Estranged from parent?

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My father is an alcoholic. Mother is a closet alcoholic public prescription pill/drug addict. My father was definitely bullied growing up because he didn't fit in. My mother grew up impoverished and had issues due to that upbringing

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i used to be completly estranged from my dad and now that im not, we are learning about eachother.

as for my mom, we have never gotten along, we cant live together.
she has a lot of different mental issues and a HUGE problem with anger so we get along sporadically.

yes i agree whith u quatermass ....grain and field your

I can think of two possibilities off the top of my head, there may be more: he has some awareness through your diagnosis what AS is and recognises himself in those descriptions and is in denial, so doesn't want to deal with it. He knows there's supposed to be a genetic component (and maybe he does or doesn't recognise the traits in himself) but feels in some way guilty about passing this on to you.

Maybe your mum sheltered him from some of these events. Maybe she didn't tell him every time she had to go to school?

You don't have to give in to the pressure and the guilt trips if you don't want to. You are now responsible for your own happiness, and if you think cutting off your parents is the best way to achieve peace of mind, you have every right to do so.

I've been estranged from my mother for 25 years (I'm now 38) and the very last time I saw my father was about 15 years ago (I'd cut him off previously, but there had been a reconciliation enforced by well-meaning do-gooders, which naturally went wrong, so I should have trusted my earlier instincts).

You can't choose your family, but you can choose your friends.

Just because someone is related to you by blood, doesn't mean you have to like or respect them, especially not if they treat you disrespectfully and refuse to acknowledge your problems and dismiss your opinions.

I don't regret cutting my parents off. Of course, I wish I had nice parents. But my sisters have been involved in ongoing strife and poisonous family politics over the years that I've completely avoided. Thankfully.

Uh, likewise, Followthereaper90.

I didn't talk to my father for about a year. This was a result of being replaced by his new family, and when I did meet with him, he would scream at me for hours in ways that he would never have done to people he actually valued, like them. I have restarted contact with him recently in hopes that he will change. Thankfully, he has not had a real fight with me. However, he still continues to treat his dumb floozy of a girlfriend and her bratty son as if they crap out gold and fart rainbows, while if I do something wrong, it's immediately pointed out. I will go back to college in a couple of weeks, and not have to deal with those two annoying people, only him if he chooses to contact me.

My Mom I've kept my distance from intermittently, but never as long. We've had our problems, yes. So many of them. However, I can oddly depend on her more than my father, because at least the problems are on the table, and have been for years. I never trusted her in the way I did my dad, and therefore never got let down in the same way. I've gotten close to not talking to her for a few months, but never actually cut her off for any significant amount of time.

And as for the whole bullying question mentioned earlier in the thread - I won't call it bullying if someone unintentionally pushes my buttons, sensory or otherwise, the first time without knowing what they are. However, if I ask them to stop and they don't, and make it quite clear that they KNEW they were hurting me and had no intention of avoiding this, as has happened numerous times, I would call that bullying.