Imaginary self-punishment

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Thanks! I'll read about Eeyore on wiki, then.

Your English is perfect, though! And this coming from an English teacher and English Linguist with lots of experience in detecting Spanish speakers' mistakes in English. Did you get to practise your English in another country?

I learned about Colombia mostly from our Colombian distributors (I work in international telecom) and from "Cafe con Aroma de Mujer". I watched the whole telenovela twice, and someday when I have time I want to read the book. The story is fascinating and the acting of most was unbelievably good. I recommend it for Aspies, because it's all about people's hidden motivations and agendas. It taught me a lot about NTs.

All I know about Barranquilla is from my salsa CDs songs, so it's not much...

I'm Uruguayan, btw.

i just get headaches but wethter they are unintentionally caused by myself i will never know

I have this vision of a trapdoor under my feet that opens and sucks me in. I share the vision of going homeless with you guys too, especially since it's getting more and more plausible.

I always had the homeless vision too. Not anymore, since I confronted that image and made some inquiries as to the plausibility of it.

Not trying to be rude, I went through a lot of the same emotional feelings of extreme self-despise that you did. The forum is not a good place to get help for something of this degree. You should see a therapist or a guidance consoler immediately. If you have one now who isn't helping, find a new one now. I highly suggest you stop typing and look up some professional help.

No need to worry. I've been suicidal before, and I can tell when I'm in serious danger. Thanks for the concern.

doesn't sound like you're that badly disturbed to me ;p

it's only natural for us visual thinkers to visualise emotions like that.