Assumptions

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John is so confusing. Most of the people in my life are much simpler to read, mainly because I won't be friends with them if they're really unclear.

Vince said And the thing is she should know that I agree with her beliefs on many points because I've made it clear in the past. And I'm her firend. It wouldn't make sense for me to mock her beliefs. It wouldn't be consistent. Especially not when I reaffirmed my agreeing just a second before. So yeah. Irrational assumptions. The bat suit remark was in reference to the hopelessness of the situation, and I said the word "unfortunately" with complete honesty. It's weird.

This is what happens to me too.

Though in this case it sounds like she was angry at the fact that you obviously weren't planning on being an activist like herself, and she wanted you to join her in the activism. Often people will pretend to get angry at the wrong thing because the real cause of their anger is not a legitimate claim. She can't say "I'm very angry that you won't come with me, I want your company." So she invents an imaginary slight on your part. NTs are very good at picking the real reason why the other is angry and they know the other won't mention the real reason.

its another example of the hypocritcal world NTs raise us in.

AS children wer'e taught to catogarise people and follow absolutes. " listen to a policeman doctor etc."

People want to label each other. I hate it when people ask me "what do you do?"
If I say I'm a motorcycle mechanic theyre going to jump to a different conclusion about who I am than if I said Tech Engineer.

Less work for thier brains . . .

Anybody ever goto to a "hip " resturaunt where the waiter acts all friendly and asks you how you're doing and you tell him? I mean really tell him. " Well I got a package in the mail i was waiting on so thats cool but this cold won't seem to let go how about you?"

My friends used to give me hell for it. I thought NOT to would be being rude.

I despise the "what do you do?" question at the beginning of any talk with any new person. The question is actually: "give me something quick and easy to pigeonhole you in". And if you don't supply it, they act all alienated and shocked. What? Don't you want to make friends?

I'm totally uninterested in what others do for a living, unless I've gotten to know them and like them, then I get curious about the details of their lives. Not when they're still strangers.

Assuming the worst topic

I often make assumptions, especialy about NT bosses. I really have this worry about how they are going to terminate my employment.

I do have empathy for those who have suffered misinterpretations, though. I think that we need to think critically and logically about what people say, in order to understand. This is why I analyze information, to the best of my ability.

Oh, I hate it when people make assumptions. Especially when they do it badly.

My husband said this morning while watching the news, they'll never make gay marriage in Indiana legal. It would ruin real marriage.

Now, I'm looking at this man who has been divorced twice (I'm number 3) and thinking about my friend who has been with HIS husband for 20 years and thinking....exactly how does it ruin real marriage? And what is real marriage. Because clearly you've screwed it up at least two times. So, I asked him why he thought that gay people should be exempt from being as miserable as the rest of us. LOL.

His reply was, well, then we'd have to give them medical benefits and the cost of insurance will go up even more.

Now, I'm looking at this man and I'm thinking what does any of those things have to do with the original idea of banning gay marriage. I think about how ill my friend's husband has been with IBS and he ended up losing his job. I'm thinking, they could have really used my friend's insurance to help them out. Instead it came out of their pockets because his husband had no insurance! How would being on my friend's insurance have driven the entire cost of the overinflated insurance industry any more?

I'm thinking that we have a dj business and a photography business and I'm thinking....or maybe it would raise our profit margin. Gay men are the only ones who can afford truly gaudy and distastefully lavish weddings. Or am I making an assumption now?

I actually had my someone in my family say something utterly ridiculous to me recently when I tried some nasty barbecue crisps out of politness and they were vile. She said "you only say you don't like the taste because I like them. You always have to deliberately go against what I like"

I bit my tongue - as it's just easier but I really wanted to say: "Um no, your cheap MSG covered crisps are vile and it's not all about you. Just because I don't like something you like - doesn't mean I don't like you. Oh and P.S. get over yourself. I live my life for me, not you.

Just because I don't like something you like - doesn't mean I don't like you.

That's what I mean. If you meet someone new you want to become friends with, you can't say you don't like something they like, or they immediately assume that you mean you don't like them. It's true that many people use that as an indirect way to say they don't like you, but not all, for God's sake!

Barbecue potato chips are absolutely DISGUSTING!

I know exactly what you mean. I had this problem all through out high school. But I never really understood the urge to pee in a pack. If you do, it just makes the bathroom more crowded and noisy. If I don't really need to pee, why would I take up a stall that someone else desperately needs?

That question annoys me too. I am still a person even if I don't do anything the NT sees as important employment.

Years ago I took a temporary job for a couple of months as a cleaner. One Sunday, a lady in church asked me what I did for a living and I said I was a cleaner, she didn't say another word, she just turned around and walked off. I wasn't even important enough in her eyes to even say oh or anything. She just said nothing and walked off. Good that she didn't know about the AS too.

Well said.

What a snob! As if you had to live up to her expectations, or something!

Sums it up perfectly. I have this problem constantly. I feel like I'm constantly being treated/interpreted as someone completely different. I despise having to constantly explain and justify myself, all the while sounding like I'm making excuses. Having people make drama queen comments because they interpret my "you're not understanding me correctly" as "OMG NO ONE COULD EVER UNDERSTAND SUCH A COMPLICATED AND INTELLECTUAL SOUL LIKE MYSELF". When really, all I want is for people to not have predispositions when they talk to me. I am not everyone else. I do not think like everyone else. The words I say and things I do, do not have the default meanings that you think they do. Just get to know me damnit, that's all I ask.

I loved that first example! lol, but I do hope that was a joke... >>

It's in human nature to try to understand another persons thoughts. Like how you assumed he'd think you were calling him a communist if you gave him anything red. You purposly avoided this scenerio because you wanted to avoid confrontation.

Being an aspie makes this already delicate ballance all the more confucing. I can't tell you how many times I've been misunderstood, and misunderstand people here because I'm not an aspie.

Greentea- I can understand where you are coming from on the John example. But in situations like these, people are trying to show kindness to you. No one can read your mind and see you are having a bad day unless you tell them. If you had a friend and you went out of your comfort zone to smile at them and they just looked the other way, what would you think? I wouldnt think, "Oh they're just having a bad day, that's why they deliberately ignored me and looked away like I wasn't even standing here." It's sometihng you would expect a stranger to do, but not a friend. You dont have to smile, but I just wanted to explain why someone would assume you dont like them.