I got told today

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That doc is an ignorant moron, get a new one. That's almost as stupid as the "if you don't mind food on your plate touching you can't be an aspie" comment many get.

Oh, and my grandfather on my mom's side probably had AS and he was married to my grandmother from 1949 until he died of cancer in 1984.

I rarely give advise, but here I would strongly advise you to get a new doctor. Like people have said there is staggering ignorance and ignorance of this magnitude could be very detrimental to you.

I would point out also that I have a child and it was through the unique anxiety around being with him that led to my dx with AS. I have been in many relationships and hear of many people who have made a good go of relationships.

With re personality disorder, I am unsure as to how most people in the spectrum can have such a solid sense of self as to be 'personality disorder free' such is the need for our adaptive skills and tools born out of emotional and brutal necessity. However, this way of being needs to bee seen in the context of Autism and not dismissed as merely psychological and treated as such.

There is still very little known about the overlap between the neurological and the psychological. I speak as one who was hospitalized and treated as psychotic and have suffered much trauma from my so called 'treatment'.

Shop around and gt the support you need and the doctors you deserve.

[quote="tbam"]...by a Doctor, that married people can't have AS because by definition AS means you can't build a meaningful relationship with another person to the extent of marriage. That he doesn't *think* I have AS because i'm married. Even though my marriage broke down officially today.quote]

I can't do what now? What kind of nonsens is this? I would check my doctors diploma if he ever said something like that!

That doctor is an idiot. Find a new one.

My husband is on the spectrum and I'm AS and we've been married 7 years. While we may not represent the "norm", we're certainly proof (like many others here) that there is no cookie cutter shape for people with autism spectrum disorders.

Seriously, find a new doctor.

The doc's wrong.. and I'm sorry to hear about your marriage

Q. What time is it when your doctor mis-quotes DSM IV like it's a bible that you should follow to the letter?

A. Time to find a new doctor.

Wow, yea the doctor doesnt know anything! My doctor literally told my family in front of my face, that i wont ever live in a normal society, let alone get married, or have children . I was in shock, now even though my diagnosis is classic autism, i've been dating this NT guy for 2 years now. It has been soooooooo extremely rocky, but this guy still sticks around. It is very possible for an ASDer to get married, I don't many people with classic autism getting married, but it doesnt mean its not possible but aspies, yes defintely, I have spoken to a couple, and even met some older parents as well. I know even though i was more severe as a child, now more higher functioning as an adult, it will defintely be hard, but I won't ever let statistics get in my way.

One thing I've learned over my whole life is never to listen to doctors, some just say from what they've seen or what they've heard, but a good 80 percent of doctors who even diagnosis and study their butts off to learn as much as possible really dont know anything until they've experienced it themselves, and still then, they dont know the whole story. Doctors take data based on whats happened or what they've heard. Its not always the case. Don't give up hope, especially from what doctors say. I've had doctors tell my parents i was mentally ret*d, and putting my in an institution the rest of my life is probably my best bet of survival . Just sometimes only you know whats best for you. I still honestly believe if I keep moving forward, and never ever give up, anything is possible !

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Being Normal Is Vastly Overrated

Bullcrap. People with AS have much more difficulty with relationships, that's granted, but in no way does it stop all Aspies from having successful relationships. I think that doctor needs a bit of re-education.

This kind of ignorance is disturbingly widespread. Today I went to my psychiatrist and we talked about different diagnoses. First, she added "Bipolar NOS" to my list--AD/HD, Anxiety, and Asperger's. Then she started wondering about the AS diagnosis and wondered if "Asperger's NOS" (what she actually meant was PDD-NOS) might be better. She then took out the DSM and started looking at the criteria a bit skeptically. I said that when I was in high school, my parents took me to a psychologist who specializes in AS and she said I have mild AS. And that my current therapist thinks I fit the criteria, too. Still, we had an exchange that went something like this:

Psych: I don't think you have "lack of appropriate relationships." You have a serious boyfriend.
Me: Yes, and he also has AS.
Psych: You have a close relationship with someone else.
Me: Yes, but I don't have many other relationships.

Then she suggested that my social problems may be related to my mood and anxiety issues, which I find pretty off-base. Improving my mood and anxiety is not going to teach me how to initiate social contact and talk to people! In the end, she decided to revisit the issue later, but I found her interpretation of me to be pretty off. At least she didn't try to deny the PDD altogether.

I have AS, and not the mildest, and my current relationship is 3 years. Sure, that isn't a lot, but it's pretty decent for someone aged 22. I don't think that I could never get married, no matter how much I wanted to.