My cat in one of those funny cat pics

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Very c ute! It is good to have an aspergers version of those pictures.

Perhaps I should make one of my cat. He is so photogenic.

so you get to be rude because I didn't "get" your sarcasm? I must be younger than 10, SORRY!

Heh, oh dear. A silly thread may be getting serious over a silly response to the silly thread itself. Huh.

We all know this forum is rife with sarcasm-challenged individuals. Sometimes, I'm one of them. LOL. Best to have a sense of humor about it.

Oh brother look at your post that I was replying too - I used the same format. If you consider that rude, than why would you have used it to tell me the cat was not shaved? Other than the fact I chose not to yell at you for being stupid, as you chose to do to me. And face it, considering someone is being serious when they say you shaved your cat to make seat cushion is doing nothing more than telling them you think they have an iq of 60 of lower









Yep, though it seems to me that its the new NT parents visiting the site that have the most trouble dealing with things like this which is why you have to warn them or they'll huff off after starting one thread

Typically if you see you can assume that the person is making a joke

if you are going to get upset over posts you find offensive. you should stay away from this site for at least a bit. After all its peopled almost entirely by aspies and if you are upset every time you think someone is being rude you'll never be able to read a reply to you without getting angry

Last edited by Triangular_Trees on 20 Jul 2008, 5:26 am, edited 2 times in total.

While we are discussing cats, can someone explain to me why my cat disappears any time I try to make my bed. I'm thinking that he hides because the blankets bite and scratch me every time I try to spread them out and he doesn't want to get hurt by them. I took a picture of it once, but still couldn't find anything in it that was unusual. Can you find anything in the photo that would explain why my blankets don't like to participate in making the bed?

I think your bed coverings and your cat are cooperating in a conspiracy against you. They look very cozy together.

are you asking me to stay away from the site? I wasn't being rude in my post, i thought perhaps you hadn't seen a sphynx cat before. I thought I came at it with humor and a little humility, hence the "i really want one", (smile)
you are asking another aspie, yeah I'm an aspie, to "stay away from the site", i'm sorry but i think that is lame. And why should I assume a means someone is joking? why do i have to understand YOUR internet shorthand just to "get a site". I didn't say you were stupid. I scanned over my post several times and NEVER saw the words: Stupid, Dumb, Idiot, Dunce, dim, thick, unintelligent, slow-minded, etc. and being the person who wrote it, I know i wasn't even thinking it! You assume I thought you were stupid because i posted with BOLD letters and simple child-like phrases. I understand you are some kind of "higher up" here on wrong planet, but really, can't you have tolerance for a simple misunderstanding? Asking someone not to visit the site, even for a little while, is mean. I just didn't get YOUR brand of sarcasm. And by the way are you insinuating that my IQ is lower than 60 and perhaps I am stupid? Why would you do that? you use damning statements like that and you make people feel small. why? I just don't understand, all of this, over a couple of joke posts? about a really cool LOL cat? I'm not even upset, just confused. Luckily i have thick skin, and wont be leaving the site or "not visiting".

What a beautiful cat!! !! !!

Catz prefurrz red bedcoverz?



(this is my parents' cat Sid, ensuring I have no lie-in. Raaarh!)

If you thought that my reply was rude enough to greatly upset you, as it appears to have than it is in your best interest to stay away from the site. I responded to you in the same way everyone else here likely would. If you are going to get angry at an aspie responding to you in an aspie way than posting on this site is going to be detrimental for you



Because the wink sign isn't my internet shorthand. Its a universal shorthand when communicating with someone online. Its called netiquette. Just as a wink indicates you are joking, writing :'-( means that you are crying

In fact there is a thread somewhere on here where it was decided writing the wink was a good way to tell everyone that you were joking - after all its a bit long to write "and by the way this is a joke"





Then why do you keep yelling? The ! when criticising someone or telling them they are wrong is the same as if you wrote in all caps. Its extremely rude in itself. Again thats not my personal belief, its a universal one for using the internet

.

No. First of all you didn't use bold letters (have you just started using the internet? because from this post you don't have a basic understanding of internet communication). You used capital letters. Which like the exclamation mark means you are yelling at me - its called shouting. And its extremely rude to do when talking to someone online.

