"fit in" why is it so important to NT's?

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Because being part of the social group provides security.
Humans are basically talking monkeys with delusions of grandeur.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zJM4EBuL82o[/youtube]

Pretentious but possibly true?

Pretentious? No.
True? Yes.

I think that, with NT's, they like to fit in so that nothing about them stands out. If nothing about the stands out, they don't get picked on by the crowd. As we are all aware, we have more difficulty blending in than what NT's do. My feeling is also that NT's fear being alone. I'm not saying that we don't feel lonely sometimes but, you have to admit, NT's on the whole require a fair amount of social interaction and will do anything to get this attention, even if it means they are not entirely being themselves. We, on the other hand, have more difficulty with this again as we largely are 'ourselves'. We don't pretend to like something (especially if we really really don't) simply to get the approval of others or to blend in, we don't do false. If it just so happens that you agree with your peers, then great. But how many NT's do you think disagree with their peers and own up to it compared to aspies? And who is it that decides who should be followed and agreed with in the first place???? A question I have been longing for an answer to for a long time. Because it's actually people like this that cause social problems and make others feel like outcasts.

It's the tribal instinct, the various cliques in society act very much like primitive tribes; complete with taboos, ritual hazing, etc.

your right, its a survival instinct really. nothing more.

That and the fact that nt's seem to be terrified of individuality.

I think fitting in is important to everyone at some level. My son wants people to like him, but doesn't know how to make that happen. Just because he'll stim in public doesn't mean he doesn't want to fit in.

I agree with u because wen u work as a team ur fellow pupils would just piss about where as if u work on ur own its a lot more comfortable it works better for me aswell.

True. I am NT and when I was younger I moved toa completely different city with almost a different way of doing things, as far as young people go. So I wound up being in a new place with little to no friends, and being shy made it worse. When I was younger I didnt want to be alone because I knew it would make me an easy recipient of stares, mockings, etc. I think when you are a young kid, you think you need to change something for people to like you (and this can be to whatever group you belonged to- play football to fit in with the jocks? listen to a certain musician or take up skate boarding to fit in with skaters? smoke pot to fit in with stoners? Join a club to fit in with the smart kids? It's whoever you think is cool.).That's an easy mistake to make when you're 12. You dont know very much about anything, including yourself. As I got older I preferred to be by myself because I liked what I liked and didnt care what anyone said. We develop more of an identity as we age that we stick with for long periods of time. So perhaps people with AS have the same mentality as an older high school student who won't change for another person, but at a younger age? The rest of the world has to learn to believe that about themselves over a process of years.

I also think that disagreeing with peers doesn't mean you cannot be friends with them. Peoaple can disagree with viewpoints/lifestyles of another, but that generally doesnt mean the only option is reject that person, unless it is something you cannot overlook.