Email from my dad-Opinons?

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Yeah, I cannot recall what I was like really before the age of about 11 or so. Almost a total blank and I wouldn't have been aware of any mannerisms etc anyway as they were simply me being me.

So yes, it was for the benefit of diagnosis as I have been told how much importance is placed on childhood history. Else, I wouldn't have bothered. I already know he considers me lazy etc etc

I think the email sounds as though it will assist your diagnostician. A proper doctor will recognize that everyone doesn't describe or perceive the various autistic traits in the same way. Every child doesn't show the same autistic face.

I have some similar challenges. My dad always understood better than my mom that I was different, but he was less equipped to really make allowances for me. My mother was the primary caregiver in my early childhood because my dad was in the Air Force and was away on temporary duty much of the time. She learned to just more-or-less put up with me and now thinks of me mostly as having been a moody, passive-aggressive kid who got on much better with the adults at school than with other kids. I've always done well in school and gotten some extra attention from teachers. Back in the 70s and 80s, everyone assumed that was enough to make everyone successful. Both are now frustrated by my continued difficulty with job hunting and managing the daily details that NTs correctly consider normal adult responsibilities.

I think it's probably a good sign that your dad was willing to write this out for you. It suggests that underneath your frustration with each other, he is actually more willing to accept that there is a reason for your difficulties beyond a simple "somehow we failed you and you failed us in return and I'm angry about it all."

As far as people saying "you didn't like routine" working against you. Well, routine has to do with predictability. Even if the class or the family does the same thing every day, it might not feel predictable. My son needs to read the schedule and even have upcoming events repeated.
He even used to bristle at his own routine. We started just writing stuff down. I'm the same way. If I don't plan, I fall apart. My husband hates it. He's aspie too but he doesn't have that issue.

Well in today's email, he is almost trying to backtrack on what he said.
I did send him the link to AS on wiki and he is trying to now unexplain what he said in the previous email which irritates me no end!

He also threw a bombshell by telling me he met both my mother and his current wife via a dating agency because he couldn't deal with women or get when they were interested in him ????