Happy childhood :) Or sad childhood :(
I never felt accepted socially even in my youth, and when I was young before the child labor laws changed here in the USA I worked along side my family members earning a living from the time I could Pick up fruit from the ground and put it in a box or stack firewood in a truck to be sold later.
Last edited by aspergian_mutant on 22 Feb 2005, 6:11 pm, edited 2 times in total.
Well I was pritty antisocial in school, and as you people, I couldn't accept that I was different. But when I mooved school, everything got worse. I got bullied alot. I hated going to school everyday, though I knew, that they were really the ones, with the problem. So I guess I was pritty strong.
I pretty much had a crappy childhood. My biological mother was severaly Autistic and basicaly treated me like a doll. She would fall alseep in people yards and forget about me when she woke up. The yard owner would call social services and after the same thing kept happening I was put in foster care. I guess I was too much for people to handle because after just one night the foster family could not cope with me so I was put in mutlible foster homes until my parents took me. I never went to another foster home but I had to see my biological mother so they could observe how she interacted with me. I don't remember any of this so I guess I blocked it out. I was always getting in trouble at school. Always being bullied by kids and teachers. Always getting in trouble when I tried to defend myself. Always being forced to go to countless therapies to make me normal and being told I was defective. Not having any say over anything because I was a child. I had a wonderful childhood. My life changed for the better when I turned 18.
IntrospectiveLoser
Raven
Joined: 3 Jun 2008
Age: 33
Gender: Female
Posts: 113
Location: Cardboard box. Oh yes.
... A little bit of both.
My mother has always tired to do whats best for me. And I have some good memories.
But ...
My family is dysfunctional and tragic.
My dad is the root of the problem.
He's very abusive.
He inflicted things on me and my siblings I don't feel comfortable sharing at the moment.
He hurt my mom too.
My earliest memories are scared with the sound of screams and breaking glass.
The holy wood story.
You know?
...
And its left things a bit strange now that I've grown up.
But ...
He tries now.
Even if I still hate him.
He tires.
And mom loves me lots.
Even when she messes up, she still tries.
...
I guess I can't complain.
But my family is not perfect in the least.
My child hood reflects that.
My childhood was introspective, as through the looking glass reversed... distant. I longed to connect with someone, and always felt as though I was misshapen, deformed, defective. It wasn't terrible, especially compared to that which so many others have suffered, but it was a sad, lonely and disheartening time. There was always something 'wrong' with me that I needed to 'get over' so that I would talk and play with others. Junior high was the worst school experience in my life, though.
M.
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Brittany2907
The ultimate storm is eternally on it's
Joined: 9 Jun 2007
Age: 34
Gender: Female
Posts: 4,718
Location: New Zealand
Since I'm only 16, I don't think I can say my "childhood" because i'm technically still a minor. However, I can talk about my YOUNG childhood.
I don't remember by childhood before the age of 3, but i've been told that my mother spent much time with me while my father abused her physically and sold drugs as a second business to his job at the slaughter house. My mother and I left him just after I turned 3 years old. All through ages 4-7 I was quite content. I went to school, had good grades and the teachers liked me. At that age I didn't care what peers thought of me as didn't think they were important. I saw them as unimportant because they weren't authority figures like my teachers were. My home life was good and reasonabley stable, apart from my mothers bad relationships and hearing the occassional arguement.
I was hit as a child, but not severely, just a spanking or a slap on the back of the head. Of course I didn't like it, but I don't think it did me any harm. On a few occassions by mother punched me and once left me on the highway to walk home by myself. Although, she was mentally unstable at that time so I can't blame her.
I was never deprived of anything. I had food, water, shelter, toys and love from my mother. The only thing I missed was a father, but I went to visit him a few times a year so I got to know him somewhat.
The ages of 8-12....
I continued to attend Primary school and at this age was starting to become aware of my differences. I asked my neighbour who was the same age as me and popular at school..."How do I be cool?"...my words exactly. That was at age 8. I have many memories of me being rejected by peers and I having no idea what I was doing to make people not want to be around me. I decided for myself that I was an individualist, and this kept me from feeling like a misfit until I transferred schools to start intermediate school at age 11.
In my first year there, I was put in a class for those with mild learning disabilities and emotional disturbances. I was not told why I was put in that class and my mother didn't know why either. I remember that we had a different curriculum from all the other classes in my year and a therapist came into our class to talk about mood management and social interaction once a week. Basically, the idea that I was not a misfit was completely dismissed from then on. At this age I still had no idea that I had AS and to this day, don't have a clue for why I was in that class as I had no diagnosis on paper.
In my second year of that school I was put into a regular classroom which was much better academically speaking. The work was something I could take interest in. That year was when I really started to notice that others were intentionally excluding me and patronizing me. It was incredibley demeaning. I still didn't know why I was different but at that age I knew that I had a hard time making friends and thought if I tried harder I could succeed. Of course, It didn't work. This is also the year when I believe my self esteem was destroyed and depression took it's onset.
