To my sister and anyone like her

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Then please just let it go. Also, why don't you make the owners of this forum aware of the problem that you have with this thread and ask them if I am an a**hole or a troll?

Last edited by Remnant on 04 Mar 2008, 5:51 pm, edited 1 time in total.

She doesn't say that. She just refuses to work until she finds the "right job." Hey, I don't have the "right job" AND I spend hundreds of dollars a month to support an adult who believes that she is a responsible adult while my car falls apart.

I have been the person who has done this to someone's detriment before, and he had a high income or he would have suffered a lot worse than just aggravation. He always had enough money, I did contribute but not quite enough, and I did work, and knowing what I did to him has been emotionally devastating and it has seriously adversely affected my life. There are a lot of people around who won't drag themselves out and do ANYTHING, and I am close to at least two people who are like that, who just won't. I am at least as worried about what it does to them as what it does to me, but dammit I decided to be responsible but I now do not have enough money to keep up my car, which I need to work.

Also, "just aggravation" is still pretty cruel and I still kick myself for it.

Are you and your sister both AS? Do you think maybe the reason you are hard on her is because of your own experience with not contributing enough to a former head of household?

My brother is now a successful engineer and has social and emotional problems. Some time after I was dxed with AS, he came to believe that he had it too. He consulted a therapist, who in fact agreed with him. Now he is earning $100,000 per year. Look, you have to hang in there and keep persisting. Regarding job interviews, yes, they are a pain. The best advice that I have been given is go in there with 1)acting like the employer is one of the best friends that you ever had and are going to reacquaint yourself with him/her. 2)Think of a great, rather Earth-shattering moment that brings you great pride. For me, it was standing up to my controlling dad at one point and another of kicking my uncle out of my room for viciously insulting me. And still be hopeful. As Cicero stated, "Where there is life, there is hope!"



Money won't end your current depression. There are plenty of unemployed people out there who are NOT depressed. Put on act when you go for an interview by acting as if the employer is a long-lost best friend as previously described.

As for college, it put a brain in my head, but no money in my pockets. Frankly I should have gone to a trade school instead, learned a simple skill and then other better skills later, maybe via going to college.

Thanks for the advice. I'm not giving up. The last interview I had was a dinner interview, and I waited for the person who interviewed me to make his first move. I merely copied that. I also read an article on eye contact long ago and learned that when someone moves their eyes away from your direction, that you're also supposed to move yours so as not to be seen 'staring'. I didn't forget to try to vary my voice this time either(has happened before). It seemed to have gone much better than the others because this one actually called me back.

It was very mentally exhausting to keep track of all these things I was doing and I missed out on about 2/3 of what the guy told me, and I don't know if I'll be able to maintain this at sporadic periods requiring interaction those 8 hours each day on the job if it is necessary to do so. But if it works on GETTING me the job, at least it's a start.

As for the depression, I have ideas which I want to build(pertaining to my major areas of interest), and that will not happen without money, hence I'm depressed.

See, here is the thing- some people with AS are capable of working, while others are not. Some people with AS have more going on with them than AS, like mental illnesses or emotional problems.

I've just e-mailed six pages of various job sites and addresses that I'd like to work at, and I don't feel that there is any right job. A right job to me, is a job that's located in the city/township that I live in. I did have to mention that I don't wish to do cash related stuff at some places, though I'd be willing to do anything else. There is no right job. The job that I end up working at, will be the right job, for me. I think that "Right Job" business is an excuse, for a person not to be working.

And some autistic people find that just being autistic is enough to prevent being able to reliably do a job, without any emotional problems having to be added on for that.

Although, I was able to do physical work until my body gave out. But as an autistic person I was never able to sustain cognitive work to the degree a job would require. Just due to the shape autism takes for me, not due to additional stuff. Trying to sustain it even enough for school led to a crash and burn of massive proportions.

But, yeah, if my body magically repaired itself, I'd get a job. I was always known as a hard worker when given physical work to do.

It isn't helping.

Diminished ability to respond to crises like car trouble.

Diminished quality of life.

No security at all.

Could have done so much more with the last couple of years and the next couple of years.

Don't say ALL people who don't have a job are bad people. There are many (especially us Aspies because people sometimes can't look past our quirks to see our good traits) people who are looking for a job and can't find one that suits them. However your sister sounds like she's taking advantage of you, and you are enabling her if you let her stay with you rent free with no consquences for her actions.

Remnant, are you AS? Is your sister AS? I don't know why I've had to ask you 4 times now and you won't answer. Then again, maybe you answered in a round about way and I just didn't catch on.

I'm sorry, I don't actually know.

I know it feels good to have more things. I know it seems to make things physicaly more convienient. Don't let it hurt your emotional needs, on the other hand. Certainly don't let it be in the place of connecting with a person either. Just word.

For me, it wouldn't matter if I was ritch, I would still be a miserable $#% with that same message spinning around on a moment to moment basis. "get more money! Serve the money world! your worth depends on it!" my worth does not depend of objects. I have had a job 5 times now, and it didn't make me feel any better. I'm not trying to work for myself, but another's expectations and ignorance.

I'm talking about objects like clothing and cars, mostly, and not quite tangible items like an education. I'm too old to put anything on hold until someone gets around to letting it happen.

We need all of that to take care of ourselves. And there is no good reason to act as if we had taken vows of poverty.