Neighbors and our landlords REFUSE to help us out!! ! Why?

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I think you've missed the bigger picture. The landlord wasn't the issue.

Don't take it the wrong way, I just want to try and add a bit of proportionality to what happened, but it does worry me that as a 32 year old woman, you can't see the issue with requesting your landlord to drive you to Burger King for a Kids meal, and then later call him/her a biggot for refusing. I'm a landlord, and this would leave me dumbfounded.

Like bruh, you need a driving licence. Your dependency on others has gone too far if you think people are persecuting you for not driving you to Burger King.

You're gonna end up with no friends if you're not careful, and you'll end up in a much worse situation....dude owns your home.

Does this thread , "appear as a support request, due to the nature of the wording.? possibly," and perhaps possibly
secondarily As a request for opinions .. Perhaps this maybe a thread could be better located in the Haven ?
Have seen this effect done to myself by the Church ,I joined for 3 years . But I did not choose to lean on them for anything
because did consider that the other members of that Church , became suspect to me .After the first year . Long before I suggested to anyone, I might be able to use some help around the house. And wondered why absolutely noone there
Even thought to inquire after me. Having to use a cane during the first 2 years of attending services .But they often did offer coffee after Mass. much to their credit available to everyone. But they were always pressing for donations . Which ,I did contribute to, Financially .3 yrs no friends or acquaintances from that place. But we all had Christianity in common. Found them through my Chiropractor back then. Who quit appearing there the year after,I was introduced to them.

While I get where your head / heart is, placing every negative experience in the Haven forecloses the possibility of expressing that maybe, just maybe, the person with the complaint is in fact wrong, that maybe they are in fact acting unreasonable. I get that people need support, but at some point, it just becomes enabling.

The biggest irony is that OP dislikes being treated like a child, but then acts like one. Calling someone a "selfish conceited jerk" and accusing them of discrimination or bigotry just cos they won't do you a favor - regardless of whether the favor is reasonable or not - is just childish retaliation. And the favor in question wasn't even a "need" - it was a "want".

And more specifically, she wanted this "want", while they were already on their way somewhere else. It is generally considered rude to ask for additional stops when you're already getting a ride somewhere. It was her landlord, not a ride-share. They were already doing her a favor. Then she wanted more favors. And now they're the bad guy cos they said no to that one favor - a favor they had every right to say no to. Charity, even from a church, doesn't extend all the way down to every single desire a person has.

Thank you for understanding my point , and your description , in all average circumstances. Would have a similiar opinion to your own. And We are not all at the same level of function,as Aspies . Versus NT peeps. Now understanding
this difference ? hopefully . Often a Aspie may have certain dietary preferances( finding foods that are easy cheap to get
That does not make a person sick.( some are more sensative to foods than others) .Finding a commercially offered fast food. Can be a Godsend. Personal experience. Had a non verbal sister whom absolutely would not eat some foods . Not spoiled. One particular main course my mother cooked literally caused me to run to the bathroom and regurgitate after one bite. It was a consistent dudden reaction by my stomach, She had several children. So she was not likely to cater to any one child.After 4x time ,she decided to quit serving that dish. Aspies can and do have health issues. And perhaps, Myself included here.! Also there can be a severe disconnect between brain and stomach apetite. By the time you realiize you have forgotten to eat. It may come on like a starving person. So at that point manners may not be as strong of urge as the sudden apetite. And no doubt it may appear rude to put your benefactor in such a position. NO arguement there. Occassionally a broader depth of experience ,may yeild other points of veiw. IMHO just btw some Aspie do not age aswell as others socially,? mentally? maybe stunted at what ever age. They were able to make it to.
Just a thought offering But of course, I could be wrong?

I think the point that others are making is that it's not about the meal but the SpongeBob toy that comes with the meal is what the OP wants.

How does moving equate to no longer having landlords? Are you moving in with family?

Exactly.

While everything Jakki said is technically true, it's not necessarily applicable or relevant. Miku never mentioned "hunger", or that food specificity was an issue - the primary goal was presumably getting a spongebob toy.

@Jakki, I am well aware of the above points, in particular regarding people not being at the same developmental level or "mental age". But Miku presumably doesn't see herself as a kid, given the way she takes offense at being treated like one. Even taking these considerations into account, the issue at hand is still the disparity between how adult she thinks she is, and how adult she actually is.

Miku seemingly wishes to be treated like an adult - so I am treating her like one - by giving my honest thoughts of her behavior, and giving her the benefit of the doubt that she is adult enough to hear, understand, and reflect upon it. I'm not telling her she's bad, or even that she has to change - just that there some things to consider regarding the situations in which she finds herself. If she does wish to be perceived as an adult, and doesn't know why she gets treated like a kid, I will gladly provide feedback, since she overtly asked.

