Aspie exploitation?

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I seem to get myself into positions where I'm being taken advantage of, but it's mostly due to my avoidance of conflict, which means staying in bad situations long after I'm sure I want out. Most recently, I ended up supporting a chronically underemployed neice and grandnephew who came to visit for a couple of weeks and ended up staying for years. Then she moved her disabled and psychologically abusive mother (my older sister -- she can be a lot of fun, or very toxic) in with us "just for two weeks, I promise." Just over a year later, I managed to get them all moved out. I still have trouble blaming them for taking advantage of me, although my brother says they'll just find someone else to sponge off of now.

There also seems to be a problem with the way I communicate my needs verbally. My boss always told me to just let him know when I needed help in my area, and I thought I was doing that, but he never seemed to get the idea until I hit the wall and threw a fit. Then he'd always ask me why I didn't tell him I was overstressed. I finally learned to write a formal memo whenever I have a problem, explaining the issue, offering a solution and inviting feedback. Our company has a very informal culture, but I seem to get my point across more clearly in formal writing.

Patricia

ive been exployted all my life, i use that now to judge people. when i first meet some one i let them exployt me
just see if they will, if they do then i pretend i have no idea that i know they are. once they think i have no idea
there tru self comes out. i find it the qwickest and easyist way to get to know some one. it works realy well
for me and amuses me no end.
give em an inch and they will take a mile

If you mean taken advantage of, the answer is yes.

I have been exploited/ taken advantage of quite often. What this has done is slowly erode my trust in other people.

That's why you be very obvious about it. If it's obvious to them that they're being recorded at the time, then there's nothing to be caught 'at'. The point isn't really to catch them at anything, but to make them aware that what they say is being documented. If you re-read my post, you might see that I'm not saying to actually record them, but to record yourself giving a quick summary of what was talked about, making sure that they can hear you do it.

I agree, it's not an ideal solution. In the right context it works really well, in others it's a horrible idea.

I'm a bit worried that my next suggestion may be a 'teach granny to suck eggs' statement, since you probably know more about documentation then I do, and you definately know more about your situation at work.

Have you made it clear that you have been documenting things, and that if pushed you will use it against them? That's really what I meant by 'blatent' documentation. If people aren't aware that their behaviour carries consequences, then they're not going to change their ways. It also doesn't matter how big a stick you have, if no-one believes you're going to use it.

I also want to point out that you have at least one other weapon - you are an ideas person. If engineers are consistantly going to you for ideas, then you can choose not to talk to them if you don't like their actions. I personally wouldn't be aggressive about it, I'd just mention that friendship is a two-way street. Point out what you believe they stole, and simply say that if they aren't willing to credit you, why should you continue to help them? After all, you're only a lowly technician - how could your ideas possibly be of use to them?

What ever threat you make, be sure to carry through with it if your demands are not addressed. If you're a whore, at least be a classy one, who gets some respect.

a few times. I remmeber people tricking me Freshman year in HS to taking the garbage for a table I went to...

thankfully SWIM doesn't drag me into SWIM's activities, so I'm not afraid of SWIM screwing me over and SWIM won't drag me into anything if SWIM does anything incriminating/gets caught, SWM stated it several times (hey! SWIM wouldn't be my best friend if SWIM did ). This is the few times I'm with SWIM and SWIM's conducting those activites, I ignore it. Really glad I don't have to do any concious-bending (well more like fear-drenched) decisions.

EDIT: SWIM=Someone Who Isn't Me