I used to touch objects a certain number of times which was really stressful. If I tried to stop it was much more stressful. I gradually stopped touching objects and started counting the number of words someone was saying to me. I am able to to this very skillfully but I would have little idea what the person talking to me was saying.. Also very stressful. When I am reading I also count the number of words. Sometimes I have no idea about what I read. This counting compulsion comes and goes and I have no conscious way of controlling it. It is a major pain. If I try to stop counting I become really anxious and feel that I am doomed. However, my counting does stop sometimes if I am busy doing physical things outside. I took Depakote for a short time but the side effects were too bad to continue but the counting stopped while taking it.
25 Apr 2008, 6:00 pm
