Facial Expressions Take So Much Effort. What about you?

Post Reply New Topic

My mum asked me dis mornin n said u look really sad n i say no im fine but i do struggle 2 read facial expressions so ur not da only 1 who suffers 4rm readin facial expressions on dis site.

Considering that many people employ *don't show too much emotion* or *don't give away too much* maintaining poker faces even in the face of emotional upheaval - with numbing substances adding to the emotion-less stance - heck yeah - I'd say it's real hard to read faces, but energy (aka vibes) are a dead give-away. Ha

I'm always being told I look "bored" "serious" "unhappy" etc. Or I get asked "what's wrong?" or "having a bad day?".

Worst of all is when people say something like "Cheer up, it might never happen!". My standard response to this now is "Sorry, it already has" LOL

I hate that when people say, "Cheer up, it's not that bad." A few years ago, I started replying, "You're right, it's much worse than that."

Imagine the looks that I get, then! Love it!

I think I mostly make my facial expressions automatically, now, but they do feel somewhat artificial, and I don't doubt I learned most of them when in school, more than 10 years ago. Certainly, when I think about it, it seems like most of my expressions (and tone of voice, for that matter) are overexaggerated, almost a parody of what I'm feeling, too much in an attempt to get how I'm feeling across. But I don't think about them, anymore, it's not something I could easily turn off now.

I'm always afraid I make the wrong facial expression, like I don't look appropriately surprised or happy or sympathetic when I'm having a conversation with someone. Truth is, I may not FEEL whatever emotion, but I think I should LOOK like I feel it, for the sake of the conversation.

I practiced "appropriate" facial expressions with a friend (NT, of course) who used to remind me when I'm supposed to smile, look "friendly" or "honest" (sort of paradox, because even professional swindlers smile a lot...), or sympathetic and so on... That helped me a lot.
It seems to be an NT instinct to trust people who smile at them. Of course, that instinct is often false, and people can be seriously misled by it... But it makes conversation easier.

I'm curious about this; can vibes be sensed over the internet, e.g. through these forums? Or does it require actual contact?

Of late I've been wondering what vibes people here sense from me; what colour my aura appears to be; what kind of person I come off as... Is my self image reasonably in synch with the image others form of me? Are my words interpreted in the way I intend for them to be, or in some other way more often than not? If through my writings, I attempt to define myself as a character in the story of life, do I do a good job of it? I wonder...

The Icarus construct's facade routines have gaps; some are true glitches, and some are strategically placed peep holes. Only the very perceptive notice the gaps at all; only the very astute think to peer past the facade, and through the gaps; only the very brave can gracefully handle what they might glimpse there; only the very wise can resist the need to pass judgment, avoid the easy trap of jumping to spurious conclusions...

If I have a dead give-away, I wonder what it might be; for I'm not sure I know myself...

Good fortune,

- Icarus is a poker face...

I've been told that when I smile for photographs it always looks fake or "put on". I do smile when something is funny or I'm laughing about something but I always overdo it for pictures and stuff. I have to be very conscious of my smile in a photo or I end up looking like I'm grimacing.

I have little awareness of my own facial expressions. When I deliberately try to look angy, people tell me I look sad.

I'm kind of the same way. It depends on if there's light in my face though. If there's light in my face, I overdo it. If there's a clear view, it looks almost non-existant.

My forced smile, that’s what I call it. I end up looking like a dork whenever I do it. Honestly people, I am happy about what’s going on at the moment. Really I am. I get a giggle whenever I’m told to smile. In general people have told me I look like I’m constantly upset over something. Errr…

I'm really good at smiling for pictures. The trick is to make a smile that's way bigger than you think you should. Pretend you're in a campy movie. Then squint your eyes a little so you get the wrinkles at the outer corners. You'll feel like an idiot and the picture will turn out great.

When I'm not having my picture taken I look sad or pissed off.
There should be an emoticon for the face people with AS usually make, which is really no expression at all.

I always tell poeple who ask, don't make the mistake of expecting my feelings to show on my face. I'm not bored if I haven't gotten up and left. Otherwise You can't tell what I'm thinking. I like it that way.

Btdt