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Could these traits suggest mild autism or Asperger’s??

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Double Retired
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Yesterday, 2:47 pm

BlueCat__7987 wrote:
Do you have any advice on how I might approach the conversation in a kind and respectful way?
Perhaps look at lists of famous/successful people suspected of being Autistic and find some you know your partner would likely have a high opinion of and casually mention to him...

They think Albert Einstein may have been Autistic! (...Dan Aykroyd...Anthony Hopkins...Charles Darwin... Emily Dickinson...Bill Gates... Isaac Newton...Thomas Jefferson...Stanley Kubrick... Michelangelo...Mozart...etc.)

Though be careful! After I first concluded that I might be Autistic I searched the Internet to see if there were any famous Autistics. WOW! I instantly felt like a loser when I saw lists of famous people thought to be Autistic. It took awhile for me to adjust to the fact that I might not be that exceptional, but I was in very good company!


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colliegrace
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Yesterday, 8:39 pm

BlueCat__7987 wrote:
colliegrace wrote:
That all sounds very familiar to my lived experience.

I was diagnosed autistic two years ago, at age 29/30. If I were diagnosed prior to 2013, I would have been diagnosed with Asperger's, but the DSM V that came out in 2013 combined Aspergers (and other autism-related diagnoses) into Autism Spectrum Disorder.

It is very possible to have Asperger's or HFA (high functioning autism) and not know it. I denied the possibility for years, even though multiple people told me I could be on the spectrum. It is also possible to learn to mimic social skills from others. It doesn't come innately to us, but in many cases we can learn.



My boyfriend is extremely sensitive and has a hard time expressing his inner world without feeling judged. He’s always told me that one reason he feels comfortable with me is because he can be himself without fear of judgment. Even so, it’s really hard for him to share things like his favorite music; when he does, he gets anxious about what I might think, even though the music isn’t strange or bad at all. He’s very sensitive and his feelings get hurt easily.

I also know that, despite all this, he says I haven’t seen all of his “crazy” sides. He’s incredibly intelligent and almost always seems to read my mind.

Right now, he’s successfully pursuing his PhD and is nearly 30 years old.

All these things make it really difficult for me to figure out how to bring up the idea that he might be on the autism spectrum — and that it’s not a bad thing. I want him to understand that if we are aware of it, we can actually use it to our advantage in our relationship. How do you think I should talk to him about it?

That's hard.
The times it was brought up to me, I dismissed it outright. I'm not sure I have any useful advice on this part.


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RAADs: 104 | ASQ: 30 | CAT-Q: 139 | Aspie Quiz: 116/200 (84% probability of being atypical)


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Yesterday, 11:06 pm

The big issue is the spectrum, with everyone being a little different.
It isn't like Down's syndrome, in which there is much more similarity than differences.

I'm one of those who doesn't fit neatly into any box.
I have a lot of traits, such as an unusually good memory. I can resume conversations that were started months or years ago as well has remember huge amounts of information. Really great for playing Scrabble!

I discovered I can socialize easily if I present as female though I'm AMAB!
I have "passing" privilege, in which my appearance, voice, walk, and mannerisms provide an overall impression as female.

There are lots of famous non-binary people, like the creators of the Matrix.

Lynn Conway did amazing engineering after transitioning.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lynn_Conway

I could have done more in my career if I had transitioned and my customers were more accepting.
On the other hand I invested wisely enough to retire early. :D
I have a paid up house and a fabulous rose garden.

I think this is what this thread is really about. How can you help your boyfriend realize his full potential in life?

I think the labels are secondary.
The current administration says I'm male.
Everyone at the golf courses I play think I'm female.