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Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
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23 Apr 2008, 10:55 pm

About the spelling thing: keep in mind that annoyance with minor details like spelling is also something that goes with AS. So (in my mind) it's no worse for one to criticize someone's spelling than it is to criticize someone who is easily annoyed by misspellings.

I do think the card is a good idea, though I can't really see myself carrying one. Lately I've just been trying to play my differences as personality quirks, and if someone thinks I'm weird, I'm ok with that, because that's just who I am.

I don't think the card is an apology, nor do I think it encourages inappropriate behavior (though I admit, I can see it as an SNL sketch. Too bad Tina Fey is gone, or it might have made a pretty funny one!).

BTW, can someone explain the "Uncle Tom" thing?



Tequila
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24 Apr 2008, 3:37 am

I wouldn't carry around a card like that; it's akin to apologising for who I am - especially as most people here are braindead Neanderthals anyway. Why should I admit that I have a problem in public to the likes of them?



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24 Apr 2008, 6:28 am

I think the card is a good idea, if you're in, say, a meltdown in the middle of the street. Or if you look confused and lost and just need time to recover.

Because if someone cares or feels threatened just by looking at you... they might call security or the police.


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FrogGirl
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27 Aug 2009, 10:06 am

I am thinking of getting some, but I would not get the 'one -sizse- fits-all' cards. I would want to adjust it to say what I want, and how Aspergers affects me. I would only hand them out in situations where I am trying the best that I can to stay calm, and resolve a situation without freaking out, but at times, a situation is more than I can handle, and I don't have words at those meltdown moments that would be appropriate, and the last thing I need is someone to panic and call the authorities on me when all I need to do is get out of that situation and calm down, without someone following me, throwing a million questions at me, or worse yet, try to restrain me.



Maggiedoll
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27 Aug 2009, 1:14 pm

equinn wrote:
As for the card, [..] I disagree. It encourages inappropriate behavior by excusing it with a card. I think this is bizarre. I actually think it's comical and might earn space on SNL if someone were to write up a proposal and submit it. Autism is a hot topic right now!

I think you missed the point. The card isn't like something you show to everybody you interact with.. it's not an excuse for everything you do.. It's mainly for people who are likely to have meltdowns and become nonverbal, or partially nonverbal, not be able to express the problem, etc. There are actually medicalert bracelets for autism. http://www.medicalert.org/Main/ConditionsAutism.aspx I think it's a combined thing with the Autism Society's Safe and Sound campaign. http://www.autism-society.org/site/Page ... feandsound If you start to have a meltdown and you need somewhere quiet to calm down, if somebody calls an ambulance and they think you may have altered mental status due to blood sugar issues and tries to stick a tube of glucose in your mouth, it won't help you.. but that's what would be likely to happen. (Maryland EMS protocol is to treat altered mental status as a diabetic problem, altered mental status frequently is caused by hypoglycemia, and there aren't really any side effects to giving someone glucose. I can't speak for EMS protocol in other states, but here actually checking the blood sugar is optional and varies by county. A hypoglycemic diabetic seems crazy, but will very quickly return to seeming normal when their blood sugar comes back up.)

Point being, the card is a way to let people know what's actually going on even if you can't speak, or can't speak well enough to explain it at that time.
There was a thread about this before..



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27 Aug 2009, 1:29 pm

KingdomOfRats wrote:
who is uncle tom?


He is the title character in Uncle Tom's Cabin, the enormously influential 1852 anti-slavery novel by American author Harriet Beecher Stowe. Stowe's intent was to depict Tom as a noble person, steadfast, forgiving, by far the better man than the white slave owners who abuse him, and a perfect Christian. This sap didn't well stand the test of time, and in modern parlance to call somebody an 'Uncle Tom' means that they are disgustingly obsequious, probably self-hating, and flatter people who oppress them.



Hannikkimeka
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22 Dec 2009, 12:21 pm

I read this book 'Pretending to be Normal' too. I felt silly reading it because the title was suggesting that I'm not normal, which made me uncomfortable I think. But I actually enjoyed it and it was a good book and it was relatable.
I think these cards would be super useful, I will look into getting some, especially in situations where you get confused or don't understand someone who isn't familiar with how you behave. I live somewhere where there are often members of the public and people who could recognize me from the place I used to go to school (I am 15) hanging around and they sometimes shout words at the people who pass by and can be aggressive. I'm not certain whether they would bother to be less confrontational once they had read the card, but if they would then they might restrain themselves from acting like this towards me, which will make it less stressful when I have to leave my house to go somewhere.



22 Dec 2009, 5:13 pm

I don't need these cards, I'm too mild and I'm too good for these cards. I don't need to carry a label. I've been against it since I was 16 when I first read the book and I knew I would never carry one with me. In the past I would have my mom talk on the phone to the person I was dealing with because I didn't know the words or know how to handle the situation. I don't know if that was the AS or just my inexperience in life.



riverspark
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22 Dec 2009, 8:02 pm

I saw an example of some cards online, and tweaked them to my specific traits. They have my name, address, and phone on them, as well as contact info for my husband, my therapist at home, and my therapist in my school's town.

