Do we get very upset easily?

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Joined: 23 Mar 2008
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10 May 2008, 11:07 am

Aspies (and autistics in general) do not deal well with sudden changes (we need extra time to psychologically process changes in the sensory landscape). This includes not just our routines, but the things we expect to happen. So anytime somebody throws a curveball into your life, whether it's a major alteration like being forced to move to a new home, or even something that might seem insignificant to an NT, like somebody moving your chair to a different spot, these things can trigger a meltdown, or at least start the chain reaction of anxiety that leads to one.

So do we seem more emotional than others? Of course we do, we live in a constant state of low-level anxiety from sensory overstimulation. That can lead to a state of high anxiety very easily. It's not so much a mood swing that appears out of nowhere, it's more like an endless feedback loop that causes a system failure.

slowmutant
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10 May 2008, 11:49 am

Like my Dad, I am an over-reacter. Forever and always shall I be an over-reacter.

I do have a temper and am easily annoyed. Sometimes I get angry or even furious when the situation really doesn't call for it. After a verbal blowup you can cool off, reconcile and apologize. But when anger gets phsyical, you do things that can't be taken back. Not violence against another person per se, more like damage done to things and objects. There's nothing more therapeutic than breaking things. Oh how I love to break things! At 29 years old, breaking things is a less acceptable behaviour than it was at age 8.

SabbraCadabra
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10 May 2008, 12:47 pm

Greentea wrote:

I think a lot of times we get upset about different things from what NTs get upset about.

That's what my girlfriend says...she says I always get upset at the wrong things, and I'm always fine with things that would upset normal people :roll:

Josie
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10 May 2008, 12:59 pm

I get upset easily all the time. I just got upset last night when before I was ok with it..
It could be because I am sensitive.

Speckles
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10 May 2008, 3:04 pm

2ukenkerl wrote:

catspurr wrote:

2ukenkerl wrote:

I seem to but ONLY because so many push my limits, and they push them SO MUCH! If I did the same thing with an NT, THEY would get JUST as annoyed or, perhaps, even MORE so!

That is how I feel too! If someone...anyone with any type of brain were pushed around alot, defense mechanisms would come up. I sometimes wonder if perhaps because some of the people who can't relate aren't pushed around as much or treated differently if they really can't understand and make it out as though I'm over-reacting when perhaps, they have just not experienced it enough to understand it.

Exactly! I would have STARVED, LONG ago if I didn't try to ignore the handling of food, etc... Still, that is no reason for them to do things like clean with their gloves on, and just continue preparing food like they are still somewhat sterile, or for a person to stand like a foot away from me, like yesterday, or a person to discuss trivilalities(Which is sometimes merely inane banter) with me when I have important work to do. Those SAME people may later yell at me if I don't have things done that THEY kept me from doing!

One person touched me three times in the past month. That is probably, outside of shaking hands, more than everyone else, that I know, has touched me in the past 3 YEARS put together! Yet she KNOWS I hate that! I still don't understand why she does that. She even touched my food a few times. It is like she wants to talk about everything, and can't without touching it.

These are NOT unreasonable limits. That is part of the reason why they upset me so. If someone is pushed, and ends up knocking you down, and you get scratched, OH WELL... THAT is nothing to be upset with that person about. If they HIT you(even slightly), or nudge you out of the way without any provocation, intentionally, that is totally different. If a math student has trouble with x=2+(4/x-9)+7+(6/3) it is not as big a deal as if they have a problem with x=2+2.

I also think that, due to the fact that we are often stressed about things we aren't supposed to be stressed about, feelings get repressed, leading to something like Post-Tramatic Stress disorder. Whenever something really good happens to me, or when I feel really safe, I'll sometimes just randomly feel scared or sad, and when I'm by myself I'll have a meltdown for no reason. This very much resembles PTS - emotions that weren't safe to feel at the time get buried, only emerging when the subconcious decides it's safe.

Assuming I'm right, it's possible we may over-react to something not because it's all that bad, but because it resembles something that was that bad in the past that we now feel safe enough to process.

BAP22
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10 May 2008, 4:23 pm

velodog wrote:

I think it is. I do it less now than when I was younger. I have found that by taking a wait and see approach sometimes it is really not a problem at all, or is less than I initially thought.