My home life from age 8-12 was terrible. My mother got in a relationship with a clinical sociopath when I was 10 and basically I would do anything to stay away from home. He was abusive to his daughters, my mother and myself both physically and verbally. I never understood why my mother claimed to love this man as he wasn't nice to her or anyone living in the house. No other family members knew what went on in our house and when I tried to tell someone, my mother said that I had an overactive imagination. Their relationship lasted until I was 14.
From age 13 until today things have gotten progressively worse. I don't have direction in my life, am depressed, have no real life friends and suffer from PTSD. The good news is, my mother finally found a nice man and she is marrying him in August this year.
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I = Vegan!
Animals = Friends.
My childhood was mostly unhappy and lonely too. I think maybe both of my parents are on the spectrum. I was frequently beaten and starved as punishment. A lot of the time I had no idea why. I was totally emotionally neglected, and physically neglected too. I remember as a very young child my mother putting soap in my mouth a few times. I had no idea why. She almost never spoke to me. I was probably doing echolalia of 'bad' words that I didn't understand. But I don't remember saying anything. So she put soap in my mouth and I cried because it tasted bad. But I was bewildered. Was my mouth dirty? Was I supposed to eat soap? Was this like medicine?
I can remember being socially rejected in first grade, but I was just confused, not offended, maybe a little frustrated.
I had a couple of friends all through grade school, and we still keep in touch. I don't know what would have become of me if I didn't have them. It was like us versus the world. I thought everyone else hated me.
Adolescence was more difficult, because all of my peers were growing up, dating, and having more complicated social relationships, but I remained more like a younger child socially. I hated how shy I was. I wished I could be more friendly and outgoing.
Teachers liked me for the most part. I was smart, I got good grades and never caused disruptions or trouble in the classroom. I guess my social problems flew under their radar. I was just overly shy. And AS wasn't a recognized condition back in those days anyway.
But my relationship with my parents was terrible. They never talked to me and I never talked to them. Except they yelled at me a lot, and up until adolescence I got beat a lot. I had really low self-esteem.
It was good I had siblings though. We played together, and had some good times together. I think having siblings helps you socially a lot. Even though we all have AS.
I'm even glad we fought with each other, because that helps you learn how to fight properly too.
But I never had support. I never had anyone looking out for me. I never had anyone wanting to help me reach my highest potential and be my advocate, mentor, or coach. I've always felt that no one raised me, I just grew up.
Now I have children, and I try to be there for them as much as possible. I tell them how much they mean to me and how much I love them. I give them credit for the things they do well, and advice when they need it. And my 4yo says 'bad' words and I just say, 'that's fine at home, just don't say it in public.' ![]()
Professor X here, I'm not fond of thinking of my chilhood, not that it was unpleasant no, just there are times I feel unhappy with some details that were part of if mainly, being bullied and the constant butt of someone's jokes or object of other's un-nice acts of manipulation as such. Today, I try to look to the future with all eyes open and try not to over-react to things that cause me grief from time to time...
ProfessorX
My school life was a hard road for me. More than one bump in the road. I was in resource up until 9th grade.I had a resource teacher who abused me for many years. I would come home crying everyday. She even accused me of cheating.
I was teased everyday up until about Junior High!!
They labeled me as a learning disability. I had a hard time being social and still do.
As far as family life it is pretty good growing up. We spend many summers in Idaho and I had a few good friends. Lots of good memories.
Bleh.
I have divided my childhood in periods:
0-5 years old: I seriously don't remember anything of this, all I have is a memory about an accident and also many visualizations from my parent's stories, that are not memories but reconstructions.
6-12 years old: Tons of bad moments involving crying, for whatever stupid reason, all I know is the happy times I had with my brother and family, few of them, but I do know they existed, but I do think of it as a lot of crying moments.
13-18 years old: So, I do remember something: Me and my brother had a lot of fun at home, and I really got into computers and programming which was awesome. I had my parents to back me up as well, but... it was a nightmare in the other side, I had to stand a lot of BS thanks to school, I remember it was very hard to deal with so many heavy assignments so I just decided to only do as much work as necessary which made me live on a constant "on the edge" situation grades-wise.
The real bad thing about school were all those parties , I made sure to put all my effort to avoid them, which led me to tons of disputes with my parents, and when I couldn't avoid the party: hell broke lose, I remember counting minutes so they end while having to stand very loud music that was very annoying.
The real deal was with all those spiritual retirements (camps) garbage, ever since the first one I hated them as a matter of fact, later when deciding about what spiritual path to choose I decided against the Catholic church exactly because of all the ridiculous camp stuff. I know for a fact everybody else going to those things loved it. But I hated it. But my parents would always love to take me to those since that would probably cure from my asocial personality...
Well, that's it I remember that all those years till becoming an adult were a fight between my parents that tried all they could to make social and me that really couldn't and didn't really want to. I do love my parents since we had very great times and I do know they did what they thought was best. Right now I think they just gave up, which I am not sure is something I like that much.
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