This is bold

THIS IS CAPS LOCK/SHOUTING




Nope I'm not higher up. I responded in the same way just about anyone here would have had you been treating them as rudely



Look at how upset you are getting over these replies - not to mention how the post of yours I was responding to was written in a way that denotes a condescending manner. It isn't mean to tell you to stay away from here. Its kind - you are going to be angry and frustrated every time you visit this site until you get a grasp of the aspie conversation style - as well as a grasp of what writing in different ways implies on the internet. If I said "you wore a dress?" you couldn't very well tell whether I was being positive or negative. If I said "YOU WORE A DRESS" than you can tell I meant to insult you



Its not sarcasm, Its called humor. Even if you didn't get the shaved part, and missed the , I would think the "to make seat cushions for the chairs you were building" would clue someone in that I wasn't being serious



Nope I was pointing out that that didn't apply to me as they way you were writing indicated that you thought it did. Though I'm beginning to realize the problem here is that you aren't aware of what writing in a certain way denotes when you are online



Then you need to stop getting angry. Getting offended is okay but you shouldn't be getting so upset its likely to ruin your day

Last edited by Triangular_Trees on 20 Jul 2008, 2:32 pm, edited 2 times in total.

Here you should look at this page for what emoticons mean. The winking is under teasing mischievous

http://www.windweaver.com/emoticon.htm

you are so far off because as i said before i'm not upset. i can calmly asses that you are kind of mean no biggie!
thank you for the internet lesson.

Oh yes I'm so mean that I try to help keep you from getting upset like this the next time your improper use of netiquette results in your telling someone in no uncertain terms that you think they are a complete idiot and am giving you information that will help keep that from happening in the future

Why next thing you know I'll be so mean that I'll buy a homeless man food. Or help a lost little boy find his mommy. I'm just such a horrible person.


*If you don't want people to react like your treating them as if they were 5 years old than your going to have to stop writing in a way that shows you feel they are 5 years old. Thats why you need to learn netiquette

Hey, let's not be easily hurt here and let our insecurities get to us.

This is supposed to be a fun thread, not a dramatic one.

I know it's hard to separate the two when you're struggling with yourself, but self-awareness is huge. Question why people get to you when they do. What is it that you feel about yourself that triggers feelings when other people do things to you? (Obviously, this needs to become group therapy-like. LOL.) And how can you change the way you feel about yourself so that this doesn't happen in the future?

This is getting out of hand. But it isn't all that uncommon to happen when you have 2 aspies together.

Onibunny, your first reply to TT was rude even though you didn't intend it to be. Your second reply was even worse and is called flaming. Yes TT should have worded his statement differently, but you have to consider that he was responding to your post, which was rude and insulting to him. When an aspie responds like that they are often saying "these are the facts of the situation. Why would you consider them to be any different?" not "you are an idiot" Alot of aspies don't insinuate anything - for some its even impossible to do.

I strongly encourage you to take up TT's suggestion of learning what emoticons mean and how to engage in proper netiquette. Elsewise you are going to end up with people frequently being rude to you and not wanting to interact with you online.


TT seeing the hostility by the way you wrote (caps lock/exclamation point) reacted in kind. Then you reacted the same, then TT reacted the sane. This could easily go on forever. Its time to step back and let bygones be bygones.

I also think a great part of this situation is that you are both misunderstanding the others intentions. TT wasn't being mean when he suggested you stay away from here, or when he told you that you can assume the means someone is joking. He was being helpful. TT misunderstand when you said you were just confused not upset,possibly because of the long paragraph before it using terms that one is likely to use when upset. And I'm sure there were a dozen other misunderstandings between the 2 of you

We can analyze this further, but I'd rather this thread just got back on track. As I'm sure most everyone would

Thanks, Dasha.

Wording seems to be the biggest culprit here, probably because of lack of theory of mind. And theory of mind doesn't materialize overnight.

In the mean time, it's important to avoid jumping to conclusions but, rather, checking out the reality of the speaker's intent first before assuming they meant something negative. Ask, "Did you mean X when you said that? It's unclear to me." If the person agrees they really meant X, then by all means have your reaction! It's so easy to misunderstand otherwise.

But to avoid all of this, it's generally a good idea for all parties to practice wording things in general terms, not accusatory terms so as to prevent the other party from misunderstanding. For example, rather than saying, "You're doing this wrong and you suck," try saying, "When people tend to say X, it's easily believed that Y is the case, and that's what I thought you meant. Doing Z is more helpful..." Wording is everything! It definitely takes practice. I notice that the suggestion to look up emoticons was a lot like saying "Do Z" without the warming up parts before that, which sounds more critical to the listener than the speaker intended.

It takes a lot of work and practice to be able to do this stuff habitually. Since I'm still working on it, it's been a useful policy to just step back and hold off on reacting when in doubt to assess first and decide on a good course of action. Seems to prevent a lot of unnecessary undesirable situations.