Yeah, I do that too. Usually, as someone else said, i'm pretty numb about things (like when cheated on), but mostly I get upset at little things and I've found if I hold off on any reaction I'll realize its minor.

It's kind of annoying that I get pissed off by little things that I know I should ignore and big things i just shrug off, or just makes me depressed.

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10 May 2008, 5:01 pm

it depends on the environment, when its the same person messing with me, askign repeated question it's quicker.

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10 May 2008, 5:07 pm

Quote:

This is something my boyfriend told me. He says us aspies get very upset about something because that was what Laine Holliday Willey said in her book.

ARggg! NTs always doing appeals to authority! I am so frigging tired! I am mad at this, really mad!!

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10 May 2008, 7:23 pm

2ukenkerl wrote:

I seem to but ONLY because so many push my limits, and they push them SO MUCH! If I did the same thing with an NT, THEY would get JUST as annoyed or, perhaps, even MORE so!

As a group you do get upset easily and so often and for so long! It can be a minefield!

You are wise, Zukenkerl. It is because you have such small limits that you get fired up. Most NT's have a greater range of emotions as a buffer.

One of my grandsons in particular has anger issues. He is only 9 and he is learning to identify where he is on a scale of 1 to 10 and take preventative measures before the outburst eg withdrawal.

Robyn

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I think there must be some chronic learning disability that is so prevalent among NT's that it goes unnoticed by the "experts". Krex

Spokane_Girl

10 May 2008, 8:20 pm

In guess getting very upset is an AS thing. I have gotten upset over nothing and then I feel like a jerk. I used to do it more often but I do it less now after learning to not over react.

I came home last fall from work and I woke my boyfriend up by getting all mad because he had moved the computer from one side of the room to the other side and I hated it. I liked it when it was on the table, not on top of the small dress and a small chair was holding the keyboard and mouse. Then I felt like a jerk for waking him up and yelling at him and making him move the table over to the computer and having him put it on the table.

2ukenkerl
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10 May 2008, 10:32 pm

nannarob wrote:

2ukenkerl wrote:

I seem to but ONLY because so many push my limits, and they push them SO MUCH! If I did the same thing with an NT, THEY would get JUST as annoyed or, perhaps, even MORE so!

Well, I HAVE seen some NTs over react also. It has even been spoken about on this board a LOT! NOT as an issue of "over reacting", but as one of demands placed on autistics and the reaction to lack of followthrough. In fact, many things some here request are so small.

Look at how blackcat wanted to just act as smart as she is(and her mother said she was "acting white"), and she wanted to sleep a certain way in her OWN room and her OWN bed, and her mother said she was CRAZY and for THAT, he mother told her to get lost. There have been others with similar stories.

My mother AND father BOTH over reacted like that though EITHER would tell you I was a GREAT kid! They BOTH have said I was well behaved. BOTH say they are happy with me, and think I am VERY smart, and BOTH call me periodically to ask MY advice, or about things.

Yet even THEY flew off the handle rather frequently. It is ASTOUNDING that I am still sane and nice.

Anniemaniac
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11 May 2008, 9:10 am

In a word; yes.

I can get upset over tiny little things. For example, making a new meal that I haven't cooked before can cause me to meltdown. I'm not sure if that's due to the change (I usually eat the same thing every night) or just the stress of trying to synchronise the new foods so that they all cook well, and in time.

My thread on "Being treated like a child as an adult" is a good example of how easily upset I can get. I'm beginning to realise that maybe I got offended over nothing.

thatone
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11 May 2008, 9:21 am

This applies to my bf as well. Gets extremely upset over things and I think it becomes worse as it goes on because he feels he is not being understood.

craola
Toucan
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11 May 2008, 10:00 am

Yes.
But for me its over different things than normal.
I've never cried when anyones died, not even my Nana or my Godfather.
Yesterday we were in the middle of town and my mum told me some Blue Iguanas had been killed and I couldn't stop.
I also can get upset by what people say, I gave my mum a kiss today at the carboot sale and this man said 'Can I have one?' and laughed and my mum laughed but it really scared and upset me so I was flapping about and my mum held my hand. I also had to ask the price of some buttons which were in bags and she said 50p and I asked whether that was each button and she laughed at me which made me flap my fingers some more.

Normal things don't phase me but other things will.

Bubbles117
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11 May 2008, 12:27 pm

Not all of us...well maybe when at a young age...I rarely get upset now days.

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