What led to diagnosis?

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Possibly. For instance, lots of people have mild OCD symptoms, but you can only be diagnosed with OCD if it significantly interferes with your life (I think this is actually in the DSM). I don't think that kind of qualification is in the DSM for AS, but a psychologist might be reluctant to diagnosis you as AS if it doesn't cause you too many problems. Why would you be interested in a diagnosis anyway, if you're not experiencing problems from it? Diagnosis can be expensive, and is usually not a real fun experience.

I don't know the whole story but I will tell from what I have been told.
My parents had me tested for AS when I was 10 and my doctor said I didn't have it. When I was 11, my speech therepist suggested I might have have and my mother told her I did not because I have been tested for it and she said "I have symptoms of it then."
When I was 12, my psychologist thought I might have AS after I was seeing her for nearly a year but my mother said she knew nothing about it when she took me to see her so how did she know about AS? When she told my mother she thinks I might have it, my mother said she wanted another doctor to look it over so she suggsted this psychiatrist up on the hill so Mom took me to see him and they talk about me and my past and about my history. AS was the closest match he could get to for a diagnoses and he told my other to use it to help me get through school and get me the education I needed and it also stopped my school from putting me in a class with kids with behavior disorders. I was also diagnosed with anxiety and depression that year.

I've always known that something was wrong with me, that I wasn't like other people. There had to be a reason I kept trying to do stuff that I see other people doing and failing miserably no matter how hard I tried.

I heard the term Aspergers and looked it up and it seemd to fit!

I then went on youtube to see if I could find people talking about AS or those who had it who tried to explain it.
I found this guy who seemed very similar to me only a bit more driven and charasmatic: [youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DO1yFm-7Wow[/youtube]

DEWD! That's SO me!

Then I found this woman talking about her AS. I can't find her video now but she's very adept at talking about it and very articulate. She's a butch-looking woman with glasses whom I'd love to meet and give a great big hug to.

http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/misunderstoodminds/
http://www.neurologychannel.com/

While I was at the psych ward for ~10 days, for major depression (severe consequences), sometimes I was acting like an absolute basket case with my parents. When I was first admitted there, I had mentioned Asperger's a few times since my original family doctor said I had it (weird how I only hear about this at 18, and my parents never heard about it), and thought it might have had something to do with me. While that was first dismissed, especially by my parents, once things got complicated, the doctors eventually started thinking about it.

Especially this, funny story: One day I asked my parents to bring me my electric guitar (since we were allowed to have them). My mom suggested she (and my dad) buy me a new (cheap) acoustic guitar. I told them "please don't, it's not worth their money or effort right now." And she said she wouldn't. Then when my parents walked in, my dad carrying a new acoustic guitar all carefree smiling, I got pissed off. By now, the relationship with my parents was already crap, but I pretty much exploded at them for this. They lied, and my freaking out showed an AS symptom: meltdown when something doesn't go according to plan. I hated that they did this, then I hated myself for hating that... just was a complete mess like I was at the time. After my parents had told me that if this was how I was going to act, then they'll just never come back for me. Then they left. And then, well, the ever present suicidal thinking came back, as it had before, hating myself just more and more.

Then one of the nurses, who was very supportive, as my parents were leaving, stopped them and discussed with them, asking to reconsider AS; her explanation was that AS would normally show symptoms like that (and other ones that were highly noticeable like bad eye contact), but when you combine Major Depressive Disorder and Asperger's Disorder, then that was the result; a complete, muddy, mess of symptoms. That Depression like that only intensifies the negative effects of AS. She worked with me and my parents trying to get parent-child relationships working better (with an idea of one parent showing up per day, to avoid overwhelming), and worked with me to accept my AS and who I am (considering what accomplishments I've made that AS makes a challenge, such as simply being on the football team, and performing a live guitar solo alone on stage, etc...), during this time especially, was when both me and my parents realized, Wait, this all makes sense. She was the one who reviewed it with me and my parents and confirmed for me I had it.

