Do some NTs pick up on our differences more than others?

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Well, I wouldn't say it was so much an issue that we didn't know that a problem existed - on some level, we did know that there was a problem - we just couldn't adequately or accurately define it. I mean, think of those macro-aggressions we got back in the day, "Do you have some sort of mental problem or something??"

So, I would say most of the problem was NT ignorance, not us per se. But regrettably, the world doesn't work that way.

Back to your situations where you were frozen out of getting some treat that the "normal" kids got, and not that it's your fault in ANY way, but the treat-givers probably picked up on some "weird" vibe like stimming, tics, maybe rocking from side to side while waiting in the line-up / queue or bobbing one's head a certain way - if the treat in question contained sugar, then I'm sure that they had some gut-level bias that "this kid shouldn't have any more sugar" based on how you presented to them. Again, not your fault, they were the ignorant and unfair ones, but I'm just trying to get inside their heads (which is really an analytical task for us Aspie folk).

I went to brownies as a kid (girl scouts for ages 7-11), and some of the leaders hated me for reasons they couldn't articulate and I didn't understand. But brown owl (the highest in command) made it her life's mission to single me out and scrutinise me.
We were rehearsing for a concert type thing in the church and were going to sing circle of life, with some people singing verses and everyone doing chorus. I really wanted to do verses because I knew the lyrics. Brown owl pointed to me and said you'll do chorus you probably won't be any good at verses. I remember how mean and dismissive she was. I spend the rest of the evening either holding back tears or crying and trying to hide it. Why a 50 year old woman thinks its normal and justified to pick on an 8 year old I'll never know.
I told mum when I got home and she went in and complained so I got to sing the verses in the end. Take that brown owl.

But yeah pre-diagnosis I was considered some sort of embodiment of mischief and adults took everything I did really personally. Their egos were too fragile to handle a kid not adhering to the invisible heirarchy.

I’m not aware that I did any of those things, and the “treat” in question was more of the nature of canoe or swimming lessons.

One must keep an open mind, of course, but in my seventy odd years of experience, it always came down to the fact that those mediocre ambitious types, who develop a completely exaggerated idea of their own worth (they are usually the top dog in their own little pond) just don’t like autistics.

Yes, like attracts like. On those rare occasions I encountered another autistic (but not Aspies, who are far more common, and should have remained a recognised category) in real life, we recognised and accepted each other immediately. This was instantly reinforced if we spoke, as we’d launch into a conversation without any of the preliminary opening gambits that NTs seem unable to do without.

I suspect that’s mostly about determining relative status, which is of inordinate importance to most Nts but which interests me not at all. This is a major annoyance to the status freaks out there, who think we should acknowledge their “superiority”.

Yes and my mum's one of those people. Rather than wanting to help, they want to break us down instead.