anthropologist from mars wonders how humans date each other

Page 2 of 10 [ 146 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2, 3, 4, 5 ... 10  Next


do you understand how to date somebody?
nope, never have decoded that mystery. :huh: 24%  24%  [ 5 ]
yup, but it was the hardest thing i've ever had to learn how to do. :o 24%  24%  [ 5 ]
yup, it comes naturally to me. :) 10%  10%  [ 2 ]
i'm not sure. :shrug: 19%  19%  [ 4 ]
i don't give a good GD :x 0%  0%  [ 0 ]
where's my strawberry sundae for 2? :chef: 24%  24%  [ 5 ]
Total votes : 21

auntblabby
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 12 Feb 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 114,795
Location: the island of defective toy santas

08 Feb 2022, 9:14 pm

Earthbound_Alien wrote:
sorry, but as soon as you mention food I'm distracted...do I get chocolate icecream too?

with whipped cream and a cherry on top :chef:



auntblabby
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 12 Feb 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 114,795
Location: the island of defective toy santas

08 Feb 2022, 9:17 pm

Earthbound_Alien wrote:
auntblabby wrote:
seems female aspies generally are at least spared the thing that affects male aspies in this regard.


not all the time, but them I am not always a typical gal men only like conventional ladies and even my parents kept trying to make me play with dolls when I was growing up...

there are unconventional men that want unconventional women. but they both are relatively hard to find.



1986
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 28 Mar 2018
Gender: Male
Posts: 698
Location: Tokyo

08 Feb 2022, 10:15 pm

I remember having dinner out with a woman at a fancy restaurant when I was actually in a relationship with another woman. The idiot in me didn't understand that such one-to-one dinners usually amount to dating and doing such would seem like cheating. In my mind we were truly just two people eating. It didn't occur to me until many years later why the woman had seemed a bit awkward when I did zero advances and just talked about building design and politics.

Fortunately my partner forgave me because she knew I was ignorant rather than rude, but after that she made sure that I have no more late dinners with single women as long as we are living under the same roof. :oops:



auntblabby
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 12 Feb 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 114,795
Location: the island of defective toy santas

08 Feb 2022, 10:45 pm

unless one is highly attractive, women are subtle in an arcane way.



Carpeta
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 13 Aug 2020
Age: 35
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,829
Location: Aisle 12: Office Supplies

08 Feb 2022, 10:52 pm

1986 wrote:
I remember having dinner out with a woman at a fancy restaurant when I was actually in a relationship with another woman. The idiot in me didn't understand that such one-to-one dinners usually amount to dating and doing such would seem like cheating. In my mind we were truly just two people eating. It didn't occur to me until many years later why the woman had seemed a bit awkward when I did zero advances and just talked about building design and politics.

Fortunately my partner forgave me because she knew I was ignorant rather than rude, but after that she made sure that I have no more late dinners with single women as long as we are living under the same roof. :oops:


Haha! I made several such blunders when I was in college! Most of my friends were male, and when I invited them to hang out with me they kept interpreting it romantically. I remember realizing midway through a pizza lunch a friend had invited me to that he was viewing it as a date; afterwards he avoided ever talking to me again. Then there was a friend I was worried was attracted to me like all the others seemed to be; we'd been to a movie together and several other things. Turns out that one WAS just a friend -- he came out as gay. The man I eventually married went to a movie and dinner, and a few weeks later a coffee date, with me when HE had a girlfriend and I didn't know it. He is more autistic than I am.


_________________
AQ ave: 29.11 // AQ-10 ave: 7.74
EQ ave: 25.0
rdos averages: Aspie 121 // NT 85.3
RAADS-R: 122.0

Not a doctor.