The cards, which I keep in my wallet, school backpack, glove compartment, etc., are intended for people like police officers, security guards, and any other "authority figures." They freak me out completely. (I could never even go near an airport these days for fear of the TSA people!) My childhood experiences left me with an extreme (and justifiable) paranoia about being accused of things I didn't do.

I have never had to use a card, but if I should ever get pulled over or get questioned by someone, I can hand one over along with my driver's license. Hopefully it would help.

I had a very bad experience with police detectives three years ago. I was so thrilled to land a job, it was going really well, and then a month later someone stole a bunch of big-ticket items and the cops thought I did it. It's a long story, but someday I will tell the whole thing on this forum. After this detective, who was a crazy man, interrogated me, and they finally let me leave, I sat in my car and started injuring myself, and my husband had to come and get me. My stress level continued to escalate, and I ended up in the emergency room a couple of weeks later. This was before my official DX and before I started carrying the cards, and I can't help but wonder if my situation could have turned out better if I had had the cards.

(Six weeks later, the cops caught the real thief in the process of burglarizing another nearby business. A search of his home turned up all of my by-then-former employer's missing items. All I got from the police dept. was a lame third-hand apology.)



obnoxiously-me
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22 Dec 2009, 8:17 pm

I've read about a psychiatrist with schizophrenia who had a similar card. I think it is a good idea, especially as mentioned; with police officers and other official people where this info could be useful.

About dyslexia: I also have it, and I wonder if it would be necessary here to carry a card for that...



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23 Dec 2009, 1:59 pm

http://www.nas.org.uk/nas/jsp/polopoly.jsp?d=522 <-you can get them here

Or print a similar thing out here: http://www.paains.org.uk/Autism/cards.htm (in fact, that's pretty much what was described in the OP)

EDIT - in fact, the police are actually using these in Yorkshire: http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/sout ... 269055.stm



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23 Dec 2009, 2:58 pm

wob182 wrote:
psmaster wrote:
Thats cool, it is a good idea, but please, type with less grammatical errors. It really bugs me when someone spells something wrong, it is just one of those quirks I have. Other than that, I think that is a good idea to have a card to hand to people instead of having to tell them yourself.



again , this is 2nd time i have to reply to my spelling problem, I have dyslexia and spelling wrong or using my gramma wrong on purpose. would you go up to disabled person and go "it really bugs me that you dont walk ? please would you get out of your wheelchair?" :?


On Purpose? No. Accidental? Debateable.

There is no way to straighten a bended coat hanger. When writing a public essay or letter for everyone, it would be wise to have someone who can proofread it for you.



CanadianRose
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23 Dec 2009, 10:08 pm

Years ago, my 92 year old grandfather had a stroke. He recovered okay, but his gait was a little off and his speech was difficult.

We made him a small card to carry which simply read, "I am recovering from a stroke which affected my speech. I appreciate your patience"

He wasn't apologizing for having a stroke. He wasn't apologizing for having slurred and garbled speech. He WAS indicating to whom he was speaking to (a salesclerk, a police officer a medical office assistant, etc) that he was not in immediate distress (someone may have thought that he was currently having a stroke).

The thing is, many people have different needs. I know of people who are hearing impaired who wear a button which states that they are hard of hearing. It reminds people to face them and speak loudly and clearly. Again, it is not an apology - it is just a way of letting others know that there is a need that is invisible, but easily managed.

My son (who is dx'd with autism) has a button that reads "I have autism. I don't talk much. If found alone, please see contact info on reverse" When he gets older, I will get him a medic alert bracelet. Apologizing - no way. Letting people know for his safety and to help people better interact with him. Absolutely!!

BTW - I am going to go out on a limb here and make a comment about the spelling/grammer and dyslexia thing.

When I am reading people's posts - I don't pay any mind at all to spelling or grammer. I respect that everyone doing their best to put their words out and want everyone to feel safe with their communication here.



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23 Dec 2009, 10:40 pm

Most of the time, unless I am really interested in the person I am speaking with, I feel like asking them to stop talking and send me an email.


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24 Dec 2009, 2:47 pm

Thundaeagle wrote:
I don't think it is apologizing. I think it is non verbal explaning.


Petty point: if it is written in words, it is verbal. (One of my grammar pet peeves is using the word, "verbal," when the word, "oral," is meant.)

Anyway, I think it is perfectly fine to use words like, "I am sorry if my behaviour makes you uncomfortable." I am not apologizing for being who I am, I am apologizing for the fact that circumstances outside of my control are infringing upon another person's comfort. Apologizing is not the same thing as accepting fault or blame.

Unfortunately the most usual circumstance where my AS gets in the way is when some random person asks me for directions or does something like hold a door for me. I am able to answer in little more than a mumble, and hardly likely to go to the extent of pulling out a card. Would be useful of people like EMTs or Police.


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24 Dec 2009, 3:02 pm

psmaster wrote:
Thats cool, it is a good idea, but please, type with less grammatical errors. It really bugs me when someone spells something wrong, it is just one of those quirks I have. Other than that, I think that is a good idea to have a card to hand to people instead of having to tell them yourself.

Not everyone is a spelling nazi like you psmaster, dyslexia is co-morbid with aspergers, and there are alot of members, including myself who are dyslexic. I think its a good idea to have a card, I have a note card I give out in second life that was made by my friend Kitten Meow that I use, and will post it later.