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Brittany2907
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09 Sep 2007, 3:44 am

I can't give eye contact to many people, mainly just my mother but only for one second at the beginning of the conversation.
With strangers, or tutors at my course it is hard and if I force eye contact I will stutter when I try to speak and I wont get any words out.

What helps me is to look in a mirror and give myself eye contact. Or I practise to give eye contact with my mother.


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Stitch
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09 Sep 2007, 3:59 am

Hm, a question for the experts: Is the eye contact thing typical of anything besides AS? I mean: Could there be other reasons for it?



batista90
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09 Sep 2007, 4:10 am

i dont think...its common for most aspies 8) :roll:



ixochiyo_yohuallan
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09 Sep 2007, 4:17 am

Stitch wrote:
Hm, a question for the experts: Is the eye contact thing typical of anything besides AS? I mean: Could there be other reasons for it?


I'm by far not an expert, but as far as I know, people with depression will often look out the window, stare at the table or at some object close at hand, etc., and won't look one in the eye. They also frequently have an intent but also "vacant"-looking gaze that will fix itself upon something and stay there. I've experienced it myself, too, during my "lows" and also when I'm just feeling a tad bit melancholy and thoughtful (or maybe just very serene). It's difficult to explain - it's as if, when one is "deep out there", wrapped up in one's thoughts, one naturally doesn't want to see others' eyes because these will pull one back out into the surrounding world again. Eyes distract, prevent one from concentrating and gathering up one's thoughts, and when one is in a deeply pensive, reserved mood such as this, one avoids them.

(I wonder whether this could be one of the reasons for autism being misdiagnosed as depression, even in cases when there's no depression present - if the autistic person has a soft voice, doesn't speak much, and has slow movements and delayed reaction apart from the usual eye contact problems, they may give the impression of being depressed even when they are not).

I've also read that poor eye contact can be part of schizophrenia too, due to the typical disruption in communication ability, but I'm not sure how common it is.



poopylungstuffing
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09 Sep 2007, 3:04 pm

I find that I am more capable of making eye contact with people who don't expect me to...Like Flakey....firstly, he is the person I am the most comfortable around anyway, and he doesn't like making eye contact either....but we can make eye contact from time to time because there is no pressure and when it happens it doesn't feel scary or forced.



LostInSpace
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09 Sep 2007, 5:08 pm

Stitch wrote:
Hm, a question for the experts: Is the eye contact thing typical of anything besides AS? I mean: Could there be other reasons for it?


Yes, social anxiety disorder, NLD, as well as other neurological conditions like ADD, Tourette's, etc. Just anxiety in general can cause difficulty making eye contact.



madhousefluent
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10 Sep 2007, 5:17 pm

I can look people I know pretty well in the eye, though not for longer than about five seconds at a time. Other than that I look at people's noses or something. I've only realized this recently, when it occurred to me that I had no idea what color someone's eyes were after talking to her for ten minutes; I guess I've learned to fake it by staring somewhere around their eyes.



RedTape0651
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10 Sep 2007, 9:04 pm

This describes me pretty well. My mother is always reminding me to make eye contact with people. Before I heard about AS, I never understood what the big deal was, whether I make eye contact or not. I'd try to listen, but basically just shrug off her suggestion. Then I learned about AS, and I realize how important eye contact is for NTs, so I don't forget about it any more.

I'm learning to maintain eye contact, but I have to remind myself to keep doing it.



Doc_Daneeka
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10 Sep 2007, 9:11 pm

I find that when I do look directly into another person's eyes, it destroys my ability to converse. I end up spending too much time thinking about maintaining eye contact.

Generally, I find that it's much easier to just stare at the other person's mouth, or perhaps nose. From a reasonable distance, it appears similar to eye contact from the other person's perspective, but is much more comfortable for me.



SynDiesel
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11 Sep 2007, 1:04 am

I will offer an obligatory "eyeshake" and then the invariable drift away from contact sets in. Eye contact physically feels weird, like an optical illusion.