How Should An AS Sufferer Deal With A Gay Man?

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It might be considered a civil matter though. Even in the US you legally might be limited to filing a lawsuit. The article I quoted suggest women rarely have success in civil suites for sexual harassment in Hungry. And presumably for more severe cases of abuse have been ignored.

The legal aspect of this is interesting and I may follow this up with an attorney. It's possible that the threat of legal action against the club member, the club manager and the owner of the club might result in some more effective action.

Ed Almos

Double Standards.
If a heterosexual male like myself subjected a female to this kind of harrassment I doubt if you would be so understanding...
ONE RULE FOR ALL.

Its not a matter of bias understanding its matter of what you can do about it. I mentioned already that women have a hard time dealing which such problems in Hungry. I want Edal's problem solved but likely use of force, civil or criminal action maybe ineffective or too costly.

You're making the same mistake as the PC brigade with this "one rule for all" thing: you're basing it on the premise that homosexual and heterosexual relationships are equivalent. They are not, and it's that ridiculous notion that leads to the quandary over what the originator of this thread should do in his current situation. To illustrate the point, and directly related to your comments, you wouldn't have males and females use the same changing facilities, and so the situation of harassment described wouldn't occur, would it?

Gay people have a female oriented brains they often don't enjoy science as a subject/

OK, a bit of an update after reading through the posts:

1) Gay guys don't bother me. After being there two weeks a guy asked me if I was gay or straight and after I told him I was straight he said "shame, because you're cute". Whatever. This guy is different but I can't see why except that he's VERY annoying.

2) I've no idea what the Hungarian Legal Code is regarding this situation. I will be contacting a lawyer but I won't be seeing a policemen yet.

3) I'm not a big fan of political correctness. I try to treat most people decently and they treat me the same way. There's no way I would describe this guys behavior as decent.

4) I might suggest joint changing rooms for male and female visitors but I don't think it will pass

Ed Almos

Last edited by edal on 29 Aug 2007, 3:34 pm, edited 1 time in total.

BINGO. Like someone else said, if a male did this to a female, it would be stalking, and that is mentally ill behaviour.

if you are able (i'd have to get someone to help me because i can't talk to ppl) give this guy ONE VERBAL WARNING to steer clear and stop watching you, or you will call the police. then follow up with said action if he still is stupid enough.

Are you Considering that should we have seperate changing facilities for gays and straights?
If it's a difference in relationship thing, maybe black men and chinese men should not change in the same area. Jews and catholics are pretty different. lets seperate them too.And so on.
Harrasment, Stealing, speeding,spitting on people are all against the rules it doesn't matter what gender or color or age or planet the person is from.
This gentleman has an unwanted sexual advance, in the intrest of equality( which is what everyone wants a shot at) the gender/orientation should be irrelevant. the problem "should" be resolved efficentlly regardless of details.

I have seen examples of the philosophy "The squeaky wheel gets the grease". Which you may not be familiar with in Hungary. It means the more you complain about something the more management will get sick of hearing it untill they act on it. If you are considering leaving the gym because of the harrassment, I would practice this first.What have you to lose that you're not willing to give up already?
As for violence? Don't bother. As A kid I heard another old saying that if you stand up and fight someone bullying you they'll back off.
B*llsh*t. Fighting always led to more fighting. If I lost I was "Easy prey", if I won they had to get me back.
As an adult theres just no point in it unless it's a surprise emergency.

Ed,

Seems to me that the problem with this guy is nothing to do with him being gay. The problem is that he is a sex pest.

Welcome to the world of women.

Seems to me that you should do exactly the same thing a woman would do and complain to the managment. Trust me, you are NOT the first person he has harassed and you probably will not be the last. If you complain you will also be helping the other people he harasses by creating a record of his behaviour.

M

Have you ever spoken to this man directly? If not, I think you should. I think you should tell him (nicely but yet firmly) that his voyeurism bothers you. Tell him that you are not gay or bisexual and that he is creeping you out. Tell him he MUST stop or you shall have to take legal action. DO NOT get violent, ever. Unless you are physically defending yourself.

Have you ever stood close to this guy or any other guy there? I know that with AS, a lot of us tend to stand too close to people, talk too loud, too soft, etc. and this gives some people the wrong impression. You might try harder to watch your physical boundaries. Regardless, his behavior must stop and I think you are the only one capable of making it stop, short of pulling in the authorities.

I'm not "protesting about not being gay", if you actually read what I said you would have seen that much. I clearly stated the difference between a gay person and a fag, it's in the way they conduct themselves. Don't make accusations on me just because I'm not some whiney forever 13 yr old "politically correct" wuss. I have gay friends who would be less offended that you probably are.

Any person who fits negative stereotypes like this is acting just like what their haters want them to act like. There is a difference between a white person and a cracker, a black person and an n word, there is a difference between a woman and a b word, it's in how a person conducts themselves and how well they can avoid falling into a book's worth of negative stereotypes rather than feeding them. A gay person CHOOSES to be a fag or not, they don't however, choose to be gay.

Mike Tyson is an n word, not because he's black, but because he fits every negative stereotype in the book. He's a prison con, street thug, very ignorant, violent, threatening guy. However, Chris Rock is a man who just happens to be black, and he's a great comedian.

Or (using a fictional character) Krusty the Clown from the Simpsons would be an example of the k word for jewish people (which I'm not saying because I'm trying to keep the peace), he fits every negative stereotype you could think of. However, Adam Sandler is a man who happens to be Jewish, and (despite those chick flicks he did) I loved many of his comedy movies.

Do you see what I'm saying Machine1?