I've been "cured" and I don't think I like it

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I like myself the way that I am.

I just see it as something I have to do to get by in NT world.

The cure is learning their skills like reading non verbal cues, facial expressions and understanding them, knowing when to talk in conversations, not talking about your obsessions, breaking your routines, etc.

i would not cinsider that a cure, more of a cover-up of your disorder.

It'll probably take time to adjust and then things will even out, the positive AS traits will remain and the deficits will be filled.

I don't consider that a "cure," per se, just growth and change. That, in my opinion, is a good thing. There is no danger that, as long as you think as you do, that you will ever become superficial. As you said, that isn't improvement.

Similar happened to me, I was told that it is fairly common in 20 something Aspies by the psychologist who diagnosed me. She called it "gaining insight" - its when an Aspie realizes that they are different and try to be "normal".

In my case, I realised that in my late 20's I was "odd". I had no friends and it was very odd/upsetting to me that I never even dated a girl. It was like a mid-life crisis or something, it caused me deep depression. When I tried to make friends or find a date (be "normal") without any social skills at all .... I only ended up being rejected by people and every failure made me feel worse (less "normal") .... which made me try harder = feedback loop.

But, you know that you have Aspergers, I didn't know at that time. I got diagnosed later. So you have a good opportunity to self-reflect (as I did) and seek to improve social skills, create real friendships and maintain self-esteem. Also, finding out about Asperger's helped me allot...I stopped comparing myself with "normal" people and accepted myself for who I am.

I first started to feel odd in a bad way in 1999, and it took me till 2003 to feel happy again. But I have made real friends now and my social skills have improved allot, but I have kept my positive Aspie traits. For example .... no I won't talk about that .... I'd go on and on and on and on about my obsession, which got me a PhD (one of my thesis chapters was brilliant, my obsession, the other chapters had lots of spelling mistakes ).

I visit the outside world sometimes, then I burn out and hide in my bed for the rest of the day. I like having the choice at least.

Yea, I'm with you Dave. It's only been a year and a half of adjusting. On the whole, I'm better now that I'm out of my own world and developing coping skills to deal with the real world. I have a better job; I'm not quite the outcast at work; I'm more comfortable with who I am; I'm able to make better decisions. I haven't been able to recapture the sheer joy of retreating into my own world like I used to. On the other hand, I also haven't experienced the overwhelming depression or anxiety or terror because I now know how to recognize and deal with triggers and society in general. I used to have way more meltdowns, so I think learning to deal with change is a good step forward.