Jakki
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 21 Sep 2019
Gender: Female
Posts: 12,975
Location: Outter Quadrant

08 Feb 2022, 11:07 pm

Gets out her telescope and stares intensely at the planet Mars in the night sky. :mrgreen:


_________________
Diagnosed hfa
Loves velcro,
Quote:
where ever you go ,there you are


auntblabby
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 12 Feb 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 114,795
Location: the island of defective toy santas

08 Feb 2022, 11:11 pm

per the subject of this thread, perhaps venus would be a better planet to espy?



Carpeta
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 13 Aug 2020
Age: 35
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,829
Location: Aisle 12: Office Supplies

08 Feb 2022, 11:13 pm

To Blabs (Hi, by the way!! I remember you fondly :) ): My post above pretty much sums up my dating experience. As my husband and I like to say, we are so glad to not be dealing with dating any more, because it's so confusing and uncertain. Sorry that's not exactly encouraging! My relationship developed outside of the standard "dating" scenarios. We met through mutual interests (real-world social events) and then spent hours and hours chatting online because we just clicked. I fell for him first with all that chatting and our extraordinary compatibility; he was pretty oblivious to my feelings for almost a year, but I was stubborn and liked him too much to give up on him. By the time we started officially dating, I was sure I wanted to marry him.


_________________
AQ ave: 29.11 // AQ-10 ave: 7.74
EQ ave: 25.0
rdos averages: Aspie 121 // NT 85.3
RAADS-R: 122.0

Not a doctor.


Jakki
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 21 Sep 2019
Gender: Female
Posts: 12,975
Location: Outter Quadrant

08 Feb 2022, 11:36 pm

auntblabby wrote:
per the subject of this thread, perhaps venus would be a better planet to espy?


Wants a better view of this Martian Anthropologist, and planet that he inhabits, switches momentarily to Venus , then back to Mars and commences to refocus her lense ……and wonders about the dating rituals of the species Aspie of the
Earthlings . 8O , And how Martians might think about us :D

Pardon my sillyness am without sleep very far over recommended rest period


_________________
Diagnosed hfa
Loves velcro,
Quote:
where ever you go ,there you are


auntblabby
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 12 Feb 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 114,795
Location: the island of defective toy santas

08 Feb 2022, 11:54 pm

Jakki wrote:
auntblabby wrote:
per the subject of this thread, perhaps venus would be a better planet to espy?


Wants a better view of this Martian Anthropologist, and planet that he inhabits, switches momentarily to Venus , then back to Mars and commences to refocus her lense ……and wonders about the dating rituals of the species Aspie of the
Earthlings . 8O , And how Martians might think about us :D Pardon my sillyness am without sleep very far over recommended rest period

i of course didn't have a clue about that, see how clueless i am? :o when you said mars i shoulda remembered that is where this anthropologist was from. :oops:



auntblabby
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 12 Feb 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 114,795
Location: the island of defective toy santas

08 Feb 2022, 11:56 pm

Carpeta wrote:
To Blabs (Hi, by the way!! I remember you fondly :) ): My post above pretty much sums up my dating experience. As my husband and I like to say, we are so glad to not be dealing with dating any more, because it's so confusing and uncertain. Sorry that's not exactly encouraging! My relationship developed outside of the standard "dating" scenarios. We met through mutual interests (real-world social events) and then spent hours and hours chatting online because we just clicked. I fell for him first with all that chatting and our extraordinary compatibility; he was pretty oblivious to my feelings for almost a year, but I was stubborn and liked him too much to give up on him. By the time we started officially dating, I was sure I wanted to marry him.

hiya :) can you tell me where you remember me from? and how did you convince your husband you and him were for each other? how did you clue him in?



ToughDiamond
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 15 Sep 2008
Age: 72
Gender: Male
Posts: 14,534

08 Feb 2022, 11:58 pm

1986 wrote:
I remember having dinner out with a woman at a fancy restaurant when I was actually in a relationship with another woman. The idiot in me didn't understand that such one-to-one dinners usually amount to dating and doing such would seem like cheating. In my mind we were truly just two people eating. It didn't occur to me until many years later why the woman had seemed a bit awkward when I did zero advances and just talked about building design and politics.

