I'm NOT an Aspie! lol

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Hello you funny people, you!

I'm laughing at the social gaffes you make and the embarassing situations you get into. I've been there too.

I am NT but have been socially inept and weird all my life. Even npw. at 63, I hover on the outside of social chat looking and feeling awkward. I only enjoy myself if I can have an intense conversation with someone.

I love WP. I fit in here even though I'm NT.

One of the things I feel I've learned from this place is how selective humans can be about which differences are more acceptable or less desirable in the context of a large group.

I'll try to explain that a bit better...

In our societies, people who have the difference from the 'norm' of being near/far-sighted are accommodated by allowing those folks the choice of 'correcting' this issue by wearing artificial lenses, or allowing them to squint their way through life.
In some circumstances, this difference is accommodated by providing 'LARGE PRINT' editions of reading material, or machines that will magnify the print for those who are severely affected by their vision problem.

In our societies, there are people who have the difference from the 'norm' of having one or more of the usual four limbs, not working, or of a different size (never grew to the expected length), or 'malformed' to the extent that there may be digits missing from the usual 10.
In some circumstances this difference is accommodated by providing mechanical devices to 'correct' this problem. These people are often accepted into the regular worldly activities such as the work-world with their devices-of-aid, and sometimes are looked upon with admiration for doing so in spite of their difference.

Someone with AS or ADD/HD who is capable of integrating themselves into society, but only in certain ways (albeit successfully), are often dealt with in a disrespectful manner partly due to the inability of the so-called NT's to 'see' this person's difference. They only see the results of the difference, but due to the lack of a physical sign as recognizable as a malformed limb, or glasses, there is difficulty in telling what is true and what is false... that the person in question is behaving in a deliberate manner or in a manner not under their conscious control, and that this difference is undesirable.

What I have seen here is a number of folks who adopt this unbalanced view of people who display a certain type of difference from the so-called, and oft-accepted 'norm'.

There is a pervasive feeling here that putting ones self under the umbrella of having a 'syndrome' and being somewhere on a 'spectrum' separate from the NT's defines one as being broken... needing fixing... being in the wrong... needing to fit into the life-patterns of other, different people, instead of just accepting the unique difference in those here.

There is the incessant questioning of people here about their official diagnosis, their self-diagnosis, and whether there is a linear measurement to this syndrome broad enough to allow any person to fall under the label as long as they are determined to belong somewhere on this continuum.

Well,

There's only one thing you can do...

Walk outside and call out loudly, "I'm am an Aspy and I am PROUD OF IT!" and go back inside.

You know, if one person, just one person does it, they may think he's really sick and won't pay attention to him.

And if two people do it... in harmony... they may think they're both fa***ts and they won't pay attention to either of them.

And if three people do it! Can you imagine three people going outside and calling out "I am an Aspy and I am PROUD OF IT!"? They may think it's an organization!

And can you imagine fifty people a day? I said FIFTY people a day... walkin' outside and calling out, "I am an Aspy and I am PROUD OF IT!"? Friends, they may think it's a MOVEMENT, and that's what it is: THE ALICE'S RESTAUR....oops... sorry ... THE ASPIES ANTI-DISRESPECT MOVEMENT!... and all you gotta do to join is to go outside with me and sayeth the words together... with feelin'

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5_7C0QGkiVo[/youtube]

Sorry... just had to throw that in...

Did you get the point of this whole thing?
I had one when I started typing it....

Okay, I found my point... here is...

I understand how difficult it has been, and is currently, for me to integrate myself into society.
By that, I feel I can appreciate how difficult it is for the many folks here, as well.

I understand the current trend in society of expecting all of us here to change ourselves in order to reap all the benefits the NT's gain from life. I do not see that as a something that will change, to any significant extent, in my lifetime.
The current methods by which we create this change are often in the manner of physically altering the way our brain works(drugs and therapy).
The accommodations provided to people with other types of differences are not met with an equal effort to accommodate us without the intervention of laws, which are too easily bypassed and only force a change instead of creating the desire of a whole society to want this change.

Just saying you are 'okay' and 'normal' even with your Aspiness or Adderness, isn't going to alleviate the trouble you have with fitting into society.

