The non-verbal

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After a long lifetime, here is what I've come up with;

Being extraordinarily lazy, and therefore reductionist, I assume the worst when it comes to other people. They will misconstrue, misinterpret, misperceive just about everything, and usually in the very worst way imaginable. I plan for this. I anticipate their intentions will be selfish and dishonest. I am seldom "disappointed" in this and, paradoxically, when I am, it's a pleasant surprise, and it does happen on occasion.

Knowing this, I usually assess for the length of time it takes to come to a decision regarding their worth/integrity, conclude they don't have any, and then let fly. If, in fact, the people around me are chronically deceptive and self-promoting, often with the intention of such being at my expense, it's difficult to;

1.) Feel too self-conscious. Why? I just enjoy the ridiculous interplay that I'm only seeing a small part of, and then, for fun, often throw a monkey wrench in the works just to see the effect and watch the confusion. Oddly, this can be therapeutic in its own way. What's good for the goose . . .

2.) Feel concerned for them. Compassion has its limits, and I'm not doing any real harm, just playing, in a mildly evil way, with people with decidedly evil intentions.

These non-verbal things become conditioned NT responses after some time, and if one can break that conditioning by a well-placed verbal disconnect, it CAN reveal things you should know about your subject. Good people will react in a different way than those with bad intent, and that is pretty easily discerned. Summing up, I suppose the advice given is that, if they are playing a game where you are at a real disadvantage, then alter the game so that the playing field is slightly more level. It'll never be completely level, but this can even things up somewhat. Sometimes, being thought of as eccentric and unpredictable can be an advantage. The disadvantage is that they may think of you as arrogant, aloof, etc, but then, most of the time, they are going to arrive at those kind of conclusions anyway, so why worry about it?

The disclaimer; I am very different w/other aspies.

"Whatmeworry" ---Alfred E. Neuman

I think that non-verbal communication and perception of the environment makes up about 75% of my interaction with those and those things around me. How can it be any other way?

Thank you, Ana. I can see why it was a traumatic experience.