Increasing Need for Isolation and Lack of Sociability

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I find myself not wanting to go out unless it is with a person I really want to be with, even then I won't go to certain places and it must not be filled with people.

It is strange. I have a feeling of wanting to leave but no desire to actually leave.

It's gotten worse since I've gotten older. I just find myself lacking in patience some days.

Stress will increase this too I've found. If stress levels go up...your tolerance levels seem to go down. Seems to work that way for me anyways.

I'm guessing:

1. You're intensely focused on writing ATM, and having to be social is a distraction from that.

2. The weather is godawful, and you haven't been outdoors for days on end, and that's enough to depress anyone.

My late father-in-law, if you caught him at a bad moment, could be quite hostile and verbally abusive, without much advance warning. When that happened, I'd make it a point to stay the hell out of his way until he felt like being friendly again. That was usually a matter of two or three days. Then the ice would thaw, and everything would be fine. If it had gone on for several weeks, or months, though, I might have been more concerned.

I get these moods too. People doing their everyday things seem to crowd in on what you like to normally do. It feels like everything snaps and you just have to lash out, and the last thing that tips my scales is usually something minor and inconsequential. I made my best friend in 4th grade cry because i told her i didn't like her anymore simply so she would leave me alone. (i put my hands around my little sister's throat when i was 11 because she was nagging me.)

How I deal with mine.

First, I have to have a space that no one is allowed but me. and I mean no one (well animals excepted, try to keep a cat out of a room), I thought I was OCD hoarding for a while because I could see when people went into my room and moved things and it really bugged me. But no, it is just my space.

Second, (this probably isn't good for my mental health but) I talk to myself, then answer back. You know that question(or statement) that someone says, that would normally fill up the i-am-pissed-off-o-meter. If you can, when you feel it sneaking up on you, fill in the conversation with how you wish you could respond. Like i know if i respond to my mother snapish i will get a scolding, so I hold that, say it in my head and do the entire conversation in my head doing both parts of the coversation. then you can vent the anger, without actually getting the family member upset. (you can also get really creative with language like this)

Third, other option, avoidance like they have the plague, say I have homework, read a book, go to sleep, find something that makes it look like you are dutifully occupied and usually grandparents will leave you alone, even if you are sitting in a room by yourself.