What social skills for you fail to sink in?

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Wow, I do ALL of the above. All of it (except the "better safe than sorry" thing, I get that that's a warning, but I've done the same thing as applied to other sayings...).

It's gotten to the point where people who know me, when I add my random comment to a topic, just laugh like "there she goes again". Like Pakled's slogan/title "Bless his heart". I can relate to that slogan/title. Sometimes I feel like I am doomed to always be the mascot. Or the wacky neighbor. Someone who is admitted into society because I am good-natured but somehow never quite on the same level.

It would drive me mad if I thought about it too much.

empathy. I felt nothing during the World Trade center attacks and was only anxious because my whole routine had been turned upside down. Everything on TV was cancled so they could keep showing news cast about it. Everything was closed and basicaly everyone was paranoid. I felt nothing when Steve Irwin died and fail to see why everyone is so upset. I only wanted to make friends so I could talk about my special intrest.

I'm honest to the point of insulting. I have yet to master the art of lying to be polite. It feels so disingenuous when I say something like, "I really like what you've done with the place! The paint color, the drapes, it all looks really nice together!" When in fact I have just thrown up in my mouth a little in a gut reaction to the awful choices made.

A friend once asked me what I thought of the salsa they had made for a party. I said it needed garlic. No more friend.

In fact, I've all but stopped offering opinions on food and interiors (two of the things I'm "known" for)- especially for friends or acquaintences. I've learned they usually want affirmation of their choices, not a truthful eye.

I'm too quick to correct things like spelling, grammar and punctuation. I try VERY hard not to make an issue of it unles I'm at work.

I tend to take everything literally.

ETA: One thing I have worked diligently to include in my everyday vocabulary is I'm Sorry, even though I rarely ever am. It's one of those lies people need to hear even though they don't believe it either.

My problem area is when people in public ask me how I am. It never occurs to me at the moment to return the question.

Not that people really mean that, anyway. If I were to tell them the truth about how I am at any given moment, they'd become uncomfortable and be like, "ummm... Okay...". I frown upon such flippant social gestures. It cheapens genuine care and concern.

Maybe this is just a memory issue rather than a social skills deficit (all my memory being rerouted to other things, often things it shouldn't hold onto), but I have trouble with names and remembering who people are. Not family, friends, professors or anything like that, of course. It's more like random people I've seen around, or who have seen me around, will recognize me, and without prompting, I won't remember who they are. Sometimes this can cause trouble. I try to be careful about asking who they are and how they know me, however.

I don't have the blunt honesty thing going on in all cases (like, I know how to tell someone their art looks nice even if I think it's butt-ugly, and I withhold criticism when I don't think it's necessary), but when I do notice something that is outright wrong, like someone getting picked on, I don't care who the offender is, I'll take them on. Also, if there's something important to be said that I suspect no one else will have the guts to say, I'll often be the one to stand up and say it. I figure I usually don't have anything to lose, anyways.

There's probably lots of other stuff too, but I can't think of it right now.

THATS why I'm such a nut then lol

Welcome to my world I've told some people I chat with on AIM from WP about medical issues I have etc. In an odd way call me crazy it's comforting to an extent. So I know where you are coming from I agree it's something I'll never get over with either.

love and dating.

im may be 15, but the majority of people in my grade got laid at 13.

LOL! Alot of these social issues fit me!! ! I tend to say sorry alot now adays for stupid stuff. (example my sister is in a traffic jam I say I'm sorry since I in a way feel bad for her being in that predicament since I know she's stressed from it.) I'm also blunt the other day in the mall a little boy said are you going to a pet store I said no we (as in me and my sisters) were going to shop for clothes then going to get ice cream and then going home. (he said oh). (My sisters reaction YOU SHOULD OF JUST GAVE HIM YOUR ADDRESS!! !!) I didn't realize it's an issue. Another social issue I think I have is basically things go in one ear and out the other which I feel has resulted in alot of life issues for me. I also like to focus on my interests for example at one of my birthday parties I just played my Gameboy and ignored my friend and I hated a friend who I had over the phone who would go on and on about video game franchises I cared NOTHING about!! ! LOL! Those are just some of the social things that I have.

