differences between boys and girls with autism

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I don't really have close friendships wit my peers, but I am pretty decent with relationships, I guess.

Article made a mistake: You don't need to be mentally ret*d to have "classic autism" -- 70 percent doesn't equate to 100 percent.

This is very likely to be the case. I am almost certainly one of those, though I think if AS had been known about when I was a child I would have been diagnosed, because at that age I did not even understand that I was different, let alone know that I had to hide it. (I thought that I was normal and it was everyone else who was different!)

And as for female aspies being more likely to be in a relationship - I at 41 am currently single and have been for a number of years. For some reason NT guys just don't seem interested in me.....

The article seemed to imply that girls are worse off than boys with Aspergers, but I suspect that girls have to be worse off for them to be diagnosed. The old theory that Autism/Aspergers is an 'extreme male' brain would tend to exclude the diagnosis of any woman or girl who had a spectrum of symptoms that did not keep her from also exhibiting personality traits seen as 'female.'

i think one reason ive had the relationships ive had is cause i cant stand (NT???) female friendships in general.

ive always connected better with guys... and that in itself prolly lends to finding partners and is why guys prolly have harder time finding partners... cause females are annoying to keep up friendships with (maintainence issues?)

i realize im over generalizing............. but hey

No, you are not over generalizing. I think you ae absolutelycorrect. Yes, girls/women with AS will be more prone to approach a person than guys with AS would. BUT... and that is a BIG but, girls/women with AS will not approach just anyone but someone that they find interesting or feel they can share a potent conversation with.

We are more interested in a mental exchange with another than physical exchange. So, even though we like guys (to TALK with, because they can hold a conversation better than NT girls/women) we do not foresee the fact that a NT guy will see this approach as an interest in getting more (meaning sex etc).

So, while we are enjoying the conversation the guy is planning how to get us into bed. Since we 'like' the guy (due to the mental exchange) we get into a very uncomfortabe situation where the guy asks for more and we can't decide whether to say NO or to say YES. If we say NO we feel we will lose a 'friend' with whom we can talk. If we say YES we end up getting into a relationship that is NOT what we had in mind.

So, yes many gils and women end up in relationships but that DOES NOT mean it is a relationship they wanted. They just want the mental exchange and they have to pay for that by tolerating a relationship. I can tell you that it sucks!

Star

I have found a way t get my pie and eat it as they say.

I seek out homosexual men (gay guys) to have conversations with. We have great conversations, I don't have to be afraid they will think I am coming on to them, I don't have to have sex with them to keep them as a friend. They also help me chose my clothes and give me decorating tips. What more can I ask for? LOL

Star

Gay men are life-savers!
Some of my most comfortable relationships have been with gay guys.

Oh, so much "WORD!! !" to this. If I had a buck for every time I've experienced this phenomenon, I could buy that nice beachfront property I've had my eye on.

Person 1: I love what's between his ears! His taste in music/cars/food is exactly like mine! I shall look him right in the eyes and we will discuss these things for several hours at a stretch!

Person 2: She finds me fascinating! She totally wants me!

It wouldn't be surprising if occasionally the same thing happens, but with the genders the opposite way round.

Hello.

Yes, we want a boyfriend to TALK to, and we can/do get a boyfriend but when that happens, the boyfriend gets 'tired' of our talk, talk, talk and wants sex, sex, sex.

Or PRETENDS he is listening because he realizes that if he pretends long enough he will end up getting sex. So we get frustrated because we assume he is listening, but he is not while he is getting what HE wants, which is sex.

One day we realize he was just pretending, we get mad, shut up and stop giving him sex. Result: he breaks our heart, moves on and finds another girl who talks less and fu**s more! Or he gets mad (thinking we are cheating on him with another guy) gets violent and physically abusive and might even try to kill us.

Aspie women can and have been severely damaged when these above scenarios happens because when we talk to the man we love, we give him ALL our inner self, all our secrets and thoughts, our very soul. When we realize he was fooling us and using us, the damage such a situation brings is HUGE!

No man can understand what a TRAUMA this can be for a female Aspie. It feels like being multiply raped by the man you gave your very soul and body to.

Some women never recover. Some end up never wanting another relationship, some committ suicide, some split into multiple personalities (especially if the NT guy ends up beating or physiclaly abusing them when they stop talking and fu**ing), some suffer such severe stress that end up with complicated health problems, and some suffer ALL of the above!

I know from personal experience.

Star

Well, you can get around the above by holding out for a long time.

This causes many of them to move on quickly. But that's a GOOD thing.

I have personally had some very bad experiences with women who were exactly like the men you describe (in terms of not wanting to talk, being more interested in sex than relationships, etc.)

Any HFA/AS girl over the age of 12 who is openly posting with requests for a boyfriend probably isn't a HFA/AS girl over the age of 12, if you get my drift. No intelligent young girl, aspie or no, would do that.

I don't know, some people are quite desperate...

Ahem.

Thanks.