BUT

I still believe the more each of us can accept our own selves and change the way we view and understand our differences, the better our lives will be.
As we come to accept ourselves with openness and pride, I believe in the long-run, we can change public opinion also.

That's where I am at currently with myself. I know I am a bit of a problem to other people because of the way I am... but that does not make me 'disabled'! My differences are no worse than the differences I see in so-called 'normal' folks.
Heck, I see myself as a role model for some of those people.
I see so many of you as role models for some of those people.

Well, time to get off my soap-box, I guess.

Part of the reason for your feeling less socially impaired than hubby may not be so much as AS difference as the gender difference. One theory behind the 3-4:1 gender ratio in AS is not that there are that many more males with AS, but that fewer of the females are noticed and diagnosed (if they are even diagnosable).

What it really boils down to is that we males have kind of wimpy, vestigal little speech centers anyway, limiting our verbalization to the occasional grunt. If we have AS on top of that, we're getting a double whammy. Women with AS usually don't usually fare so badly.

[quote="siuan"]I'm just a socially crippled NT with severe sensory issues.

Is that possible?

quote]

Theoretically I'm sure it's possible to be just socially clumsy and have sensory issues, without having Asperger's, then again, does it matter in any way? Also, when for example I look at the diagnostic criteria from the DSM or ICD I just don't get it, because according to it someone who "just" has a lack of social skills and is motorically clumsy and has sensory issues won't get diagnosed whereas someone who has low social skills but at least a special interest to compensate for it and keep him sane and happy, will. Doesn't make any sense to me at all.

Siuan, I can definetely relate to where you're coming from. Sometimes, I feel that i can't be anything but AS, other times I feel NT. For me, it depends on what kind of day that I'm having. Like the other day I went on a class trip with my youngest son. He's severely autistic, so he requires lots of hands on assistance. I, of course attended to him during the whole trip. I felt fairly confident, and only slightly anxious. On the other hand I went to a b-day party with my two oldest kids a couple months ago. I wanted to leave as soon as I got there. I couldn't think of anything to talk to the other adults about, and I felt very out of place. The only time I did speak it never came out right, and I sounded like an idiot. The only difference between the two situations is that in the first one I know my roll. I know what how to care for my son, as being a mother is my niche in life. The second situation required all kinds of improve. I just can't do social improvising. I have to know exactly what roll that I'm playing, and I have to have "scripts" prepared.
As far as feeling disconnected from others, I feel that way a lot. The main reason is that I connect with people through talking about my special interests. The thing is, is that hardly anyone wants to sit around discussing the same topic in excruciating depth that I do. I overanalyze everything so bad that it's not even funny. There's always this wall in between myself, and others.

Okay... This is lame, but I've done a parody style song to the tune of "I'm Not an Adict" by K's Choice. It's a lot more touchy feely that the original. Hope it makes you smile.

---

(I'm Not an Aspie.)

Breathing in and breathing out,
what is this treatment all about?
CBT and management,
the shrinks think this stuff's heaven sent.
It's not autistic, not quite, but not “NT”
if you don't have it, you're not the same as me...

The deeper you stay inside your brain,
the more they think that you're insane.
I'm in treatment, oh my God,
Neuro-Typical, I am not.
It's not autistic, not quite, but not quite “right”
if you don't have it, you're on the other side.
I'm not an Aspie, maybe, that's a lie...

It's over now, I'm home, alone,
therapy was overblown.
It doesn't mean a thing to me,
can someone explain this CBT?
It's not autistic, but still, it's on that slide,
if you don't have it, you're on the other side.
I'm not an Aspie, maybe, that's a lie...

Read me. See me.
Checking out Wrong Planet now...

Post a reply. Chat with me.
I'm going off to check the forum... The forums...

It is not that tragic, it is cool, I feel alive, I feel.
It is not a handicap, it's cool, I feel alright!

It's not autistic, it's true, but we're all just fine,
Autistic, Aspergic where's the line?
I am an Aspie, sing it out with pride!

I am an Aspie!
I am an Aspie!
I am an Aspeeee-ye-hey-yeah!...