ToM

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Hints to know you lack it:


You don't understand why someone is upset about something because it wouldn't upset you.
You don't know how you would feel because you have never been in that situation.
You expect someone to know what you know


Some people on here are probably thinking "Doesn't that happen to NTs too?"
Well yeah sometimes because everyone lacks it. I think the difference is we lack it more often than they do and they probably lack it more often with us.

I would memorize the answer like I do to questions. That's a way to pass them and come off as an NT to doctors unless they give you completely new questions you never never heard or they ask you how did you know the answer. Either tell the truth how you knew or lie.

Here is something my mother told me a few years ago:

Buy gifts people like for example my brothers like South Park, so buy them a South Park item.

Buy something you like and give it to someone. My delima: What if they don't like it, how am I supposed to know they will like it or not?

I don't expect my family to like my gifts. When I buy my brothers games or movies, I save the recipes in case they don't like them.
I also call my parents and ask what they like. I know my mother loves candles so I buy her those. My dad loves sports so I can buy him something sporty.

My experience with ToM is that I get the obvious things but can miss the more subtle things. So now when I'm going to work with someone I don't know well, I'll tell them that if they want me to know something to just tell me. Don't expect me to guess because I probably won't. I won't be offended if you just come out say what's on your mind.