Communication styles intrinsic to aspergers?

Post Reply New Topic

That all depends on your frame of reference. From mine, those people that lie, cheat, and manipulate, the ones who engage in character assassination... they are the ones with a social impairment.

Personally, I don't debate anything with anybody. I state my position.

I don't have a need to convince anyone that mine is the correct point of veiw, only that it is my point of view. For that matter, I don't have much need to convince anyone of anything.

I'm okay, and if others don't share my point of view, I'm still okay. I think there's a lot of this attitude on WP.

There are a lot of people who do have a need to debate. This need is served by other fora, and in our own Politics, Philosophy, and Religion forum.

Even though we have a so-called social impairment, I think it's just because "normal" people can deal with situations that for me and for many others on the spectrum feel forced, unnatural, and/or overwhelming. I noticed something different when I first joined this board, but it didn't feel wrong. It feels very satisfying to know that there are other people who think and talk/write like I do. If there is anything wrong or deficient in my social skills, at least I can communicate with others who have some understanding of the problems I experience.

A question is properly answered to the questioner.

A question can be of many types.

This one, Is it just me or, sets the field for reply.

What is your favorite bat? Is going to get another. I love the Free Tails.

"The answer is inherant in the question,

"to find the answer restate the question."

What should I do, is going to differ from, what do you think?

Some will reply to any question with "What about the children."

Some never respond to the topic, just others who dare post an opinion,

"Everything you know is wrong!"

"You must be on drugs."

Some are like me, So you are not very interesting, yet you speak of Porn, knowing it when you see it, show and tell, dealing directly and firmly with the original poster, in their own stilted way. You arn't ready for the Old Aspie home yet.

As I understand the original post, I would restate the question.

"Is a lack of a normal communication style intrinsic to Aspergers?"

The answer to that is, "Duh!"

Which bring the varient,

"Is the lack of normal socialization intrinsic to Aspergers?"

The answer to that is "Duh!"

"Are all Aspies the same?"

"Do Aspie talk to themselves?"

"Do Aspies speak to their computer?"

"How many Aspies does it take to change a light bulb?

One, but do it yourself, for Aspies do not like change."

How do Aspies ward off NTs? By being polite and intelligent. They cannot understand us.

Do Aspies wish to become normal? I doubt it.

NAW, I was "raised" on the classic, and I like patrick stewart(aka picard) as EITHER, and I like almost everything brentspinner did anywhere, and data. I also like leaonard nimoy and spock. I DON'T like william shattner on almost anything he has ever done, including as kirk.

I even knew a person that answered a call of his to the phone company! He is like that IN REAL LIFE!! !!

So I doubt your feeling is due to your generation(no pun intended).

I think that's just the way Aspies communicate. I've noticed the same style of communication when I'm interacting in person with someone who I suspect may have AS. Most people talk back and forth to each other; Aspies tend to spew facts and opinions at each other. There's nothing wrong with it, although I think some NTs have a difficult time dealing with it. My ex used to b***h so much about my communication style that I finally just stopped talking to him for the most part.

I do find though, that when I'm around NTs a lot, I get better at communicating in the "normal" way. I have to be conscious of it though and concentrate on when I should reply and what I should say. It's exhausting. The friendships I tend to put a lot of effort into are usually with people who can follow my thought process and have similar communication styles.

I have noticed the difference, too. My brain can handle one forum at a time, so for now it's WP, but before it was a board for parents of ASD kids. I was constantly talked around anytime that I made a post. the only friend I made from the board is another (suspected) aspie. It was like a popularity contest. Whenever there's any kind of argument the other people would call in their friends to back them up, sometimes their friends would even create an account just to do this. Here, we go google until we have the facts to back up our side. It was like highschool all over again!
Here's an example of how I can't seem to communicate the same as NT's: There was a lady on this other board that considered "the mother" of the board. The other posters seemed to worship her, for reasons totally unknown to me. Whenever I'd post anything she'd come behind me, and reword what I had said. She'd put in more emotion, and adjectives, and everyone would respond to what she had to say with great acclaim, while totally ignoring me. My posts were short, to the point, and without verbal cushioning. Also, I do not do (((hugs))) over every little sad thing someone may post about.

