Is it ok to identify yourself as autistic if undiagnosed?

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I'm in the same boat of wondering if I should get an official diagnosis. I've gotten far enough in life I'm not even sure if I need access to services locked behind an official diagnosis. The main benefit I see would be having "proof" to show my friends and family that I'm not making it up, but I'm not sure if I really need to tell them. I'm fine if they just think I'm weird. I was just weird to them for 26 years and we're doing alright. The only person I really need to believe me is my SO, and I am blessed that she is open minded and just went with it when I told her I think I have ASD. Knowing that I have a real problem with reading social cues and masking has helped our communication as I've learned to mask less with her and be direct when I'm having trouble reading a situation.

CopingNavyBrat, Welcome to WP!

And I think I have good news and bad news for you. You decide which is which.

<=>- Even if you get a diagnosis through a formal assessment, you might not have anything you'd want to show to friends as proof. The written "Psychological Analysis" officially declaring my diagnosis is not something I'd voluntarily share with anyone except a select few...so far, just my bride. It doesn't just give the diagnosis, it also documents the information used to reach that diagnosis...some of which is rather personal. (A wallet-sized WP membership card would be fun!)

<=>- I have mentioned it to a few of my medical providers and, so far, they have not questioned it. They did not ask to see any proof. They just took my word for it. But my symptoms are mild and the main concession I want from them is to give me everything in writing; I asked for that before I had the diagnosis and seldom got it, and now I mention the diagnosis when I make the request and I still seldom get it.

<=>- And, yes, your family and good friends already think you are weird. The diagnosis won't change that.

<=>- With family and friends who are quite old you might want to just stick to being weird. This new-fangled Asperger's and Autism Spectrum stuff they might just shrug off as some silly new fad of no interest. Asperger's was added to the DSM in 1994—the year my Dad turned 64—and I got the diagnosis in 2019 when he was 89. He was obviously, deliberately not paying attention and not caring when I mentioned my diagnosis to him. (He already thought I was weird...but, I've done well for myself so I think he thinks I'm a good kind of weird.)

<=>- I have not asked for any formal, official accommodations so other folk here would have to tell you how that works.

<=>- Something some other folk here will gladly tell you is that even if they didn't make any real use of the diagnosis, the self-knowledge it gives you is wonderful!

I've never been officially diagnosed but am pretty certain I'm on the spectrum. I didn't realize this until I was in my 40s. When I heard about Aspergers/Autism, my 'weird personality' and lack of ability to hold onto friendships suddenly made sense. I've learned to live with it, learned what to avoid, and how to try and modulate my behavior to the point where it's not so obvious. But sometimes...

I suppose it may be ok if someone presents themself as autistic, providing they don't keep the 'undiagnosed' or 'self-diagnosed' aspect a secret. If that's known, others can take it into account and judge for themselves. I think if I went for a diagnosis, it would only make it official - nothing more for me. And I'd be some hundreds of dollars poorer for my trouble.

Ya I only rushed to get a diagnosis because my husband was thinking about quitting his job with very generous benefits. (Japanese employer) It was about $1500 back then and I didn't pay anything out of pocket. Although I suspect if I didn't have insurance the doctor would have administered fewer tests. I did ask the doc to give me a 1 page summary of the diagnosis in case I need to share the result with other people.

Personally I would not be keen on it. ASD can be confused with other conditions and there is a reason why people train for many years to be able to diagnose.

Just a personal opinion though

I wish I had thought of that at the time. At this point I'd probably have to pay for a letter, but I've been considering doing that, though. Have you gotten any use, yet, out of the 1 page summary?

I've been on this forum since 2011. Probably a reason why. But I'll take that to my grave.