How to speak to NTs in the right way about AS

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howzat
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18 Dec 2007, 5:35 pm

I only tell some NTs about my AS n dey don't mind it at all infact dey have a lot of respect 4 me as i have come across as a very mature person in they eyes.



Kwiksnax
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18 Dec 2007, 5:50 pm

I've told friends and acquaintances and it has gone down well.

However, my family is not so comfortable with it. Perhaps it's because it reflects poorly on them that one of their own has defective genes, as if there is a curse lurking in the background of our family tree and I am bringing it out for all to see.

From now on I'm not going to tell anyone about my AS unless it becomes absolutely necessary. Most of my friends and acquaintances were surprised to hear that I have AS because I appear 'normal'. This means my NT disguise is working well enough :)



anbuend
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18 Dec 2007, 6:19 pm

I've successfully explained aspects of being autistic to people who aren't.

One good way to do it is to come up with analogies.

Another way that seems to really work well, is to come up with an example they really understand, from their own life, but then explain that for you it's like that all the time in situations where it wouldn't be like that for them, or that it's like that even more intensely for you, etc. (Make sure they're really NT before using that one, and that they don't have some condition that makes their life much more like yours.)

Other times it's just not necessary to explain.


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CrushedPentagon
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19 Dec 2007, 9:01 pm

I thought about telling someone today. He is a neighbor who does handyman jobs around here. He was doing some work on my house today, and was really surprised at how weird I am. Didn't he ever notice before? Was I that bad? He's teased me in the past, and I just shake it off. He is the really outgoing and loud type.

He is really convinced there is something very strange about me and I'd like to give him some sort of explanation, but I'm not sure what to say.

Thing is, nobody has ever reacted that way to me before. Maybe they thought it, but didn't say anything and he is just so open that he had to say something.



IronicChef
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19 Dec 2007, 10:22 pm

I've told only my mom (dad's not around any more) and my closest friends. Mom, surprisingly, accepted the assertion immediately ("we always knew you were different") while my friends have been far more skeptical. They have a hard time accepting that AS does NOT mean "rainman", and it's been tough dealing with them since my revelation.

I wonder if they feel some amount of guilt for trying to help/force me to fit into the world as they perceive it. One of them made an effort to set me up with single friends of theirs, but it never worked out (that happened in the pre "I have AS" days, so I didn't even have a way to express why the whole dating thing was so complicated/hard for me),

I don't think I'd readily admit my mindset to the general public as they seem to react badly - I don't even want to discuss it with coworkers as they are inclined to use it as an excuse for their own failures ("he didn't get his job done right so it's his fault my output looks bad").

Nick