Do you only see yourself as "different"?

Post Reply New Topic

I see my as normal. I see everybody else as different in the sense of foreign and weird. I cannot understand the concept of that other people are supposedly normal.

I try to think of as everybody as different in the sense of individuality. That's my idea of how it should be said because that's the way it is to my mind. But spontaneously, I can't stop myself to think that I'm normal while everybody else is funny.

Yeah, since I was in kindergarten and I realized that I didn't have anything to talk about with anyone or it seemed that way since everyone else had made themselves little groups and seemed to have loads to talk about, even then. I have no idea what they talked about and I have no idea what people talk about in conversations now, as an adult. And I'm 41! (I have not been diagnosed, but after doing research on AS, I know I want to be tested. I just don't know who to talk to. I'm terrible with the talking thing) I mean, I can hear the words people are saying, but I can't make sense of the importance or relevance and I can't understand where to join in. I think I'm communicating or being funny, but people just look at me like I'm completely out there. Usually like at work, I just try to ignore it all completely, but, for my entire life, through school at all levels including university and graduate school and every job, I am just left out because I think other people don't get me and I don't get them. It's like it's me against them. After researching a lot and reading posts of people here, I realize some of the things I probably have, like auditory processing disorder. But that is me just reading. Books and research work for me, while the usual social process is a complete upside down mystery. Before my AS research I didn't know there were neurotypicals and then, the other side of the coin, me, and I guess anyone else with AS, but, man, does that make sense to me now. I wish I'd known before (they tried to tell my Mom when I was in 2nd grade that something about the way I communicated wasn't quite right, but she got really mad about it and would't hear that I might have some disorder). I even got to the WP site a while back, but didn't really know how I could make use of it. But what I'd like to do is ask, do some of the things I'm talking about ring a bell for anyone here who is diagnosed or who is familiar with this diagnose? I'm not asking for a confirmation, just an idea, like yeah, what's happening to me is familiar to you too. I want to go for a diagnosis, but who should I talk to, and what should I ask them? I don't want to end up talking to the wrong people who may not know enough about this. It does seem that people in Europe are much better informed than people in the US about this (which is par for the course). If anyone can give me any advice at all, that would be great. Thanks in advance.

Actually, I'm the exact opposite. I live in an area where people are unusally stupid and cruel, so I've always considered "them" strange. It took me a long time to realize that I can't be normal where the whole world is strange, but I tended to accept it as a compliment. My former friends, who all in their own ways had issues, were the "normal" ones.

I've always been, and still am, ignorant of the extent of my oddities. I know they're there, but sometimes when I hear the things people say I wonder if I'm more "odd" than even I realize. I'm blindsighted in a way that even people with AS don't seem to be.