For those with issues regarding touch

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My dad is 80 years old & as far as I know, he still hates to be touched or to touch anyone else. I am not that extreme. I don't like being touched by strangers, especially if I am not prepared for it.

Last edited by tomboy4good on 10 Aug 2008, 9:23 am, edited 1 time in total.

I don't mind touching as long as its on my terms so no never got over it.

I also hate touching unless it's on my terms, if someone touches me and im not prepared for it I tend to get a type of 'fight or flight' response. My 'flight' response seems to come out as I shut down and completely blank out for a couple of minutes but unfortunately I am more likely to get the 'fight' response where I hit and push the person away. I am much better at dealing with this then when I was younger. I don't know if you can teach or train someone with sensory issues to stop having sensory issues but I know that some people (like me) can overcome at least some of the issues as they get older.

I am 17 and have always hated being hugged or touched. I have never hugged my family.
I think physical contact should never be forced, my parents tried this and they got a very violent response. I think you should not force an AS person to be hugged or touched, you should never underestimate how painful it can be for an AS person to be touched.

Same here sometimes I'm able to be the hugger but never the huggee. If someone touches me unannounced it really creeps me out or I jump through the roof.

No. for me it is not an AVERSION. it has to do with over/under stimulation and trying to keep it regulated. sometimes i need a tight hug for calm, sometimes just someone barely brushing my skin feels irritating, painful.

trying to "build tolerance" would not work, if i was forced to stand it, then i would just lose my temper quicker, or mentally retreat/go numb to escape it.

so my advice would be to focus instead on communication, bulid up his feelings of having some control over it instead of helplessness, encourage him to verbally or with gestures let you know what he needs or what would be ok. him saying "no" instead of just a scream, and being able to trust that you will stop when he does so. and also what was already said about giving him warning, telling him you want to hug him a bit before you attempt it.

i do not like to be touched and wonder why people have this thing where they think they need to touch all the time

people just do not get that some people just do not like to be touched and wonder how to get people to stop trying

I've always been pretty particular about who touches me and where. My husband is pretty touchy feely, and it's taken awhile to get used to it. There are still times when even he can't touch me, but not as much as when we first got together. My son is a little weird about touch, too. I think that it will be interesting to see how that plays out as he starts dating. A girl tried to french kiss him and he told her that it was gross and he said it weirded him out. I kinna laughed because I felt like that too, but now it's just life.

I think that gradual desensitizing has helped for us. It doesn't work for everyone, though. Teaching kids to ask about others' personal boundaries and to make other people ask for them is good too. That works for a lot of my kids (I work with alot of ASD kids) who have touch issues. I find that when they are teenagers, they are either over touchy because they crave the sensory input or they can't stand being touched because they are over sensory stimulated.

I hate it when strangers touch me or when anyone light touches me, pokes, or taps me. However I love cuddling with my boyfriend. And I don't mind a hug from someone really close to me if I am in the mood.

I'm actually an exception to the "aspies don't like to be touched" thing. I love physical contact, I'm a very touchy-feely type person myself, and I especially love hugs. The only issue I have with touch is I can't stand to be unexpectedly touched from behind. Especially by someone I don't know that well. Like when someone comes up from behind and squeezes my shoulder it makes me shudder. My sensory issues with noise are pretty much the same. I need constant noise, however sudden unexpected noises really bother me.

I have never liked to be hugged or touched, I thought it was because as a kid my parents never hugged me. But as I got older I remember that my dad like to touch (not in a pervy way, just to connect I guess) but I was repulsed by that.
And yes, it effects me now.

I don't like to be touched unless I initiate it. Dh's family is like that and always saying I love you and they expect my response. Im very relieved when the moment passes I'm sorry to say.
Dh is a touchy type person too. It makes for an interesting relationship sometimes

I'm not big on hugs at all. If I have a 'huggy' friend or a little kid wants to give me a hug, then that's fine, I won't freak out, but I never initiate. I find being touched distracting - the idea of a massage doesn't do much for me. I love getting manicures because I like having perfect nails, but I hate all the prep work, the massaging and lotion etc - I always want to yell at them to skip it. The worst for me has always been getting my hair done. As a kid, I used to fight with my friends because they insisted on doing my hair. I still hate getting it cut or having it blow dried. It's doable though ,it's not like I have a meltdown, it's just not pleasant for me like it is for some people. Actually, my biggest issue with touch is saliva, which totally grosses me out. If someone licks their fingers, I get all grossed out about them touching me anywhere. It makes me nervous for when I get a boyfriend because the idea of kissing is gross to me.

Actually, the idea of french kissing is kind of uncomfortable to me. When I actually did try french kissing it didn't feel good to me at all, and I just kept laughing because I felt really awkward. o_0

I'm sort of backwards with touch. I don't like for my family to touch me, but I don't mind if my friends do. But I hate it when anyone touches me with their hands. Hands are always so sticky and disgusting.

But when I have to touch or be touched, I usually just make myself give or receive the touch in the warmest way possible so that they don't talk about it and what not. If they start talking about it and noticing it, then they usually have me do it again and again, until i can give a convincingly warm hug. I don't think they understand the level of discomfort it gives me to touch family members. I think it's easier to hug/touch friends because I don't do it very often and the touch is usually meaningless. I don't think it is the touch so much as the emotion behind it that bothers me. But when hands are involved, it most certainly is the touch. Yuuuuuuck.

I think the reaction to touch is the result of a hyper-sensitive nervous system. Having touch forced upon a person could, over time, be so stressful as to cause physical health problems if it were forced upon a person over a long period of time. It's probably best to respect the wishes of an individual if they are reacting to being touched and not push it. Maybe his touching others is his way of making contact that he can't otherwise enjoy the experience of in any other way. He may need some influence, however, concerning respecting other peoples' boundaries, if others are in any way reacting to 'his' touch. I hope that makes sense.

I'm uncomfortable with touch in either direction.