*"Single-Sex Environments Advantageous to AS?"*

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I have a small combonation of people I get along with well, and they're both boys and girls. I can't honestly say my ASD makes one difference or another in such an enviornment, but I think my anxiety would be worse and my ASD would become more apparent.

I don't think I learned anything in school, on or off the curriculum, that was of any use in later life.

I preferred a mixed-sex environment because it was more playful and relaxed. In my all-boys class, the atmosphere was extremely aggressive and antagonistic.

Ok, I'm hearing that a lot of women aspies are driven up the wall by all female situations, and some male aspies find all male groups aggressive.

And I believe it.

But perhaps that is only because those environments, chiefly that of school, but also other institutions, were imposed on them. Noone had any choice.

Perhaps the people who are the most aggressive and aggravating in both single-sex groups are those who crave/miss/need the company of the other sex, not just socially but at work or in school. Perhaps if people were allowed to choose, to decide between single or mixed sex environments, that would eliminate many/most of the problems?

On the other hand I don't know if I would have had the sense to make the right decision for me in the long term, ( before I was 26-27 anyway), any more than I knew to say no to unprotected sex at 19 , ie: I didn't!

When I was in the coffee, sugar, and cheese and wheat stimulated bipolar state of late-teenage/early twenties, of excitement and rebellious defiance of parents and all forms of authority I wanted the thrill of sexual adventure, if not the actual sex.

Single-sex environments would have seemed terribly old-fashioned and boring in comparison to workplaces buzzing with possibilities because mixed-sex. ( and university where i spent/wasted four years on sexual adventuring with the help of alcohol, marijuana, and odd other substances )

Gay/lesbian/bisexuality interesting minority perspective on this subject: ( ... welcome other people with the gay angle on this issue, please ... )

I actually found that being lesbian ( which I was actively for about 4 years) spoiled single-sex/ women-only environments for me. And am now wondering whether this is because I suddenly found the non-verbal communication in them too complicated because of the sexual agenda present; got overloaded and shut down, as I now realise I do in my re-sensitised state in mixed environments.

Last edited by ouinon on 17 May 2008, 8:28 am, edited 1 time in total.

Sounds almost like you would prefer my last choice also. NT girls can be cute(in actions), and some cute(in looks) girls ARE NT. Oh well, such is life. From a learning and social standpoint, AS are probably better. You know, even NT males prefer females with an AS mentality! IRONIC, but TRUE!

When I was about 30 my ability to form relationships reached an all-time low. At the same time, I found a job in the construction industry, a mostly single-sex environment that made me feel safer and helped me to build relationship skills.

Now that I've moved on, I feel I would benefit from being in a mixed-sex environment.

That is interesting; that you experienced a single-sex environment as explicitly less stressful and/or less demanding.

That is the sort of thing I was wondering about; whether for people with non-verbal communication difficulties mixed-sex situations might be more stressful, demanding, etc, ( because the NVC/B is more than doubly complex), than single-sex ones, and thus represent a serious disadvantage for/discrimination against AS people, especially when for other reasons ( related to AS, Sensory Integration Disorders/differences for example, or not) personal stress-levels might be up.

Mixed-sex workplaces and schools/apprenticeships are a very recent development in the history of western civilisations, ( apart from commerce/trade which has generally been carried out by people with excellent NVC skills anyway, and certain kinds of family business ), just the last 60-80 years in most jobs, and schools, which in another 100 years people might look back to as a misguided policy, based on the assumption that everybody would be able to function equally well in mixed-sex environments as in single-sex ones.

I went to an all girls school in the 2-3rd grade and co-ed everywhere else. Looking back, I was probably an outcast in either situation. As in neither really did well for me. Due to my supression of self-expression as a child was highly because I was very very shy, so it did really make a difference in the long term. Now if Im placed in all girl envirenments, it drives me crazy and I dont think an all female envirenment wouldve been good for me. I found I favor the presence of males better. Besides, being with females is sometimes confusing as in I will do something wrong and I have no idea I even did it. That happens a lot less with males. In general I like perfer the company of males(that dont have big egos) and nonfeminine women. My two closest friends are male.

I'll vote for "mixed" because the thrill/lure of that which one is kept away from (one or the other gender) can add so much stress, so that when one does have opportunity for access, one is in such a high-anxiety state one can barely function. At least, having people of both genders around gives me chance to get used to both (not just one or the other).
Was emotionally bullied/taunted by both girls & boys in my adolescent years, so neither category seem like particularly nice/safe people, generally.

Do think people should have choice about what sort of "social" environment they want to operate in-but one hits the problem of discrimination (in workplace, housing, etc.). Haven't an answer for that conundrum.

Agree also that it's all well & good to have choices-yet one may only in retrospect realize what would've been "a good idea", the right thing for oneself-and that one made poor decision.

I went to an all boys school for part of grade 2, 3, and part of 4, while coed everywhere else. I admit I wasn't the most popular person in the boys' school, but I wasn't picked on as much there. There was more freedom to be who I wanted to be there, plus some of the students, even the ones who occasionally picked on me, respected the fact I was an honor roll student, as did the teachers.

In coed enviornments, I faced ridicule for my lack of sports ability an interest, and good grades weren't worthy of respect, only ridicule. Not to mention the hell I went through dealing with some girls in 8th and 9th grade who wouldn't leave me alone, as well as boys who picked on me because they thought I had a funny voice(It was very deep) and didn't want to go to games, dances, and the like. I think I should have been free to choose my own activities and been free of harassment.

There's a site that deals with the topic of single sex schools quite well, and I believe exactly what it says.

http://www.singlesexschools.org

Go there and read what they have to say, it will open your eyes.

The difference between male and female communication techniques is a problem for all people, not just those with AS.

An all-female environment? What sort of a snake pit do you want to throw me into?!

*hides*