Not to be tangental or thread-stealing, but on the Star Trek issue (yes, I was an *uber fan* as a kid, and definitely was in the Spock camp. but I got re-fixated on film/tv production when I was about twelve, so bye-bye Star Trek, hello lifetime career) I actually once had lunch with Bill Shatner (business related, when "Tek War" was first in production, and I was still making video games for a living). Conclusion... Not a person I would aspire to be (keep in mind that I'm taking about "the person" and not "the character" - that seems to be a tough distinction for folks in the NT world, a bit less so in AS-Land). TNG was a little too late to have the sort of impact that TOS had, but I readily acknowledge that Patrick Stewart is a far better actor than Shatner (What a voice! I'm fond of saying I'd rather listen to Stewart reading the ingredients off a box of cereal than hearing most actors recite Shakespeare... and I *like* Shakespeare!).

As to the "actual" topic of discussion here - yes, I agree completely that this board presents a fundamentally different sort of environment than any other board I've ever come across. I've never felt comfortable posting comments elsewhere, but in this environment I feel compelled to write, and it makes me incredibly happy to do so.

I want to participate and communicate in this place, and while I'm not entirely certain why, I suspect it's because I don't see the the sort of thoughtless, judgmental, self-aggrandizing retorts that seem to dominate other forums. There's a decided lack of self-importance in WP posts, and it seems that most folk respond meaningfully (or at least interestingly) without descending into flaming rhetoric.

If you're in doubt of how different things are here, look up "Godwin's Law" and try to find threads that have succumbed to it on WP - while there may be a few, I haven't come across any personally.

Nick

Er. I disagree. Asperger's is foremost atypical neurology that triggers hyperdevelopment in certain regions of the brain, and it's that hyperdevelopment that leads to social delay (which is not the same as impairment, clinically). This is why AS is often linked to savant skills, hyperlexia, eidetic memory, synthesia, higher IQs and "systematizing brains" and not simply socialization and communication problems. Those latter traits often get overemphasiszed, methinks, when talking about AS because of the constant insistance on including AS as part of the ASD spectrum nowadays, as well as the pressure from people who wish to expand AS to include a broader range of individuals who may not display the more "positive" aspects of AS.

What should be apparent - yet get blurred too often - is there are certain things that the Asperger's brain (usually) does very well, but the downside of that is it detracts from the development of parts of the brain needed for social development. This is, in fact, different from most other forms of autism, and I think to understand AS properly, you have to include the "positive" side too. Anyone living with AS probably is aware of that from their own experiences, especially if they have dealt with people with other forms of autism. It is also possible that whatever atypical neurology that caused the hyperdevelopment has another, more direct part in our social delay, but the atypical neurology still preceeds it.

Overall, people with AS have demonstrated they can learn effective social and interpersonal skills, but they develop them differently and on a different time schedule. Moreover, they frequently need some form of intervention, education and support to help them cope with their differences in a society that does not readily accomendate them. We may never act socially as NTs do, but there's no reason to think that the progress and achievements we make in our own social development are less valid because we'll never be neurotypical (that is to say, I don't think we should see ourselves as "impaired" in this way). Granted, there may also be a psychological impact (depression, anxiety, unresolved anger, etc.) resulting from negative social experiences because the person is on a different social development timetable, but that's a whole other bowl of cherries.


To get back to the OT: seeing AS is atypical neurology, and is a pervasive condition, certainly it would affect communication style. Communication style is often one of the first observable traits of AS, as children with AS usually lean toward an "information gathering" style rather than the more personal, social style of other children. This "information gathering" is indicative of the hyperdevelopment of the AS brain. It seems that, partly due to that hyperdevelopment, an AS brain, especially in a younger person, is very hungry for data it can easily systemize to compliment the rapid development in these regions of the brain. It also seems that AS children usually intuit that they different very early on, and this information gathering communciation style is partly to compensate for their delay socialization skills - as if the brain think is can make up for that delay by doing what this does well even more. This overcompensation may be the root of "obsessive" tendencies that's very common in Aspies, and manifests in traits like verbosity and pedantry (like my post here), narrow and obsessive interests, hyperattention to detail, and OCD-like behaviors.

