Being treated like a child as an adult.

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equinn
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08 May 2008, 7:59 pm

On a more serious note--yes, my son is treated child-like and I find some people speak to him as if he were deaf. These are people that don't understand him, I suppose.

Others tease him in different ways. He carries on--blissfully indifferent.



sinsboldly
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10 May 2008, 11:13 pm

oh, lord, don't call them a pervert to their face unless you want the wrath of holy hell poured over you like hot tar!

I remember telling one Dr that I was not comfortable with him, and I wanted a woman in the room during the examination and he said "what did I think this was, the United States of Islam? did I want my HUSBAND in the room with us, too? Then he looked at my chart and said, oh, not married, no wonder you aren't comfortable with men! and he walks out the door.

about an hour later some young woman poked her face in the door and asked me if I could get dressed, as they needed the room for the next patient.

Merle



sinsboldly
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10 May 2008, 11:17 pm

equinn wrote:
On a more serious note--yes, my son is treated child-like and I find some people speak to him as if he were deaf. These are people that don't understand him, I suppose.

Others tease him in different ways. He carries on--blissfully indifferent.


with maturity comes realization. Self confidence is a good cushion when reality sets in.

Merle



Thomas1138
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10 May 2008, 11:35 pm

If it makes you feel any better, I treat all 19-year-olds like kids.



Shelby
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11 May 2008, 3:13 am

I didn't want to answer this thread because it's a touchy topic. All the time man....all the time. I'm 29 and I'm actually the manager of my department. But my staff boss me around like I'm a child. I've been called immature so many times. It sucks....seriously.



Anniemaniac
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11 May 2008, 5:48 am

AnnieRie; what you said makes alot of sense. I've had other college tutors who knew, like he did, about my issues, but they never responded in such a way. They always had helpful advice to offer me. Perhaps he meant well with what he said, but it was at the least, a very careless answer and did nothing but make me uncomfortable.



HereComeTheLizards
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11 May 2008, 6:45 am

Unfortunately, many people cannot grasp the difference between a mental condition and mental retardation. If you seem to be deficient in one mental area, they assume you are deficient in all of them.

If someone patronises me, or exhibits exagerrated and unwarranted concern about my competence or ability to cope, I want to stab them.


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Danielismyname
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11 May 2008, 7:47 am

No.



thatone
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11 May 2008, 7:57 am

I guess I really need to do some work understanding Aspies because he didn't seem like he was talking to you like a child at all. I can't even see which part of his comment you are upset with. To me he was just making a harmless joke. Was it the 'old fart' comment that made you upset?



Anniemaniac
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11 May 2008, 8:47 am

thatone wrote:
I guess I really need to do some work understanding Aspies because he didn't seem like he was talking to you like a child at all. I can't even see which part of his comment you are upset with. To me he was just making a harmless joke. Was it the 'old fart' comment that made you upset?


No, it was the way with which it was said. Exaggerated tone of voice, exaggerated movements, exaggerated facial expression, the hands on the hips, the comment. It was the same way I see adults treating young children all the time.

What I was talking about at the time was an important issue for me and I feel that the way he responded to it was inappropriate. He should have addressed it, even if only very breifly.

He may very well have been joking, but coming from a college tutor, who knew I had Asperger's, as well as social phobia, he should understand that unpredictable social situations, like his, make me uneasy. I'm not used to someone suddenly becoming loud and animated over, what I thought, was a perfectly reasonable, and fairly important comment. It put me on the spot. I wasn't expecting his reaction at all. I was expecting him to offer advice, or just a simple nod of understanding, even if he really didn't understand. I didn't know how to respond to his reaction at all, so, I then DID mess up socially by stumbling over words trying to explain myself because I didn't know how to react.



9CatMom
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11 May 2008, 9:58 am

Oddly enough, in most areas, no. In areas related to school and work, I am treated very adult. I do some things that are remarkably dumb at home. I don't know why I'm so organized on the job and so stupid at other things.



craola
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11 May 2008, 10:09 am

I actually have the opposite problem, people talk to me like an adult but I am a lot younger than my 20 years suggest. I've tried to explain I'm shy etc. and I get 'don't be so silly, there's nothing wrong with you really, you just need experience'. Its worst when people tell jokes, especially dirty ones and I sit there like a lemon thinking 'I told you so'.



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11 May 2008, 11:34 am

oh yeah...all the time. I tend to remain silent a lot, which can help.

One thing; being 'old' doesn't really feel any different that being 'young'. You find it hard to deal with people treating you in an 'old' way. Inside, you feel the same as you did when you're in your 20s. So it can be a surprise that someone reminds you you're no spring chicken...;)



sinsboldly
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11 May 2008, 12:02 pm

pakled wrote:
oh yeah...all the time. I tend to remain silent a lot, which can help.

One thing; being 'old' doesn't really feel any different that being 'young'. You find it hard to deal with people treating you in an 'old' way. Inside, you feel the same as you did when you're in your 20s. So it can be a surprise that someone reminds you you're no spring chicken...;)


LOL
I looked both ways and saw no traffic, so I walked against the light. Two black leathered clad spikey haired young men watched me walk against the light and one said "well, if the old lady can jaywalk, why can't we?" It took me some time to realize they were referring to ME.

just a rebel at heart, I guess.

Merle



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11 May 2008, 2:34 pm

I think the whole problem started when you brought up you have problems getting along with people your own age. In a college interview or any interview you should never ever admit to have any kind of problems or else it leaves you looking lesser than the one doing the interview. Being too honest and too blunt is the same as shooting yourself in the foot.



Anniemaniac
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11 May 2008, 2:36 pm

Ticker; He already knew about my problems. I was supposed to have an Asperger's support worker present at the interview to help me and to further discuss my problems, but they "couldn't find him", so, I was left to do the interview alone.

I suppose though, that saying something like "I have difficulty with my peers" might suggest the wrong thing.... :S I never thought about that.