Are Your Symptoms Getting Worse?

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Worst, as people expect more from adults over children (what they want of you, not what you want of yourself), especially those who look "normal".

I think my AS related problems have gotten better with age, but I am not as happy as I was when I was younger. School wasn't bad for me, as I was not picked on much and was usually left alone. I also had one good friend and we had good fun being freaks together. Now that I moved away I really have nobody, and I can't find any new friends. I have also never had a girlfriend, and that is really starting to get to me.

Since childhood,it's mainly improved as was closer to lfa than mfa as a child,but am think the reason for that is stability in life, routines not broken,full support,and better understanding,but this year it's been worse,in terms of meltdowns-having them almost daily due to living in a very unsuitable home,changes,routine messed about with,fluffybums' death,meeting the most incompetent non understanding staff ever [one physically abused am not long ago,and threatened to turn on hoover before am got out the house-she said am get own way all the time and she was not having it-she did not understand had to put washed and dried quilt sheet on quilt before going to parents,it's what am do every thursday, she got away with it as she said it was am who was going to attack her which was complete crap but they believed it,and managers said she had not had a lot of autism training,but is going to be trained up now along with everyone else,bit late now all the harm has been done and am having to change homes isn't it.],the whole bonfire season thing-its been going on since september here,and am forced outside whilst TAFH has her hair dried,have had severe MD after severe MD as a result,managers originally allowed to go in staffs cars for a drive away from fireworks,but she has suddenly said she never said that and has had a rant at the staff for taking am out,she said this was allowed to both staff,am,sister and dad to so she is such a liar-sister is phoning her 'superior' today to complain about the lying and why she is okaying the fireworks torture when the risk assessment says no.
am also retreating back into own world a lot more than usual,definitely regressing,although not as bad as previous times.

ASD is both environmentally and situation influenced so if something that makes the person worse off,whether that be
routine messed about with,too many people around,too much noise etc it can all affect traits,for some people,this might be to a 'regression' level,for others,this might mean they find themselves having more meltdowns or worse meltdowns than usual,or they might want to avoid people more,they might be stimming more......if wondering why traits have got worse or increased,try and work out everything that is going on,and if so,can whatever it is be helped.

has a lot to do with the critical mass' energy shifting...things are rocking and rolling on all levels, a lot is getting sifted out and shaken up. The most exquisitely sensitive are feeling everything from flies crawling to atmospheric pressures fluctuating..... Got to take of yourself...

It comes & goes.

Right now things are pretty bad for me, but 3 or 4 years ago I was much better.

I think my current problems are because I am trying to block out all the distractions from my busy, noisy open-plan environment at work, but in the process I am just shutting out the good with the bad and isolating myself in my own little bubble.

It has got so bad that my colleagues do not involve me in anything any more. They have all gone out working tonight & not only was I not invited, I didn't even know the job was to be tonight until I came in this morning!

So when they asked me to go to lunch with them (probably feeling guilty, because they've never asked me before!) I said no and made an excuse that I already had plans. The real reason was that I didn't want to sit there acting like everything was OK when it wasn't.

The other problem is that I am trying to cram so many things into my life that I don't have time to do them all properly, let alone maintain my home or leave any space for other people.

Things are so crazy right now that I am even trying to be in 2 places at once on one night of the week.

And I have just found three new activities that I want to do, but I know I can't afford them financially or fit them into my schedule.....

What I am really trying to do is fill up the emptiness inside me, but it doesn't work, it just makes me more stressed, so I am more likely to lose it, which makes people hate me more.....