always someone "offended" by my comments...on othe

Post Reply New Topic

So true.

Me or her?

I meant her. I honestly think that your way is the way that should be listened to. Her way is my sister's way and the way of a lot of people who I've had arguments with, who are often brutish males. Just pointing out that I have no idea if there is a gender bias in the use of such tactics. There is a difference in the ways that the genders use it. One thing that I forget about bullies is that they have so often pretended that I was victimizing them.

They take offense, they nullify your effect, they "win" the kind of impoverished mental and physical condition that they fight for. Then they moan piteously about the lifestyles that they have chosen for themselves and want help from the people whose philosophies they have so soundly defeated. That help usually consists of money plus repairing any of their machines and other useful objects that they have allowed to break down due to poor maintenance.

It is obvious that I am not paid enough for this crap.

Off ended topic

I would rather find commonalities when discussing topics with others. If i disagree, I usually try to find a sensible argument which would be problem solving involving a synthetic approach, so there is a win-win situation. I do not split hairs like mozzarella cheese just to see how many I can split. I did that years ago just to win arguments. But at this stage in my life I am here to learn. My views are eclectic, and reflect the situation. If you would examine all my posts there would be inconsistencies. I am not always systematic. There is no coherent whole here. Ideas change, evolve. I do have a tendency to like ideas for their own sake, but not that I would implement all of them, as this is not practical. Not all my views are logical, and some may even read as strange. But human personalities are complex. I am human. I make mistakes. Live and learn.

If you get just one shot on this planet (Earth) I will aim the way I want. If someone is offended and if I am offended, then so be it. We all make choices. I just choose to be open to more choices, even if it does not appear to be this way. Just remember, though, being open does not imply that I will attempt to try everything. It just means I will consider what you have written. Thank you.

Reminds me of my ex therapist. Each time I don't buy one of her shallow opinions on things, she yells like mad. Then she says my problem is that I'm "aggressive" (meaning I confront her with truths that make her shallow theories crumble).

Sorry just being paranoid, I've been accused of being arrogant in the past. That really bugs me because I'd like to think I was just being objective most of the time.

This kind of thing happens to me all the time. It's even happened here on WP. People get offended when I say something along the lines of, "Oh, that's interesting. Here's a different way to look at it. What do you think of that?" I don't know why someone would interpret a difference of opinion as a personal attack.

It's frustrating because I like talking to people who think differently from me and trying to understand their point of view. Conversations with "like-minded" people quickly become boring. And yet most people seem to prefer to talk to people who agree with them. Why is that? Is it that they actually care more about group cohesion than thinking and learning?

Not group cohesion, I think, but rather self-validation.

People can interpret a difference of opinion as a personal attack when they have a history with the same kind of rhetoric. One of my brouhahas involved AR type rhetoric and people who tried to pretend that they were simply concerned citizens, but who kept dropping subtle hints and using personal attacks. Onlookers might see the part of the argument that looks legitimate and not the signs that there is more to what is going on.

Chances are she had a pop-psychology upbringing where her parents believed child abuse lies at the core of every mental condition. I know several people who grew up in families like this (supposedly enlightened about child-rearing) and oddly enough, none of them have children of their own. They have lots of ideas about how to raise someone else's child, though. Go figure...



It's the universal 'victim mentality' I've ranted on and on about for years on end. People, NTs in particular, can't handle it when someone (with facts) disagrees with them. Of course she was offended - you proved to her that she might be wrong about her ideas behind the cause of ASDs 'round the world. In my view, she deserves to be offended for speaking without getting her facts straight first. Don't take it so hard. The nice thing about NTs is that even if it's horrifyingly easy to offend them, they usually get over it pretty quickly. It's not necessarily an 'NT Thing,' it's an 'idiot' thing, and she made a generalized statement that made her look stupid. Que sera, sera.

I work for a reputable health insurance company, I get customer service calls that start out "I'm DISABLED, I have "Blah Blah Blah". The attitude is I could not possibly be anything other than sound in mind and body, myself, and here is my opportunity to show them compassion and assauge my own guilt from having a perfect life -and more to the point, by giving them some higher level of accommodation than the same benefits everyone else pays for.

usually somewhere in the conversation I pardon myself to pick up a pencil I have dropped and then express mild frustration because I rolled the wheel of my chair over it and it snapped.
It's not my fault if they interpret this as the wheel of my wheelchair. . .and they do adjust their attitudes pretty quickly.

It doesn't work with those trying to talk me into giving them an exception for scheduled pharmaceuticals, that they 'dropped into the sink' or their friend crushed the bottle with their car wheel, though. I could write a book on excuses and sob stories all designed to convince and cajole me into doing something I have NO AFFECT/EFFECT ON THE OUTCOME.

But those same folks that play the victim card would be the first to be offended if I called THEM a victim.

Merle

A major source of frustration in my life is trying to get away from being the victim. The trouble is that there is a lot of reality to the victimization thing. Victimization is a major industry. Part of the problem is that there are agencies and individuals who will try to take down people who are successful in life. When it happens to me then my own whining grates on my ears.

I don't know if you know what I'm trying to say, Sinsboldly. Victimization is real, and I don't want to act the victim anymore. I've taken advantage of people before and I want to do better by them but I feel really helpless.

Last edited by Remnant on 08 Mar 2008, 10:06 pm, edited 1 time in total.

People who lack legitimate arguments frequently resort to feigning offense and trying to instill guilt to control a social situation; to them, having their beliefs questioned challenges their self-esteem.

Good point.

Lol, there goes the problem. She is an ableist and she doesn't even recognize it, and if you point it out to her she's probably too caught up on her ego to listen. Oh no, she'll NEVER listen to a high functioning independent person who actually HAS one of these disorders, because she insists that since she's "normal" and we're "abnormal", and therefor she knows more about your condition than you do. And that she has to play the perpetual nanny, because apparently aspies and people with disorders, no matter what our functioning level, are too stupid and child like to advocate for ourselves.
Let her have her stupid little condescending pity party. but she needs to keep that s**t to herself. We're fully functioning aspie adults, we don't need condescending nannies to hold our hands and advocate for us.

I aroused aspies in my local hf aspie group up against the autism society once because of this kind of behavior. Man we raised complete hell over there... Heh I should know, I led the charge. In the end they finally let us run our group how we seen fit, and stepped the ____ off our nuts.