Do you tend not to one to get involved in arguments?

Post Reply New Topic

There's the sensory & emotional content that often (not always) go along with arguing: raised voices, moving rapidly, curse words, "dissing of each other's personal" and escalation of these. Then there's the cognitive content of each side/faction/stance: incompatible, unresolvable differences in opinion/interpretation. Either/both cause me anxiety.

In most instances, I'm frightened of arguments-am quite conflict avoidant & risk averse (including social interactions). Am not talented enough to be a persuader. OTOH, don't believe in being an unthinking obedient "yes-man"/doormat, either. Am not looking to be persuaded.

If I participate at all in the conversation, I try to get around the "no-win" situation by saying I can see points from multiple sides/aspects-expressing my ambivalence, my contradictory (in myriad ways) reactions. Have plenty of internal conflict & stress on regular basis (such is my mental construct), haven't the fortitude/toughness/quick wit to engage in arguments with other people (which are even "higher-stakes" & more likely to lead to disasters of misunderstanding).

My mom says I would make a good lawer because I'm so argumentive. My dad says that I would argue with a dead man.

I've been told too I would make a good lawyer because I also like to argue and the fact I ask too many questions.

I don't like arguments about human beings or their interactions. On the other hand, I like to debate ideas. People and their motivations confuse me, but I can follow a line of reasoning, and I'm good at finding holes in theories. It usually makes the other person unhappy, like a failed idea makes him or her less valuable in some way. Most people assume all criticism is a personal attack, then I'm drawn into an argument I didn't want, and people think I'm being a jerk and intentionally pissing them off. So I try and keep my mouth shut even when people are wrong.