I had a meltdown a while ago...

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Going back more than 20 years in my memory, I have a story here as well.

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I had this teacher with whom I had a love / hate relationship. I was the smartest kid in class and she knew, but I was also the most annoying one. She had the nasty habbit of grabbing kids ears, not hard, but just enough so you felt it, but I disliked being touched by anyone.

So at one moment I snapped, lashed out, and knocked out that frail nearly 60 year old woman. I was brought into the principals office and my house was called. My dad came to school (it was his day off) and he was really angry at me for hitting my teacher.

But I was justified in my reaction, even though my reaction was overdone, so I became really over the top pissed off. And I trashed the principals office.

***

Some years later, I was being picked on by the school bully and I snapped. I picked up the old fashioned wooden chairs we still had, and used that to beat the crap out of him. I'm actually glad that the schoolyard code of honor applied there. Because that was pretty bad. But that was also the last time I had ever been bullied by anyone.

Years later someone in high school tried to bully me. But at that time I already did karate, and well apparently because of AS, I was really good at that. I swung my fist at him, but did not intend to hit him, instead I hit the lockers behind him, and punched through the sheeth metal door of his locker. "The next time that will be your head." I said, and walked away. For three weeks I had to hide any pain in my main hand, removing the bandages before entering school, because my hand was pretty banged up (but nothing broken) and nobody ever messed with me again.

Okay, rambling, but sharing my life stories is actually a fun thing, and seeing how some other people's stuff has helped me, I could not help to share.

Yeah, happened to me a lot and they started with disciplinary actions and all that. If that helps any, like in sharing misery and totally meltdown-y stories at school:

(I think my story is horribly funny though hehe)

At one time, I was 13 or 14 years old, it was the middle of class, a teacher asked me to change seats. Another student who was misbehaving was supposed to sit in my seat at the front. Now, I had several reasons to not want to change seats:

1. It was my seat. I couldn't possibly change seats. (Talk of rigid/routine thinking here hehe)
2. It would make me sit besides other people.

So I just said 'no' when the teacher asked me to change seats. She repeated herself - of note, everybody back then thought I was like, bordering low intelligence ad she might have thought repeating herself will help me understand or something - and I said 'no' again.

She repeated herself exactly, just getting louder and louder, more than 10 times (20 times?) to which I always said 'no' until her mass of talking, her loud talking send me into a meltdown.

I started screaming, crying, covering my ears, drumming on the table and she totally flipped and screamed I was insane and screamed what idiotic parents I had and why they messed me up to which I again flipped, kicked a chair while getting up - nothing against my parents dude - and said she was a horrible person to say that and that she's behaving like a dumb cow. Then she went on about how people should just be tripping me down and locking into a room because I was so crazy.

I didn't want to touch her because I found her totally gross - my luck I was having a hard time with OCD and phobia of germs I guess, or I'd have hit her as in any other meltdown. She send me to the office to which I went (she didn't trust me on it).

I was seated at a table and was told to write down what I did wrong. Now try that in/after a meltdown if you already have issues with writing, speaking, looking, Since also I wasn't as good at writing about something back when I was 13, I couldn't have done it even without the meltdown.

So after half and hour or more, the headmistress came in and decided to interview me on what happened. To which I couldn't say a lot, because she didn't understand why anyone would mind changes - such as changing seats.

Result was a moronic disciplinary conference at which every teacher except one spoke up for expelling me and that I was a little on the stupid side for being unable to do what's asked of me in school so much. They decided to have me see a psychologist.

Oh yeah, the teacher who send me into a meltdown later insisted that I had said "fat cow" to which I replied that I wouldn't make a remark about her fat body, because being fat doesn't mean anything and that I called her 'dumb cow' for behaving dumbly and irresponsible. I didn't consider that my explanation didn't exactly help the situation hehe

Mom decided it wasn't worth it and that school was moronic for thinking I was bordering retardation (mom always had a good guess into that I'm gifted) and we didn't go.

Good thing, really.

Even in 2007 there's still no professional easily available in my city who actually knows HF autism.

In hindsight it was quite funny.

Sora, it's great that you actually find it funny :p it really gave me some chills!

I had a few situations like that but that was a loong time ago, probably somewhere around elementary school. I had serious issues with truancy in high school though (probably trying to avoid sitations like that) and that meant a lot of dealing with the authorities. I hated it but at least learned some self-control.