I don't have a problem with social skills anymore by now. What I don't have is empathy / theory of mind, which is an inborn faculty of the brain and cannot be improved on. It makes me blind to and unable to figure out what someone expects from me, so I always seem inconsiderate, selfish, mean, crazy to them no matter how much I give them.

I tend to say things lot of people wouldn't normally say.
My boyfriend got so used to it, he doesn't open his mouth anymore. Sometimes he says "Thanks a lot." He is being sarcastic there when he says that.


I don't go around greeting people saying "How are you?" "Good morning." "Hi."
Luckily lot of people don't do that anyway, only some do so I know it's no biggie if we don't do it.

I get this one, but after 50 years it is still deeply offensive.
I sneeze and some jerk says, "god bless you."
Great. A christian giving a pagan blessing to an agnostic. On the surface, it makes no sense at all. Underneath, this pretends to be an act of kindness because it shows that the person generously assumes that am a member of this exclusive club. The fact that I have no desire to join such a brutal, oppressive, amoral, authoritarian, mindless club is beyond their comprehension. He is not thinking about it in those terms at the moment and neither should I. It's just a mindless reflex, an expression of the tyranny of the majority. A chance to rub it in but with plausable deniability. Just an innocent little gesture, right? While my mouth remains closed, I'm not sure whether anyone can detect the steam coming out of my ears.

In gossip, sometimes I still hear the phrase, "white trash." This is always accompanied by a gesture that demands some sign from me that I agree. I do not agree, and I always let 'em have it with both barrels. Not only have you insulted the individual who is the topic of this conversation, you have insulted three quarters of the world with the assumption that anyone non-white is the standard of "trash." And you have insulted me by assuming that I feel the same way. No, I am not scum like you, and I will not allow that delusion to continue for one minute.

When someone uses the word, "rude," the correct translation is usually "uppity." You are allowed to abuse me, but I am not allowed to say "ouch." The only acceptable response is to assume the mannerisms of a house slave as though such a position in society is an honor and a privilege. "Thank you sir, may I have some more?"

It took me a long time to realize most people do this with no understanding what so ever of what it means to me (and apparently to you!) They don't see it as anything more than what superstition of a sneeze was from how their famililes trained them as a 'polite' thing to say. They have a reaction if you belched in their hearing that this time you are supposed to say 'excuse me' as if you have allowed the physical animal of your body to escape from the clutches of your civility for a moment and have to apologize for how god made you.

My biggest steamed up and astonishment is when people say 'suck'. As in 'this sucks, that sucks or you/me/they/ suck. The insult comes from prison slang of who sucked and whom got sucked, (and I am not talking about lollypops here.) The one that 'sucked' or 'sucks' was the one in the 'one down' or female position and therefore a double insult. I am gobsmacked when people use the word with no understanding what so ever!

Merle

Not calling a person on a lie in public because you could embarrass them. (Not sure how prevalent this is outside of my school...)

Not knowing when to not make a joke.

When to not be sarcastic.

Acting like you like a person who you cannot stand the sight of.

Dealing with friends who have gotten other friends.

I didn't understand this one...?

How old were you?
When Kennedy died, I was around second grade. I was aware because a teacher, in tears, came in to tell us about it. And all the cartoons that weekend were canceled because of the funeral. At that age, I don't think my lack of emotional response was significant. I don't know that I had ever heard of the guy before. The magnitude of significant events is difficult to grasp emotionally, impossible when you don't even grasp the significance rationally.

The masses (NTs) certainly do not grasp the significance of October 1, 2008. If they did, there would be riots in every city, including members of every socio-economic group, everywhere. You have just been robbed of everything that matters. Sweet dreams.