As I left on the 10th day (the average stay was 6 days. My complications kept making things longer), I didn't feel physically ready to go back and fight the outside world, but I felt like it was time to go. So yeah, I persuaded the doctors to get me out by then. When I left, the only diagnosis I left with was Major Depressive Disorder, but (it's been a few months) eventually we'd work out getting a diagnosis.

Overall, we figured out that it applied to me pretty much so. Although I'm now figuring out the other details (how I might also have ADHD, as I was medicated but not diagnosed for, as a child), how Depression and ADHD plays into Asperger's and how overall things are for me, that's kind of how it went.


Oh, and as for the story about the guitar... as they were about to leave, I noticed someone else had brought their electric guitar, and one of the doctors told her that electric guitars actually weren't allowed... so in the end, funny enough, we ended up keeping the acoustic guitar. I wasn't happy right away, but it was better than nothing! =)

Well, obviously, I was too young to really know what was going on, but from talking with my mother, teachers, therapists and from seeing my medical records, this is essentially what got me diagnosed (to the best of my knowledge): When I went to nursery, my nursery teacher had observed that I was exhibiting typical autistic behaviour and through her observations, she managed to get me to see the educational psychologist who agreed that I needed an assessment. So I got assessed and eventually got diagnosed as autistic. I went to a special autism unit that was part of a mainstream primary school and when I got older, my teachers felt that my cognitive profile best suited a diagnosis of asperger syndrome. My therapist agreed, so I eventually got assessed and left with a diagnosis of aspergers. I might have left out some details, I'm not sure.

A lot of my friends who currently have the diagnosis of aspergers also had a previous diagnosis of Autistic disorder or PDD-NOS (which is precisely why I do not see any distinction between high functioning autism and aspergers). Like I've probably mentioned before, a lot of diagnosticians do not make this disticntion either and will only diagnose someone with autistic disorder or aspergers if they feel that they might benefit from specific services. For example, in secondary school, I did go to a unit, but I eventually integrated into the mainstream. My peers who were lower functioning went to schools specifically for people with autism or got homeschooling, etc. It depends on the individual, really.

The thing that lead me to be diagnosed, was an emotional meltdown that I was having, at the age of five, after I had a horrible nightmare. My mum didn't cuddle me, or anything. She was actually being very verbally abusive, towards me, saying, "JUST SAY IT...MUM, I HAD A NIGHTMARE!! ! WHY CAN'T YOU JUST SAY IT!! !! THAT'S IT!! ! I'M PHONING THE DOCTOR!! !!" I felt like a loser, until the spring of 1998, because of that.

The more things change, the more they stay the same.

Adrie,

i'm self-diagnosed and will undoubtedly pursue an official assessment at some point, for legitimacy (to myself, and to others should i want to participate in a support group or such). i don't doubt the self-diagnosis though, and although an explanation (for countless things) was long overdue and welcome, i have had a near breakdown trying to accept it.

here's what lead me there:

i was a gifted but difficult kid and had big problems with anxiety and depression (and was a glaring social misfit), had anxiety attacks, difficulty with reading comprehension, an aversion to - almost fear of - a lot of my peers, and occasional facial tics in my teen years. i had suicidal ideation and was self-harming. to confuse things, i had legitimate family problems, but i was diagnosed with atypical bipolar disorder (now it would be bipolar II) age 18. i was put on lithium and antipsychotics, which didn't help, and later assumed it to be a misdiagnosis. (i'm 37; this was 1991, a few years before Asperger's Syndrome hit the books, and many years before anyone would examine the issues of underdiagnosis and misdiagnosis in women)

after dropping out of college, similar problems continued through my twenties, as well as baffling problems with my (attempted) interpersonal relationships and self-care. i drank a lot, and every time i came upon a problem i couldn't solve, i simply moved or quit everyone and everything and started over.

