I'm very paranoid all the time. It's taking over my life, and is making me hate being me. I'm so worried about what everyone else are thinking of me, I even forget to exist. By that I mean, I'm on job-seekers at the moment, but I'm taking so long looking for a job because I'm just always thinking of other people and what they're thinking, so I'm not concentrating on my life. I'm scared to arrange an interview because I'm just scared that the interviewer(s) might think I'm some sort of idiot, even though I don't act it (well, I don't think I do....). But I get paranoied by things people tell me. Like someone once told me that others can sense that I'm odd even without me doing anything - and that has set it all off. And being a young 20 year old woman doesn't help, because most other young women and teenagers look at you all the time to judge what you're wearing and what you look like. It's just a stupid thing what is in women. And that makes me paranoid, because sometimes people really look at me and snigger to themselves, as though I've just done something really embarrassing and stupid - even though I'm just standing there looking cool and normal. So I wonder if they really do sense that I must be weird in some sort of way.
Also, I hate being the one to have to wait in for the gas man to come, or for the electrician to come, because I keep on thinking they will come in and look at me and think, ''who this stupid girl who lives here?'' I know it's just my narrow thinking and I know I'm being a trifle silly, but it's just the way I've been thinking about myself lately. Like at the charity shop where I volunteer, it said on the rota sheet which volunteer can supervise, and everyone's name was on the list except for mine - and I've been there longer than all them and I can work really fast. So again that's made me paranoid and also a bit hurt, because that must mean the manager was thinking, ''we won't let Josie supervise because she's a crap volunteer.''
So there are a lot of reasons as to why I am a paranoid person.
_________________
Female