Back in my school days, I had my share of meltdowns, but it was usually at other students. 8th grade and the first couple of years of high school were the worst. I usually managed to restrain myself from hitting other students, but did other things like yelling profanities at them, I threw desks and books a couple of times at students who tormented me.

At home, if I showed any negative emotion at all, my parents yelled at me something fierce. I was always supposed to be happy and smiling and control my temper, not feel sad, depressed, etc., always happy. Yet my sister often had tantrums where she'd run to her room and slam the door and there were no consequences for her and in fact, they usually caved in to her demands when she did that. Made no sense to me at all. Just like my parents would lose their tempers and start screaming, ranting, etc., yet they wanted me to not show negative emotion at all. Haven't they ever heard of leading my example?

I learned how to hold it in then I'd lock myself in my room and let it all go at once. I don't know if they heard me or not, but they rarely said anything about it. Once I had let it all go and was tired, I'd lie down and just look at the ceiling for a little while.

I used to think most school officials were on some sort of power trip because of their positions, and it sounds like the guy you were dealing with falls into that category. Just wanting to flex the power his position gives him and you became the object of his power trip. But of course you suffered the consequences, with him walking free.

When you think about it, school officials can pretty much do what they want to the students, and there's no recourse at all for whomever they choose to victimize. They can arbitrarily restrict your activities, cheat you out of grades you earn for reasons other than academics, take your personal property(they call it confiscating, I call it theft, stealing, illegal seizure, etc.), and absolutely nothing can be done about it. Nobody should have that much power.

Sorry you had to experience this, hope you enjoyed your week away from that place.

I didn't usually have meltdowns. I simply got fresh with people. I did assault another student once thou.

FYI, many teachers aren't much better than the students in regard to picking on those they feel are vunerable. I completely understand why it would feel good to lash out, but that's only going to make them more likely to target you in the future. A much wiser approach is to pretend they don't bother you, then turn around and report them. A school offical caught administring bad behavior on the account of your disability would be in deep s**t legally here in the US...

I can't remember having any full blown Melt-downs, but I have had them when I was little.

One did happen a few days ago. I was talking to my friend, saying something (not a person,) looked like "chicken in s**t," someone, who has managed to figure i'm not exactly NT, but doesn't know I'm autistic, said "Oh, you?" So I just said "Shut the F up, Fatty" it escalated, and it ended in him saying "Well I least I don't need a TA following me around all the time." I flipped, ran for him, people were holding me back, but I was literally dragging them to deck this person.

For the lesson after, I was almost silent (maybe a conscious effort at selective muteness, which I do rarely,) and didn't contribute to the lesson until the very end.

Would you call that a meltdown?

lol nice one

It's hard to not get violent with someone who's caused you to have a meltdown more than once.

Let's just say, time before that, it included him losing ha;lf of his weight being chased aroun the school for an hour straight for saying I have "Mental Issues."

The only thing worse than a meltdown is a freeze-up.

meh.

I was known at school for "emotional outbursts" which usually involved me breaking into tears and not telling anyone what was wrong. Situation unprovoked, it just all got to be too much. I think I just didn't know how to explain what was wrong, or I didn't even know what was wrong. Mom always got called to take me home, and it usually resulted in a threat to visit the doctor, the change of scenery usually worked, but I never, ever told anyone what was wrong, because I wasn't sure myself. No one ever really tried to get to the bottom of it, in high school and college when it would happen I'd just leave the room. I skipped class a lot in high school and would actually just hide out in a bathroom stall until it felt safe to come out.

And I have rage meltdowns all the time, again, usually unprovoked. I remember once in college I was driving somewhere with a friend (who ironically was getting her MS degree in OT to work with autistic people) and just pulled over, started freaking out and banging on the steering wheel. It wasn't about her...it was just about...not ever being able to zero in on what it is I mean to say.

But if someone acted like this to me, as they did to the original poster..or to Sora..I would act the exact same way. I've been known to beccome everything short of violent...argumentative and sarcastic...at work...over lesser things.

Well I had one yesterday and I let it out since no one was home! I just screamed my head off for 10 minutes.. I have had a VERY difficult week, and on top of it I sprained my foot and just lost it. I haven't had a meltdown like that in.. YEARS but I felt so much better after it!