How to Argue with an NT

Post Reply New Topic

I don't see the point of it. Why can't you both have what pleases you?

The point of arguing is trying to get someone else to conform to the way you are thinking or until someone gives in...which usually just breeds resentment.

The science of understanding NT thought is pretty tough. They don't understand it, so how are we as Aspies supposed to?

Example of differences:
I buy a car because it drives nicely, is cheap to maintain, and has the features I want. My wife buys a car because it is a nice colour and looks in style. For her desirability somewhat increases with price. For me desirability increases with features I want, etc.

I have found that by statistical analysis of responses we can predict the actions of NTs and use that information to "win" arguments with them. Or at least terminate arguments with a minimum of fuss and go on with our lives.

I'll start with what not to do:
Do not argue logically. It is likely the NT you are arguing with cannot follow your logic. If they can follow your logic they will be incapable of formulating a response and get mad. To quote an NT "I know you are wrong, but your argument is perfect." Yes someone really said that to me.

Don’t fight to resolve the issue. This is all about positioning and "emotionally forcing the other person to listen to/respect you." So the only goal is to win the argument. You will not be able to resolve the issue until you have "won" so don't bother trying. The goal here is establishing your alpha position emotionally. That is how NTs fight so you have to fight on their level. <Dogs instinctually also fight for alpha position but I digress.>

Now let's get into what to do. All of this is observed from NTs behaviour:
1) Mock them. Most NTs will respond to mocking and back down. Fight is over.

2) Talk quietly and Accuse them of losing control. "You are yelling and your hands are trembling again. You are losing control. You are just angry and not thinking straight."

3) Never admit you are wrong. I have real problems with this one personally. But it is the correct thing to do in an emotional or NT argument. The argument is about control and dominance. Not about the facts. Admitting you are wrong is submitting to the truth.

4) Change the topic to one where you are clearly right. “Remember when you didn’t call on Friday night and you were out late? How inconsiderate was that?” It is very important that you drive the topic to situations where they were in the wrong. Anything they say to change the topic should be ignored.

5) Ignore anything they say. It is not relevant to the argument. Your goal is to win, which means the only points that matter are ones that put them in the wrong and you in the right. Anything they say will not support your case so ignore them.

Any Aspie who reads this will be aghast and so you should be. Such behaviour in an argument is crazy. However many NTs are so emotionally driven that you will NEVER understand them. Not a problem. Just learn the social rules for dealing with them. They don’t have to make sense to you. They just have to work. These rules for arguing with NTs work. Amazingly I have found they have no negative side effects. You are expected to act this way.

Please remember though that there are thinker NTs. These people you can argue with logically to resolve the issue. The key is figuring out which is which. Personally I spend a lot more time around thinkers given the choice. I spent a lot of time figuring out this stuff to deal with emotional people. On the up side it saved my marriage so it can’t be all bad.

Ttyl

PS If you are savant remember one thing. Just because no one can effectively argue with you it doesn’t mean you are right. It just means no one can effectively argue with you.

Question for OP:

Programmer, have you shown this thread to your wife?

Yeah, it's no fun to be lumped into a category and dumped out like yesterday's trash. You'd think if some people on this site were such "objective thinkers" they would be able to maintain more control over their own hypocrisies.

Oh another note is: Witnesses. Witnesses heavily affect emotional people. They are very concerned about their appearance and how they are perceived. So finding an excuse for having someone else in the room will seriously change the way they act for the better. Occasionally for the worse: like refusing to discipline a kid in public because it will look badly on them.

Another Interesting Note: Ranking. Once you outrank someone or are considered an expert an emoter will not question anything you say. You can pretty much say anything logically consistent or not and it will be taken as gospel. It makes sense emoters don't have the logical skill to check consistency. So they rank truth based on credentials or rank.

It's misleading, since it's used to indicate that a person does not posess an autism spectrum disorder but it implies the person is "typical" neurologically, which is often times untrue.

Bigotry aside: We aspies need technique and codified rules to more effectively deal with NT society.

Is the OP correct on his assessment? Yes. Does he advise behavior that people dont already use on each other? No he doesnt. Tactically, should Aspies use some variant of this? I would think so.

the OP or anyone who takes notice of what he is saying. I've said before, I get pissed of when people talk about NT's like they are some different race. I hate the actual saying itself.

You realize you on a a web forum that is called Wrong Planet right?

Considering Neurotypicals as a different species and helping Aspies with this is the whole foundation of this site.

yeah, what so we have no ambition of fitting in one day? We just come on here to insult the rest of the world and plot on ways to get revenge on them for having it so easy?

black people have no problem beating their kids in public for some f**** up reason.