by this time i had noticed a pattern of mild sensory overloads (although i didn't have a term for it) and confused visual perceptions that didn't seem to be happening to other people; i test-drove a variety of explanations like temporal lobe epilepsy, stress-induced hallucinations, acid flashbacks, etc. but nothing really made sense. human beings continued to not make sense. i knew i was wired differently than other people, but feared i was going insane. i had never heard of high functioning autism. i continued to stumble through, screwing up friendships and jobs (failing to read people and having meltdowns, but again having no explanation or term for it) and clueless as to why. i tried antidepressants for a year or two, with little effect.

early thirties i realized other people were becoming adults (and i was not), and were more confusing to me than ever. i felt like an anthropologist on another planet. i discovered Asperger's / high functioning autism. i read memoirs by Donna Williams, Dawn Prince-Hughes and Temple Grandin (noting that her squeeze machine served the same purpose that crawling inside my mother's collapsible folded guest bed did). i related to some of their experiences peripherally, but failed to make the connection between autism and an inability to make sense of human communication. a few years later my amazing nephew was diagnosed with AS.

earlier this year, my social anxiety had gotten quite terrible, i had collected up observations about myself that had eluded me prior: i could not stay employed; i failed to understand when people were joking with me; i had outbursts that cost me friendships and jobs; i found it intolerable to live with other people; i could not sustain relationships; my visual perceptions (contrasting things flickering) had always made it difficult to read; i had attention and motivation problems; i could not follow movie plots, missed most of the dialogue, and had taken to turning on the closed captioning; i had obsessions, and despite money problems everything i owned turned into a collection. i saw all these things as individual issues: maybe i had ADD and hyperfocus. maybe i had dyslexia. maybe i had some kind of auditory learning problem. i was seeing a lot of details and no solid picture of myself, and still had little knowledge of AS other than reading a few memoirs.

i started therapy, with the primary problem that i could not have relationships with other people and felt disconnected from them, as if they were speaking a different language. i did not know i was missing or misinterpreting communication; i just thought other people didn't communicate. why doesn't anyone say what they mean? and why don't they understand what i'm trying to communicate?? i had spent my life beating my head against a wall trying to make sense of the human race, and no one seemed to know what i was going through. i had put it down to some kind of stress or attachment disorder caused by problems in my childhood. but shortly thereafter, i had a series of lightbulb moments (none of which had anything to do with reading lists of traits or diagnostic criteria, which i didn't do till well later on):

after spending most of the previous five years alone i was drawn to and dated a guy i thought to have undiagnosed Asperger's (now i'm not so sure, but he certainly had a lot of traits, which i related to)

i stumbled across the aspie quiz and scored very high

i found an article about Asperger's and girls which mentioned difficulties with diagnosis, and said something like "the girls try to connect with people other than their family, but cannot" ..

i read some blogs (and as many comments as possible with dissenting opinions and experiences) written by people with Asperger's and in the writing, finally, recognized my language (logic, dissection, perseveration, etc) ..

i found wrong planet and a lifetime of answers to virtually every odd question i'd ever had about my experiences, as well as confirmation that the style of writing, communication & thought that had seemed so familiar to me from all the blogs was indeed "my language" and common to those on the spectrum

after having lambasted her for dismissing my family issues as the root of my problems, i confessed my new suspicion to my therapist, whose (surprising) response was (unsurprised) agreement.

then, i did exhaustive research and looked backwards at my life with this as an explanation and everything made sense.

that was longer than i had hoped. hope it was helpful.

-K

i got diagnosed after a really negative work experience. the job was very stressful and involved dealing with a lot of arrogant and egotistical people and not being able to confront them or tell them off because i was just a lowly clerical employee and they were law school professors, law school students, and attorneys. as a result i often did things like slamming doors and so on which scared other employees and eventually some of them complained about me. so i went to a neuro-psychiatrist and was diagnosed with Aspergers. the Dx did help me as far as understanding what i was doing that made people uncomfortable and learning to handle stress better so that people would not be as freaked out by me.

more recently i have been taking Paxil for social anxiety and that seems to help as well.

it also helps that i am in a MUCH better work envirnoment now, where the stress is low to non-existent and there are not as many big egos to deal with.