Failure to diagnose...

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Indeed. And also....the constant looking for a reason for the "self-undermining" my parents always told me I had...the need to self-destruct. Christ, that thought drove me crazy for years, not being able to find an answer, it didn't make any sense, but my family seemed to think it was like....fear of success or something nebulous like that.

Nope. It was as simple as not being able to f*cking easily dance to a different tune when the unwritten rules changed, that caused the anger and frustration, and the inevitable setbacks. How this would have changed things, had I known.

(disclaimer: not dx'ed)

My fifth grade teacher's reaction (this woman made my life hell for 8 months) when she found out about a month ago:

"I KNEW there was something wrong with her!! !! !"


...then why didn't you DO anything? This is a woman who was NEVER afraid to overstep her bounds, so she can't pull the "I had no right to" excuse. When my elementary school tested my IQ in sixth grade, they saw the 41 point gap between verbal and performance IQ and still did nothing. Did they NOT do anything because I got into the gifted class so they figured...

"Well. She's smart. That means there's nothing wrong."

I went through 23 years thinking I was insane, actually insane, until I found out it was AS and I still question that it's AS.

I expect you are correct, it is unlikely that your doctor is taking you seriously.


From reading this far through, I immediately suspected you presented clinically with rapid/pressured speech.


Did she? Or did she suggest such speech was commonly associated with bi-polar? The latter is true, but it's also associated with AS, and is often described in literature as a common AS reaction when stressed, anxious, excited or overwhelmed. I suspect your doctor did not tell you that latter tip-bit though.

In my experience, the quicker a doctor is to dismiss AS out of hand, most usually ,the less the qualified they are to have a clinical opinion on anything to do with AS.

Yep, I am 22 also. Just found out about AS 8 months ago while reading a Wikipedia article about Issac newton. Needless to say it was a rather odd feeling. My reaction was something like:

That sounds like me,

That really sounds like me,

Are these people spying on me?

WTH! I am not autistic!

wait, hold on.... awww crap.

After that it has been a very interesting 8 months filled with a massive amount of self discovery, that has completely changed how I view the world. I think it would be fair to say that I have matured more in the last 8 months then the 8 years proceeding it. Needless to say, it explained alot of the questions I have had my entire life. It has also helped me to be more content with myself. I have accepted myself, and stopped pretending to be somebody else to please others. As a result, alot of the anxiety I felt about socializing has begun to fade. Once you stop trying to fit in, and please everybody else, interacting socially becomes much easier.

If I want to, I can act normal for short periods, but I no longer feel obligated to do so. Now that I am armed with knowledge about my AS, I have improved my normalcy impersonation act, for times when I want to fit in. Before I knew about AS, i didnt know where, how, or what I needed to act, now I do. While I no longer try to act normal all the time, knowing how to do so more effectively has been very useful in situations where appearing strange would be highly problematic (interviews, handling money, etc).

But ultimately, it put an end to the problems I was having with people complaining about my problems. I was always told that I could catch a ball, and throw if I only practiced more, and tried harder. I would be able to write neatly if I tried harder and practiced more. I would be better at small talk if I tried harder. I was told that I didnt go on dates or to parties because I was an anti-social misanthrope. Yet no matter how hard I tried, or what I did, I was never able to do these things, and the constant failure made me feel miserable. All my mother and teachers did was tell me I was lazy, and not trying hard enough, which only made me feel worse. Finally being able to say that its not my fault was a very big relief to me.

I cant really describe everything I have thought and felt since finding out, but I can say that I am glad I found out. I post on this message board hoping that something I say will be of use to another person who also has, or had a difficult life. While I cant fix the problem, at least knowing about it, and understanding it makes a world of difference.

A diagnostic success topic

I consider it a triumph having finally learned about that missing puzzle piece. now i know how to proceed.

This is a valid reason to be diagnosed. Life can go on.

GO!

Same story, add twenty more years without a diagnosis.



It really doesn't matter, does it?