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A little help..

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teena
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28 Aug 2008, 9:50 pm

Greentea wrote:
From my own experience and books that say the same, a man who says he doesn't deserve you is saying the truth. Run. He's more concerned with what she thinks of him than with building a future with you. Asperger's is no excuse for being a lousy life partner. Unless you enjoy the RESCUER role in the typical WIFE-VICTIMHUSBAND-RESCUER triangle, tell him to call you when he's emotionally divorced.

Maybe you have a childhood history of your needs coming second to others', that's why your second-importance role in this relationship doesn't strike you as off-putting that you'd lose interest in dating him.


You know, Ive actually thought about this several times before already and I don't know, call me stupid but I never felt that he isnt sincere. Its just that somehow he cant see how amazing a person he is and how much potential he has and how endless the possibilities are for happiness> I know it's somewhere there and I just want him to see it. And I want to know how I can best help him do it.. Help him not do it for him.



Fnord
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28 Aug 2008, 9:57 pm

Teena,

Until the divorce becomes final, you are dating a married man, which thus makes you the "Other Woman." Do you really want that?


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teena
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28 Aug 2008, 10:05 pm

Fnord wrote:
Teena,

Until the divorce becomes final, you are dating a married man, which thus makes you the "Other Woman." Do you really want that?


I know.. :( I've always avoided being tied to anyones strings.. until this. The thing is, despite knowing that, I'm still here and I'm happy. Have I gone insane?



Greentea
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28 Aug 2008, 10:37 pm

Since you're happy n the RESCUER role, enjoy your happy life and stop worrying about whether this unhealthy triangle is a product of Asperger's. Asperger's has nothing to do with it. Actually, group mind games are typical of neurotypicals.


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Fnord
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28 Aug 2008, 11:40 pm

teena wrote:
Fnord wrote:
Teena,

Until the divorce becomes final, you are dating a married man, which thus makes you the "Other Woman." Do you really want that?

I know.. :( I've always avoided being tied to anyones strings.. until this. The thing is, despite knowing that, I'm still here and I'm happy. Have I gone insane?

No... you're just "in love." Try to take it easy until the endorphins wear off, okay?


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teena
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29 Aug 2008, 2:05 am

Fnord wrote:
teena wrote:
Fnord wrote:
Teena,

Until the divorce becomes final, you are dating a married man, which thus makes you the "Other Woman." Do you really want that?

I know.. :( I've always avoided being tied to anyones strings.. until this. The thing is, despite knowing that, I'm still here and I'm happy. Have I gone insane?

No... you're just "in love." Try to take it easy until the

yeah.. I guess you're right. Thanks! :)



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29 Aug 2008, 2:24 am

I went through a very similar situation many years ago. The question I finally asked myself was do I want a wife or a pet. The difference between a more human and a less human is appreciation of consequence. The more human will never cut a branch that he or she is standing on but a less human might. Not because of intelligence but because of the true appreciation of consequence.