When I was in 1st grade, I was in a Montessori school where I had a teacher write in a report that I didn't live up to my potential, but I was happy with myself and I made good grades. Of course, 1st grade was my first year of school as kindergarten was mandatory where I lived and sometimes private kindergartens were hard to get into. I don't see how teachers could label kids that young.
I went to that school for part of 2nd grade and had a teacher whom my parents think was an idiot and in fact, I'd often refuse to go to school. They couldn't work out the issues we were having, such as the teacher trying to isolate me from the other kids, and the principal sided with her, so my parents transferred me to an all boys academy. I was behind when I got there because I missed alot of school, but my teacher tutored me and got me caught up and I rose to near the top of the class.
I stayed in that school for 2 more years and had some social problems, but not alot, and I had a few friends I hug out with on the playground. During 4th grade for some reason, my parents decided my sister(whom I never got along with) and I should be in the same school and since I was in an all boys school, I was the one who had to transfer out duing the middle of the year.
The new school was totally different from what I was used to. At my previous school, some students respected me because I had top grades, in the new school, I was ridiculed for it. My lack of ability to do well in sports didn't matter before while at this school, sports was everything. In addition, my sister would often get her friends to pick on me, and others joined in. My sister played in the marching band and I was almost every Friday, dragged to a football game and afterwards, my mother would pressure me to tell her how wonderful her clarinet playing was, something I refused to do. Because of all these things, I had no friends there. My parents didn't understand this, since my sister never had trouble making friends.
In addition, since the school was so sports obsessed, often for P.E. class, they'd take their athletes and work with them, while putting the rest of us to work cleaning up trash around the campus, which often caused us to miss afternoon classes. My parents complained about this and were promised it would stop, but it didn't. I also got made fun of for that as well.
Fortunately after around a year and a half(end of 5th grade), my parents took both of us out of there, even though it was more because of my sister's issues with incompetent teachers than mine. The next year I was in Catholic school, where I got some bullying, but a few kids actually started to warm up to me after a while. Most of my grades were good too, but I had a bad english teacher and didn't do well in her class. I was treated like a second class citizen there, since I wasn't Catholic or from an old money family, so I ended up leaving after one year.
In seventh grade, I was transferred to another private school, where my sister had transferred to before me. I didn't fit in sense I was in class with a bunch of students who had been kicked out of other schools, and again, my sister got her friends to pick on me like before. Of course, my parents had no clue why I had social problems. Gradewise, I had poor teachers for the most part, plus the class was always in such an uproar, that it was hard for me to do well. That was my only year there and for 8th grade, I went to public school.
8th grade was hell for me, since alot of kids picked on me. One kid started picking on me because I had a deep voice, and alot of kids, even some I had gotten along with before, all joined in. My parents didn't understand this, and insisted my problem wasn't my voice but "acting goofy," which they never explained. The harassment was so bad I couldn't handle it and my grades suffered. In addition, these kids called my home several times a day to harass me on the phone as well. I ended up not doing well, and my parents decided to punish me for the whole summer, which meant no TV, radio, or anything else. The only thing I was allowed to do was sit around and wait for my sister to decide it was time to go swimming, and I had no choice in the matter. My father actually said getting in the pool everyday was going to "build me up to where I was a human being again," which I don't quite understand. Of course, forcing me to swim was a big issue with them, that I've written about before.
I went to a private school for high school, which my parents sent me to so those kids who picked on me couldn't harass me anymore, even though they continued to by phone for almost a whole year, until my mother decided to call the parents of these kids, which put a stop to it thank goodness. High school was horrible for me as well. I was in a school with kids who had all gone to the same small group of elementary schools together, went to the same church, etc., so I was branded an outsider and treated like I wasn't welcome. In addition, I refused to go through a week of hazing known as "Freshman Hell Week," in which seniors got to degrade and humiliate freshman for a whole week by making them wear outrageous costumes, peform in front of the school, push coins down the hall with their noses, and all sorts of other humiliations I wanted no part of. What's worse is my parents actually criticized me for not doing it saying "You should have acted goofy with everybody." Makes no sense.
I spent 4 years constantly being picked on and treated like I was from another planet. My grades weren't bad, but life there overall was hell. I got picked on for things like not wanting to date, go to ball games, go to school dances, and the list goes on. I wanted to do some sort of independent study for school, so I could learn in peace and not spend my days incarcerated with moronic cellmates. I was so glad when I got out of there.
College wasn't too bad socially, except for when my sister was home. My sister finished college the same year I finished high school. She was only a year and a half older than I, but she dropped out of high school and went to college early. My parents promised me she was going off to graduate school since she was accepted to one out of state, so I wouldn't have to deal with her anymore. My sister and I clashed much of our lives, she's a petty dictator who can't stand when anyone, me especially, disobeys her or she doesn't get her way. She decided not to go away to graduate school and instead, to stay and take additional courses she'd need to get into medical school, so I was stuck dealing with her for 2 more years.
My parents and I would fight when she wanted to go to a football game, the school's spring fling concert, or a party thrown by one of her friends, and I wanted to stay home. They'd basically tell me I needed to support her because she was trying to get into medical school which was really hard, and if I didn't socialize, I'd become "warped" and unable fo function around people and have to either see a shring or be put in an asylum. The frequently threatened to do those things to me throughout my life.
When she finally did leave home, it was as I imagined. I was free to spend my time my way, and strangely enough, my parents didn't criticize me for preferring to spend Saturday night at home on my computer, ham radio, or watching Dr. Who over a college football game. They just left me alone to do my thing. Of course, when my sister came home on sick leave, that all went by the wayside and I was pretty much chained to her again, in the name of "support." I guess because she wanted to go to medical school, I wasn't allowed to have a life. That makes no sense.
My sister never had the social problems I did and neither I nor our parents understood why. After reading about AS, I began to understand.
Sorry I got so long winded, but I felt the story should be told.
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PrisonerSix
"I am not a number, I am a free man!"
01 May 2008, 12:23 pm
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