My mum tells me to "act normal"

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While I realize, and do not want to belittle, that this is a serious issue for you, I had to laugh when I saw your thread title because it immediately echoed in my mind, all the times I've told my AS son to "act normal" or "normalize." Fortunately, he seems to understand that I am saying it for THAT MOMENT, and not for always.

For the most part, I do want home to be his safe place where he can be himself, and the entire family has given up quite a lot in that regard (we live with damaged furniture because he likes to pace into it; we keep the TV off even though my daughter loves TV because it distracts him, and so on). Still, there are times where I simply cannot handle it, or when my husband cannot handle it. We are not devoid of sensory issues and frustrations ourselves and there are times when we ask him to accept that our needs trump his. For the moment.

Everything in a family situation is about balance.

Hey DW--have you tried watching TV with the captions? If it's not the high-pitched "TV sound" that's bugging him, but the sound coming from the speakers, there could be a compromise. (Flat panel TVs don't have that high pitched sound, IIRC.)

I remember those days.. though I do find myself teaching my son what is appropriate and what isn't. Now THAT is irony.

Though I definitely agree with learning the basic social behaviors in order to get what one wants, function as one needs to and generally be pleasant enough to be around (god knows I wouldn't be where I am now if I hadn't learned those things!), I think a lot of parents and other authority figures go about it the wrong way - to the detriment of their charges.

I'd very much like to see people being encouraged to be the best self that they can be - improving in X, Y and Z areas without having to sacrifice A, B and C positive qualities or harmless enjoyments. However, too often I see it presented, by adults of all kind, that the end of normalcy justifies the means - even if that means sacrificing special abilities, admirable traits or psychological wellbeing of the child in question. They don't want a reasonably more outgoing and polite child who still is creative, analytical, brave, honest or any other quality that they might have had before. They want another child entirely, one who exists only in their minds, one who cannot have aspects of their personality that could ever be offensive or difficult to handle.

Some people might not find the two ways of dealing with an autistic or otherwise different child all that distinct - at least not without it being laid out like this. But it is FELT by the person who others want to change. It would be best to work with people on the assumption that they are NOT "normal" and will never fit that narrow definition of "normalcy," and help them so they can better perform in the world, but still be secure in themselves. A person, on the other hand, who can go through the motions of being socially acceptable perfectly, but has a continued sense that they're a defective person underneath the "mask," is a sad case indeed.

Tell her to go to hell.

Seriously, you can't just change someone for things that aren't their fault, home is the only place I can do my aspie things without anyone making a big deal out of it!

My mum was saying about something how i take after her and i didnt let her talk. I said "I dont I dont" I take after my dad i take after my dad and my dad is dead" and then she just left
i think she gets annoyed with me sometimes. She always knows when i am not myslef except when i am like that i feel like i hate her and tell her go away.
She goes 'your well now" and i go "i wasnt unwell in the first place i was just stressed."
She shouldnt have bashed me when i was a kid and her bf shouldnt punched me over the head when i was little. No wonder i have problems.

I more so get "act your age."
I either act too young, a bit childish and silly, or too old, serious and uptight.
Not much in-between.