Do you come off as rude in your voice?

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msinglynx
Toucan
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04 Aug 2008, 3:32 am

my friends are always telling me I'm saying the wrong thing. Like, I can tell they get mad at me but I cant figure out why what I've said would bother them? Like once I said in front of a girl something about my guyfriends exGF & he went off on me, but he said he wasnt interested in the girl, so I couldnt get why it would bother him for her to know. And once I told a guy that he was much better looking than his brother & congradulated his GF who is a friend of a friend & they both looked really shocked & left really fast, so I know I messed up but he IS way cuter than his brother :( & woah, just a few weeks ago, I had sex with someone who's been hitting on me since highschool (9 YEARS!! !?) & I'd told him I didnt think we were compatible, but I did it anyway, cuz hey, you never know, & it is kind of.... a step on my growth? (Becuz before I couldnt even let my family touch me, so I am experimenting to see how far I can go, if that doesnt sound wrong :P) But anyway, it wasnt great or awful but I'd found out what I wanted to know & told him "no more sex" & he was all cool with it, but a few days later I joked about him not giving me an STD cuz I'd kick his ass, but it should be abvious cuz I am leaving the island totally so how could I kick his ass but he got really mad & I couldnt figure out why for days, until he finally told me & he was REALLY mad. :( :evil: which made me mad

Anyway, it usually happens when I am being familiar, like with friends, with strangers, it's usually just me asking odd questions...



Bunni
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04 Aug 2008, 9:16 am

StrawberryJam,

The online gaming world is full of people with ego! I play Guild Wars and have for the past 2 years. So I understand all of that stuff and the dynamic.

You answered him literally, but didn't agree to disagree or validate him, this is may have been why he saw you as he did. I've had these types of interactions as well. Text is difficult for everyone really..it almost puts Aspies and NT's on a neutral playing field becasue you can't rely on facial expression, tone of voice, etc to understand. I find that the act of some type of diplomacy is helpful. Saying things like sorry you feel that way, or "oh" and just changing the subject can be helpful.

In Guild Wars, there is one chapter of the game that allows a character to level very quickly. When you get to the more difficult areas, you often find you are too far ahead of yourself. Many complaints are made from lower levels in a level 20 area! Help me, they beg...go back and level more I answer. Since the game has been so quick a jump for them til this time, it's hard for them to understand. Unless people are in my guild or alliance, I usually pretty much ignore them. That works too!


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FireMinstrel
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04 Aug 2008, 9:27 am

StrawberryJam- this is why I like the other(offline) Final Fantasies. I can play them by myself, or in the company of people I know won't misunderstand me. In the few online text-based games I played, I was always a solo gamer. Even text can be read the wrong way sometimes, it seems.



StrawberryJam
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04 Aug 2008, 11:29 am

well, eventually i find that i get very lonely, cause i dont leave the house much, and if i feel lonely then i generally feel bored. i like MMOs cause i get the chance to make friends easier than in real life :3 and even if no ones online, i feel like im being social even if im listening to someone conversations in shouts ^^;


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Autisvic
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04 Aug 2008, 11:34 am

I'm not as bad as I used to be. I still do it, but now
I am more likely to "tell" if something I said is rude
sounding. I was never able to tell before. I never
even realized it.... Not even after years of people
telling me that I did it.



sartresue
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04 Aug 2008, 1:20 pm

Voicing the issues topic

My voice is usually a sort of monotone, except when I get excited and then i come off as crap hitting the fan. i have had to learn to modulate the tone and volume, because as my kids have told me, I sound like I am having a conniption.


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Keeno
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04 Aug 2008, 1:53 pm

I am pretty sure I don't.

At least not nowadays. If I have been told I have been rude and offensive in company this happened more in the past.

I take great care not to sound like people who sounded rude to me, and I think this has paid off.