This is a great thread.
I agree that we tend to talk "at" each other, but I like it that way. I think when NTs talk, they are often trying to reach a consenus. They want to discuss an issue until they all have the same answer/opinion. They get mad at people who don't conform.
Aspies are accustomed to having interests and opinions that differ from those of others. We don't generally want to convert anyone to our way of thinking, we just want to exchange information and anecdotes.
I think our way is better. It allows issues to be explored more thoroughly, and with more respect for different points of view. But if you disagree, that's okay

Taken from the diagnostic manual:





Yes, it is atypical neurology, said neurology is due to brain damage; why certain parts of our cognitive processes are better than others is up in the air, I like to think it's because the parts that aren't damaged are compensating for the deficits. The latter is pure speculation however. No, most other forms of autism have the splintered cognitive pattern, what defines the severity of such is the amount of damage to the structures of the brain, more damage, less cognitive ability.

To those whom scribe to the idea that people with autism cannot lie, cheat and/or whatever, you're completely wrong. The only other person I know with definite AS in person is a complete jerk.

I used to post on the World of Warcraft forums. The difference here isn't even like night and day - it's like the difference between a Class O star and the very center of a black hole.

It seems as if John Gabriel's well known theory doesn't quite hold as true here.

I'm hoping a great deal that I'm misunderstanding what you've written here. When I read this paragraph you wrote it sounds like you're suggesting I don't have aspergers. If that is the case, then I'm sorry, but you're mistaken. I was diagnosed by my psychiatrist almost two months ago. I was not seeking a diagnosis of AS, but the psychiatrist said that I have consistently shown strong symptoms of such throughout the year he has known me, and that he is convinced there is no amibiguity in his diagnosis.

Actually, they HAVE done studies. If a person can't use a part of the brain for its native task, it can get reassigned for another task. That is ESPECIALLY likely to happen before 10, and ESPECIALLY in VERY young kids. Ask any neurologist. They sometimes DEPEND on that ability.

BTW I HATE lying, and didn't until I was fairly old. I HATE cheating, and STILL haven't. That is especially odd considering how many have cheated with me. When I was a kid, someone actually put his name on MY paper! Talk about CHEATING! I don't think anyone was saying that it was impossible. Still, a LOT of NTs LIE about a LOT! How many tell the truth on resumes?

Not at all my meaning, some day I will learn to use those little smiley faces, but I am still afraid of them, they are a face, with eyes. For all I shrank it, it was still pure Aspie, and sorry if I did not post it was a bad attempt at humor. I was trying to show the flight of a literal Aspie mind through a cloud of terms that twisted me this way and that, before coming to the basic "Do Aspies communicate differently."

How the question is posed will affect the reply, was my intent.

My own style, or lack thereof, is personal, I cannot find anyone to blame. 61 years of talking to yourself.

I too have read other forums, but would never post there. This place is very different.

I was diagnosed by a Minister in 1953, as Demonic Posession, and refused Baptism.

We have different backgrounds, but still, a lot more in common. This is a recent discovery for me.

Danielismynane has been my main guide through this. I understand his words.

Now I am hearing new voices,

IronicChef can write.

AspieMartian has just taken this up a level for me, it sounds clinical, but has some very useful points of view. I was a Free Range Aspie, knew nothing, just lived. My development was not hindered by knowledge of what I was supposed to be. I was simpley weird. I worked around what was a problem, and followed where I was better. Machines, computers, and my books. Natural ability became knowledge which developed skills, by which I survived, and am still doing very well in some fields.

I knew when I fell to WP that it was the right place, and I just as firmly hold on one reading, that AspieMartian has got it right.

It was great to learn that it was not just me, that you are all weird.

Weird became defined through Danielismyname. The mechanical part, what it is and is not.

AspieMartian is writing about what we can be. Applied AS. Aspie Mental Science.

The impairments of socialization and communication, and all of the host of other problems, may well be avoided by a bit more understanding.

Most of what I see is caused by reaction to the world. Natural development stifled, secondary reactions.

Our development does follow a differant path, but for all of us from the old days, it just did. I would think almost all found a path in life that worked for them. I can see this running through generations of my family, Master Machineists, Photographers, chemicals, radio, and mostly self employed.

The young seem over treated, and not developing, treatment seems to be impairing their development.

What I see in AspieMartian's words is uneven development, dormant sectors, highly developed sectors, and a means of bringing forth a fully developed person, as they are. If you are hungry, you think of nothing but food. If you are full, you think of other things. Perhaps if some of our hungers were met, we would then develop the social and communication naturally.

Some natural things do work, martial arts for children have great results. The body mind connection is being fed. If a few more areas were fed, it might prevent a host of other problems.

I am not a hyjacker, this is Aspie Communication Styles in action.