Trying to Find the Reason that You're Weird

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I used to think it was because of the maternal unit's breakdown and the parental unit's divorce.

It wasn't. It just contributed to some of the symptoms during those time periods.

So now what do you all attribute it to??

It's not me. It's everyone else.

Nothing. It is what it is and I am what I am. It is how I was made and while I can try to improve myself, attributing my condition to something is non-productive. I cannot change whatever made me this way and spending a lot of time obsessing over it will not improve me.

I thought it was because I lost my temper a lot and told too many D-A jokes. And that was the reason, after all. But the source of that was anxiety with AS adding to the fun. If I ever clear that up, I'll be in better shape.

I had all that stupid childhood trauma. More than anyone should be allowed to have in one childhood. I think the AS contributed to the abuse. I couldn't control being weird, but other people used it as an excuse to abuse me.

Now there's a trick ending no one expected! However, my son had none of that and is weird in a lot of the same ways. So, go figure. Maybe I raised him to be weird like me, who knows?

I was raised in a really weird family. I think that they were incompetent because they were embarrassed about being social misfits themselves. The denial and dishonesty just made things worse. So now my autistic spectrum genes are passed down to my kids. My daughter has a very hard time because she is overwhelmed with autism anxiety but my son feels good about his coping skills and doesn't regret his AS genes. We've pretty much surrounded ourselves with playful, fun, creative AS people. We're therapy for each other. It's hard to get used to how accepting everyone is about all of our AS flakiness, like going dark for awhile when we're in meltdowm modes.

I always thought I was just very different from other people and had different interests.

Folks. Abuse, especially sexual abuse, has nothing to do with AS. If you think you've been sexually abused, or you know it, you need professional help, 'cause it can really mess you up. Being overweight, or being way underweight is a sign of sexual abuse. It's something that can be worked through with a therapist who know's what they're doing. They don't always use drugs. And seeing someone qualified can reduce the effects of the abuse, so all you have to cope with is the AS (which is a hell of a lot, so why do you need anything else?).

Good luck.
Btdt

if you seriously think someone is sexually abused soley because they are over or underweight, you need to see a psychologist yourself.

While it may be a sign of such things, its more often a sign of other problems ie a thyroid problem. Typcially its only a symptom of a abuse that the person with the weight problem is fully aware of. They don't feel like living so they don't eat much, or they want to make themselve look unattractive to potential abusers to they overeat.

I think that children know things in a way that adults don't. I knew that something was very wrong, not only with me but with my parents. I remember seeing the ads on TV showing the American family enjoying the holidays and all that, and it was obvious to me that this was not the case with my family. I also knew that living in misery wasn't how it was supposed to be. So finally I decided that the whole system of American ideals was rotten and corrupt and I went my own way, for better or worse. Of course, this was in the seventies and a lot of people my age where doing the same thing.

I thought this aswell...but my mum said that I had problems before the trauma (age 9 I was). I think the trauma may have enhanced my anxiety. Even though I am diagnosed with AS, I still think that if the trauma did not happen, the anxiety would be less. But apparently when I was a small child I had high anxlety aswell...so I'm not even sure.

I have CP so I was always a bit isolated. CP, however, never explained the collection of railway timetables and street directories I had acquired at age 5, the shyness, the unwillingness, nay refusal to follow what others in my class were into (a big pfft to Masters of the Universe in 1984; a Lego train set is much cooler) etc etc.

Part alien, my grandfather was Wraith,

I find it hard to socialize with the prey species, and they react to my presence.

I can relate to the overweight thing. I was never like, unhealthily obese or anything. Just always chunky. Growing up I spent a lot of time blaming two things... my chub, and the fact that my mom couldn't afford to buy me nice clothes. I thought thin and fashionable was what made a person happy and normal.

A few pounds of weight loss later, and a closet full of pretty clothes, I'm still a freak.

Though I actually take a lot of pride in looking physically normal or even attractive now, because I love scaring the crap out of people with the things that come out of my mouth. They don't expect me to be so out there, and it's hilarious to watch some people's reactions.

As for "the reason" I'm weird though? Around the age of 16 I realized that no matter how many of my past issues I effectively dealt with (various kinds of abuse, etc.) I still felt like it was just in my brain, you know, my biological make up. I think in my case, no matter how nurtured I would've been, nature still would've taken it's course.

First time really thought about it was late, because I'd used up most of my brain power on learning how to "do" feminine etc, age 18-25 especially, but when I finally started thinking I thought it was cos was woman!! !, and lesbian/bisexual/something sexually different ( radical feminism as explanation of oppression,exclusion etc), then I thought it was my parents fault ( which in a way it is , but not something they could have helped ! !), and artificial/unnatural industrialised-worlds child-rearing practises!! Then I discovered food intolerances, and the part gluten in particular played in my mental state ( and sensory reactions) and I thought it was that!!
Then this year I found out about AS and it has all clicked.