LeKiwi
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Joined: 26 Nov 2007
Age: 40
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,444
Location: The murky waters of my mind...
21 Sep 2008, 9:28 am
You mean, everyone treated the same and not given any leeway for being of the 'fairer sex'? Might be nice (though I do like the effect batting my eyelashes can have... 
), but I think those pesky hormones might get in the way a bit. 
21 Sep 2008, 9:29 am
21 Sep 2008, 9:50 am
LeKiwi,
I don't mean women can't act like women. Bat those eyelashes all you want! 
ooOoOoOAnaOoOoOoo wrote:
I don't know about all that. I am female and people seem very intolerant of me. I am not the stereotypical female, not by a long shot! You wouldn't believe how different I am from the stereotypical female!
I am nothing at all like most women and people who know me realize this.
Even though I am feminine I don't really behave in a way that is typical of my gender. I seem detached and aloof, don't enquire about others like I should, don't really show any signs of empathizing with people when they tell me their problems. I do feel empathy for certain persons who I share things in common with but it is nearly impossible for me to empathize with anyone I feel leads a better life than me.
And I KNOW this is a trait that is totally Aspie. Look at all the anti NT posts in this forum. It's the same thing. We cannot easily empathize with what we percieve is vastly different and much better off.
I have realized though, a lot of it is in our own minds, that people are not as different and better off as we think when we go into that "obsessional mode" somewhat tinged with shades of paranoia when we think of ourselves as totally detached from everyone, NTs are out to get us, we are worse off for being on the spectrum, no one will ever accept or understand blah blah blah
See, that is our Asperger's Syndrome showing. It's part of having AS. But is it reality? Probably not. Everyone has their Achilles Heels and not all "NTs" make and keep friends, attract good friends, live flawless, happy lives.
I am nothing at all like most women and people who know me realize this.
Even though I am feminine I don't really behave in a way that is typical of my gender. I seem detached and aloof, don't enquire about others like I should, don't really show any signs of empathizing with people when they tell me their problems. I do feel empathy for certain persons who I share things in common with but it is nearly impossible for me to empathize with anyone I feel leads a better life than me.
And I KNOW this is a trait that is totally Aspie. Look at all the anti NT posts in this forum. It's the same thing. We cannot easily empathize with what we percieve is vastly different and much better off.
I have realized though, a lot of it is in our own minds, that people are not as different and better off as we think when we go into that "obsessional mode" somewhat tinged with shades of paranoia when we think of ourselves as totally detached from everyone, NTs are out to get us, we are worse off for being on the spectrum, no one will ever accept or understand blah blah blah
See, that is our Asperger's Syndrome showing. It's part of having AS. But is it reality? Probably not. Everyone has their Achilles Heels and not all "NTs" make and keep friends, attract good friends, live flawless, happy lives.
ooOoOoOAnaOoOoOoo,
Both females and males are expected to act a certain way. If a male deviates a TINY bit, it sets off alarms. If a woman deviates on some things, they are just IGNORED! Being detached, aloof, and even lacking some empathy may often be overlooked. Even preferences and sensitivities will be overlooked. With MALES, they may be called cowards, weaklings, sissies, etc...
And yeah, NTs are NOT that great socially. There are BOOKS on "body language". There are EXPENSIVE "dating services". Most Men OPENLY declare that they don't understand women. Some women are IDIOTS when it comes to men.(They are like the fishermen that don't REALLY know how the fish think, but trick the fish into thinking they have what the fish want.) The other women at least don't claim to know more than they do. Frankly, many companies would go BANKRUPT if NTs were as perfect socially as some here think. If their lives were flawless and happy, the jails would basically be EMPTY!
Last edited by 2ukenkerl on 21 Sep 2008, 10:22 am, edited 1 time in total.
21 Sep 2008, 9:52 am
sinsboldly
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Location: Bandon-by-the-Sea, Oregon
21 Sep 2008, 10:45 am
ooOoOoOAnaOoOoOoo wrote:
Now, I wonder...if women are so good at hiding it...is it like not having it? I don't think I am great at faking it in real life.
Out of the few psychologists I have talked to, only one is comfortable with the idea that me becoming more neurotypical is not the key to my satisfaction in life.
But faking it takes up my whole life, and leaves me little time to be me. And I can not sustain the fake indefinately. ~sigh~ but it gives me an apartment to live in with electricity and running water and indoor plumbing, food to eat and internet/tv cable - and who could ask for more?
Merle
Liverbird
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Age: 57
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,119
Location: My heart belongs to Anfield
21 Sep 2008, 11:10 am
LeKiwi
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Joined: 26 Nov 2007
Age: 40
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,444
Location: The murky waters of my mind...
21 Sep 2008, 11:15 am
sinsboldly wrote:
ooOoOoOAnaOoOoOoo wrote:
Now, I wonder...if women are so good at hiding it...is it like not having it? I don't think I am great at faking it in real life.
Out of the few psychologists I have talked to, only one is comfortable with the idea that me becoming more neurotypical is not the key to my satisfaction in life.
But faking it takes up my whole life, and leaves me little time to be me. And I can not sustain the fake indefinately. ~sigh~ but it gives me an apartment to live in with electricity and running water and indoor plumbing, food to eat and internet/tv cable - and who could ask for more?
Merle
Couldn't have put it better, Merle!! I'll happily keep my façade up because it means I have all my creature comforts, money to indulge myself and my friends, a lovely partner... it's all good, even if a little tiring.
Liverbird, my brother is also an aspie, and a few years younger than me. We've always had a very close connection, almost to the point of 'ESP', and I'm sure it's in part because I think I knew from the beginning he was 'like me'. It's only just been picked up, even though I've been saying it for years. He's such a lovely boy.
