Ever feel accepted and then it all crashes down?

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Hey TheDoctor82, That was rare story with a happy ending

I've almost given up on all ideas of being any part of social circles, but maybe I should have more hope that maybe it could turn out better... It's a risk I'll probably take again down the road.. I'm still healing the wounds from the past though.. Maybe I'll try again soon... we'll see.....

HARTZofspace, I can relate to that co-worker story -- I've had that kindof thing happen to me too.. To this day, I hesitate to get to know people too much at work, for fear that one person will start gossiping and ruin my job.. I try not to get to close to them.. The Last full-time job that I had for several years involved my mostly working alone -- I really had no co-workers at all.. Best job I ever had! ; )

I was at one point I was quite popular in the social circles but then I suddenly wasn't I can't for the life of me remember why and my memory of that time period has vanished leaving only a few snippets here and there like a dream fades after you wake up. Either something bad happened and my memory blanked it out (I have little to no memory of meltdowns and other severely negative experiences) or they just gradually drifted away (one stopped going to my school the rest became popular)

Yes, I have had this happen. So I don't really try much anymore. I go through the motions and people think I am successful because they don't look behind the mask. I can get away with it because the organizations I am involved with are service/professional, not social. I've given up on the social.

When I was at my old course, I thought that I was accepted by others.

One day I found out that they were just using me for money and taking advantage of me. It hurt.

Yes, but for the most part, it was my own fault. I can't blame anyone else.

I remember only three things from elementary school. One of them is perfectly suited for this topic.

My normal recess time, since I wasn't allowed to stay inside during that half hour, was spent thinking beside the school building, you know sitting on the ground by the wall, pleasently thinking. I think. So this girl came up to me and said "You want to play with me?" And I said yes, So we went to play. While I was playing on the low monkey bars, she grabbed me and yanked me off, then berated me for believing we could be friends. I must have happened a lot because I remember being used to it and just dusting off and going back to sit. xD That was pretty horrible.

It happens to me a lot. As the people get to know me better, they like me less and less. Or the leaders of the pack become threatened by my popularity in the group and start a campaign to bad-mouth me and make me look bad, until being seen as liking me is just "out" in the group and so nobody wants to be seen with me.

Ha.. story of my life

I'll say it again- if that's their attitude, then they don't deserve you to begin with.

We aspies may expectedly be a disaster in the social arena, but that doesn't make us unlikeable by default; those that really appreciate you will stick with you.

Understand one simple thing- most people in this world do not have any major set goals; they just either drift thru life, or desperately do anything in their power to "belong". See, deep down most people feel as insecure as they THINK you are.

Deep down, most feel worthless about themselves, and "need" external acceptance from other people. This is yet another area where we Aspies get lucky- we've already learned we're not gonna get it, so we stop going after it; and because we learn it so early in life, we learn better earlier on, and realize it's not all it's cracked up to be- and we don't let it bother as us much as the "normal" folk do