Fortunately my partner forgave me because she knew I was ignorant rather than rude, but after that she made sure that I have no more late dinners with single women as long as we are living under the same roof. :oops:


I've known a number of people who don't read anything into such meetings. One - a married woman - would occasionally go out to dinner with her ex, her husband didn't seem concerned about it, her sister-in-law told me it was perfectly safe, and as far as I know it never went any further. Another one I met once or twice alone in a public bar, but when I made an advance towards her she told me she was sorry if she'd given me the wrong impression and she stopped our meetings. One lady who I had a relationship with played badminton with her estranged husband and another couple they knew, and he'd drive her home afterwards. After I'd started a relationship with one woman, another one I knew asked me to meet her one night for a few drinks - I spent most of the time talking positively about my new girlfriend and how we'd got together (she knew we were together) and she barely got a word in edgeways all night. And I've known quite a few attached people who have thought nothing of spending leisure time in private with others who might plausibly be considered to be potential sexual rivals. And a surprising number of partners of people who behaved like that never seem to have even asked "what's going on?" It took me a long time to figure out that the majority of people probably see such things as not quite right, and that it was reasonable of me to feel suspicious and uncomfortable when any partner of mine did such things, and to feel that it probably wasn't OK for me to do them either.



Joe90
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 23 Feb 2010
Gender: Female
Posts: 26,492
Location: UK

09 Feb 2022, 12:04 am

I belong on Earth, with the entees. Except when I'm in a bar full of people getting drunk, as I'm the only human on this Earth who gets baffled by the appeal many NTs have with intoxicating themselves with poison that makes them do all the things that slip into the uncanny valley. It's just so trendy and appealing to them, and if you don't care to drink people think there's something wrong with you.

But there are plenty of Aspies that drink alcohol too so I don't think it has anything to do with me being Aspie here, I'm just a teetotal freak.


_________________
Female


cyberdad
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 21 Feb 2011
Age: 57
Gender: Male
Posts: 36,036

09 Feb 2022, 12:07 am

Most aliens would guess that Darwinian principles apply with dating.



cyberdad
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 21 Feb 2011
Age: 57
Gender: Male
Posts: 36,036

09 Feb 2022, 12:10 am

1986 wrote:
I remember having dinner out with a woman at a fancy restaurant when I was actually in a relationship with another woman. The idiot in me didn't understand that such one-to-one dinners usually amount to dating and doing such would seem like cheating. In my mind we were truly just two people eating. It didn't occur to me until many years later why the woman had seemed a bit awkward when I did zero advances and just talked about building design and politics.

Fortunately my partner forgave me because she knew I was ignorant rather than rude, but after that she made sure that I have no more late dinners with single women as long as we are living under the same roof. :oops:


Before meeting my wife I dated an Australian girl who told me upfront she catches up with female and male "friends" 8O and would fit me into her busy schedule around them because she didn't want to stand them up.

I heard she asked a mutual acquaintance why I never called her back :lol:



Carpeta
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 13 Aug 2020
Age: 35
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,829
Location: Aisle 12: Office Supplies

09 Feb 2022, 12:14 am

Joe90 wrote:
I belong on Earth, with the entees. Except when I'm in a bar full of people getting drunk, as I'm the only human on this Earth who gets baffled by the appeal many NTs have with intoxicating themselves with poison that makes them do all the things that slip into the uncanny valley. It's just so trendy and appealing to them, and if you don't care to drink people think there's something wrong with you.

But there are plenty of Aspies that drink alcohol too so I don't think it has anything to do with me being Aspie here, I'm just a teetotal freak.


I'm a teetotaler too. I tried to learn to like alcohol and I just couldn't. I'm at peace with being weird that way now.


_________________
AQ ave: 29.11 // AQ-10 ave: 7.74
EQ ave: 25.0
rdos averages: Aspie 121 // NT 85.3
RAADS-R: 122.0

Not a doctor.