Perfectionism as a barrier to posting or talking?

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I find it extremely difficult posting here, not because of perfectionism though. it's just extremely hard to write anything at all. it's like complete overload whenever I try to write, I know what I want to say but as soon as I struggle with the mechanics of writing it goes, it's like blinding whiteness.... when I do read back what I've managed to write it is completely different to what I meant, so much so that often I can't relate to what I wrote, then I have to edit it or delete it and try again, just making me more overloaded, I can't describe it

so many autistics say writing is easier than talking, for me it's not... I'm a 'selective mute' when it comes to talking, but writing is much harder.

My spelling and grammar is generally perfect. I don't preview my posts except to ensure that the HTML tags work properly. What is most difficult, is reading the posts of other people who do not care about the spelling or grammar of their posts. I correct their spelling/grammar everytime I encounter said flaws in posts, including quotations of their posts. E.g. Ghosthunter's posts, ack!

I'm a selective mute in both talking and writing, also. If it isn't employed as a means of information exchange, then it serves no purpose. I find that many of the threads on the forums, have no real information exchange, except small bits of information amongst generally superfluous writings. So, I don't often participate in threads of a personal nature.

I always preview my posts just to look - don't know why.
I'm proud of my spelling ability, one of the few things I'm reasonably good at.
Like danlo, I'm constantly picking up on other people's errors. It sort of takes away the pleasure of reading the post if all I'm doing is picking out spelling mistakes! This is not a dig at others, however, I get rather annoyed that I'm not more tolerant.
The worst is when I see spelling and grammatical errors in public, on signs. I think the spelling should be checked thoroughly, as these displays are examples to others.

ah, you've just reminded me of something that happened about a year ago. the local newpaper made the radical decision to change it's font style and advertised the fact all over the city. the slogan only had three wodrs and yet they couldn't get it right! it read

"changed, hasn't it."

it made me want to scream everytime i saw it!

Have you tried pasting it into a different program, checking it, changing the font size, checking it again, etc...? I think if you miss a mistake multiple times it's due to visual scanning patterns, and if you force the text to realign the offending construct should shift to where you'll notice it.



That's because the most recent post can be edited without being marked as such. That's why I don't bother to preview; I can usually correct errors before anyone else has posted.



I've found I can ignore errors if I want, but then I start to absorb them. I'd rather be slightly distracted and retain a good sense of spelling

Only thing you need to be concerned about is wether the message is understandable and easy to read. I've noticed alot of people trying to use good english (like some academic), but they just come across as naff and tedious on a forum like this. I prefer people to write like they would speak in a casual situation; it's easier to read and messages tend to be shorter, so it's a more efficient style.

Many of us do write very formally even when conversing informally. It is one of the characteristics of Asperger's syndrome, after all.

If I can make my brain think quickly enough, I do tend to talk a fair bit like I write.

Though it depends on if I'm doing an accent, which I frequently use as well.

I'm not sure if it is a characteristic that isn't easy to overcome. Most people with AS i have come across don't seem to have this 'problem'. In fact, I've listened to many people on the autisitic spectrum (check out my voice chatroom 'wrongplanet-as' on paltalk http://www.wrongplanet.net/modules.php?name=Forums&file=viewtopic&t=6525 ), and if they just transferred their spoken words to text then it would be easier to read and far less tedious than some posts on this forum.
Many do not 'write very formally' because they choose not to, or it becomes second nature for them not to because of practice/repetition, and most posts on this forum are testament to that. I suppose for some people it is more difficult.

I don't consider the way I write to be too formal. I just write as I think. I don't believe the way I write is too complicated to be understood, and I've only had trouble understanding the flow of a few people's thinking here. So what's the basis of your complaint about formal language here?

I didn't specifically say you, but I guess since you are getting defensive you are aware that you might be one of the 'too formal' types. Neither did I say it is a bad thing per se; I said that it is less easy to read and tedious, points which I made in my previous post which you chose not to address. If people want to write like that, fine, but I think they come across relatively weird, to say the least heh.

I think there should be a club for those of us feeling this way. I post because I'm advised to interact, but if I hadn't been told I'd be elsewhere. I never manage to say what is intended and edit and re-post and..... On the other hand writing is easier than talking for me. Unless I've sampled the products of the Caledonian Brewey, then I can bore for Britain.

Well, when I said, "I don't believe the way I write is too complicated to be understood," I meant I can't see why clear, concise writing would be found "less easy to read and tedious." Honestly, I have more trouble understanding ghosthunter's and techstepgener8tion's (and a few other people's) writing simply because their word choice can be a little too metaphorical or allusional (I can't deny the contemporistic poetic style of t3chstep's writing, though). It's not because they use words that are too big.

I am just curious how anyone's writing here could be considered too dense.

I look my posts over, but I don't do it obsessively.

Neanthumain, when you say 'clear, concise writing' you are veering off the main point I was making, but I shall adress it anyway. I think you'd agree that scientific journal papers, where the writing imo is clear and concise can be dificult to read? If not, then I think many people would disagree with you. Besides, you can be concise and clear without having to be 'too formal' and grammatically perfect.

Some users comments may be "little too metaphorical or allusional" to you, and that's fine. We're all on a spectrum, and clearly you then find it more difficult to decipher meanings, perhaps giving you, and people like you the reason to write the way you do. (btw, this is the first time i'm labelling you as one of them. I think you are a mild form of this 'too formal' type; i hope you don't take it personally, that's just my opinion, which it appears you are aware of yourself.)

My main point addresses the importance of context. I have to elaborate on this, since you failed to address it in your previous comment, and I suspect you missing it might be connected to your writing style. Imagine everyone in a small adult group is behaving in a childlike way, perhaps flirting, but then someone arrives (or may have been in the group but didn't say anything) and talks in a adult/academic manner, not because he is authorized to do so, or he holds some position where a stance like that would make sense, but because he just completely fails to grasp the context which he finds himself. He/she may be expressing oneself eloquently, but to everyone else she/he will come across like an idiot. (You may want to look up on transactional analysis http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Transactional_analysis). On this forum I think most threads/posts have a informal and easygoing flavour, that occasionally gets interrupted by some of these 'formal types' . granted, there are threads where formal discussion is called for, even in threads where initially the discussion starts off informal etc, but I'm focusing on threads where it is not necessay.

Much fretful fidgeting before daring to choose my words. Confident of spelling, if not then I'll substitute a word I'm sure I can spell. Nervous mostly about vulnerability & lack of control, misunderstandings in communication that ultimately lead to disaster-which all could've been averted if only I'd kept quietly to myself.