@Miku - regardless of whether you've taken my advice, you've always at least heard me out, and took it at face value that I was trying to offer my perspective rather than give you a hard time, and for that you have my respect and thanks. That is one thing you do that I can point to that is very mature on your part, and deserves to be acknowledged imo.

At the same time, the fact that you do have a pretty good moral compass and desire to grow as a person, is partly why I would put these "expectations" upon you, as I believe they are things you are capable of achieving, and that they are things that will help you grow in the ways you desire.

^^^^ The above is extremely well written ....and if you do not get alotta feedback as a Aspie. .. growing up . or possible to be able to process adult concepts regarding social skills . A person ,the OP possibly , in such a situation, may possibly have
very few references for best manners . And hopefully this discourse might give her a wider perspective . and just maybe
that could be asking a step too far.While she maybe just trying to survive / Negotiate just a normal day? ?
Sort of like not recognizing the forest from the trees.? maybe?.
On the topic of a toy with the meal. This might of occurred as a entirely different mindset ? At the point of being hungry ,
Her brain could be possibly just advanced enough ...as most maybe to see the value in satisfying her hunger while simutaneously ,getting a freebie with it, speaking from a partially aware perspective? So economic values as a more base level ,might be her reference point of veiw? Hence seeing her situation from a more elevated point of veiw from where dhe was at that time.
I cannot know the mindset of everyone , So possibly all I have written is not even Germain. I was not there,I did not see how it went down. So everything I have written here is mere speculation on existing facts presented .
Have see many of the OP posts and am appying previous observations regarding the OP writings.

Yeah, it sucks to have no freedom to go to places when you have no driver's license. Especially in this backwards country where we solely rely on vehicles for transportation. Not to mention lack of passenger trains or Jeepneys as alternatives to transportation.

In my case, I have been trapped at a toxic job for 6 years due to not knowing how to drive (despite owning a car) and I don't get along with my n-dad who is the one that takes me places. He would vent to me about his love life or job which has impacted my mental health. In my earlier years I didn't bother learning to drive since I was expecting to make income from a freelance 3D career which have never happened.

Out of curiosity, which toy are you after from the set?

It was more the food I wanted rather than the toys themselves

Now that Cathy put the kibosh on us moving to apartments, the only way I can get out of here is by getting married!! !

Then, perhaps we can move into an apartment!

Out of curiosity, what is your living arrangement? I'm wondering as it seems you have some sort of support network who you're in regular contact with, and they seem to have authority over you.

How has a situation came about where you've had limitations put on where you live? Nothing wrong having a support network, its normal for autism, but i can't help but feel it's resulting in you being somewhat blinkered and making you vastly underestimate the challenges of the life you desire.

That is correct

Cathy while she means well and has her heart in the right place has at the same time somehow unknowingly imprisoned me by creating all of these restrictions!! !

She thinks that the apartment complex we were going to move to wouldn't work for me because they have a LOT of barking dogs and screaming kids there but I could have learned to adapt

I would have been able to walk around town and take the bus to other neighboring towns but now marriage is my only chance to escape from here!

Even yesterday she wouldn't allow me to get a coffee AND a fountain drink so I am forced to comply with her demands since the consequences of disobeying her are too risky!! !! !!

I wonder if Cathy can legally stop me from getting married?!?

Who is Cathy and how does she have that much control?

As annoying as these people are, you are aware that they're also a safety net too?

Cathy is my worker who helps me run errands like grocery shopping and doctor's appointments

It would appear that she has succeeded in replacing my mom since my mom had to move to a rest home so she was effectively taken "out of the picture"

I know Cathy and her organization are a safety net but they are also suffocating me!! !

All I ask for is a little bit of freedom and the ability to go places on weekends which Cathy is trying to alleviate by getting us established with either the local Dial-a-ride transit bus or Uber which will allow us to leave home on Saturdays!

Ah so a social worker here in the UK.

How would you cope without Cathy? I mentioned getting a car and driving licence, but you said Cathy helps you with taxi's or busses. A car is a significant step up, requiring insurance, maintenance and has legal repercussions for not keeping everything in order.

It might be worth trying to take smaller steps like organising your own Uber's and busses. The more responsibility you take on, the more freedom Cathy might give you. There isn't too much to stop you calling an Uber yourself if you're in the mood to leave the house.

Yep she is technically a social worker!! !

I would survive just fine without Cathy ESPECIALLY once I get married next year because David's group home will take over Cathy's role but until then I think ultimately she will have us utilize Uber to get us where we need to go on weekends!

The problem is Uber costs money so that's why I have been holding off on them